Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 12:17 PM
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
Quote:
Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
I am not surprised that therapists have a higher divorce rate. While I do think many get into the profession due to their own issues, I also think the profession itself likely puts stress on a marriage. Listening to people and "connecting" with them all day is exhausting even for the most social of individuals. I have read comments on the psychotherapy sub from many therapists expressing how they just want quiet time when they get home. I imagine this would be even harder for therapists who are introverts. I personally enjoy plenty of alone time as an introvert, and if I were a therapist, I would be too emotionally spent after work to connect with a partner. I also wonder how many of them have trouble not slipping into therapist speak sometimes in their personal lives where it is not appropriate. If my partner were a therapist and they said something to me using therapist phrasing or lingo, I would likely find it condescending. There is also the issue of jealousy to consider. I think it is quite likely that some partners of therapists find the fact that their partner spends so much time listening to others' secrets and being exposed to their private emotions rather... I'm not sure what the word I'm looking for is. But I do think there could be some jealousy, especially if the therapist partner isn't very emotionally available due to being burned out from work.
Really good points; thanks for posting this. I think the point about "quiet time" is especially true. My GYN is a gay man who says funny things about how often straight GYN men talk about their intimacy issues, something along the lines of "I just want to go home and not think/see another ___."
Thanks for this!
susannahsays

advertisement
  #27  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 01:01 PM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is online now
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,104
Ex-T was married to a therapist, and they used to work in the same practice together, but he retired before I started seeing her. I sometimes wondered what it was like being their kids. Ex-MC's late wife was not a therapist (kindergarten teacher, I think) and current T is not married to a therapist (I don't know what she does, but he said at one point that he's reluctant to share stories of his workday with her because she's not a therapist and wouldn't understand in the way that a colleague would).
  #28  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 01:45 PM
healinginprogress healinginprogress is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 394
Nope. I found out by accident her spouse's occupation, but I know prior it wasn't a therapist.
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

~Dr. Seuss
  #29  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 01:51 PM
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0 View Post
I think it might be useful to bring it up because I think this was a lousy thing to do to a teenager who just lost her father. Idiot therapists. Side benefit might be that you might learn for sure whether it was him or not. Don't you think this early experience, especially so close in time to your father's death, might impact how you think and feel about therapy?
I am curious about whether or not it was him (or really his wife) that I saw many years ago, but not sure that’s really relevant to my current therapy. I just kind of want to know. Also, bringing this up would mean I’d have to admit that I know that his wife is a therapist. He’s never shared this with me and although I discovered this honestly while researching therapists before I met him, I have googled her since then and I feel a little guilty about that.
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
  #30  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 02:21 PM
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123 View Post
I am curious about whether or not it was him (or really his wife) that I saw many years ago, but not sure that’s really relevant to my current therapy. I just kind of want to know. Also, bringing this up would mean I’d have to admit that I know that his wife is a therapist. He’s never shared this with me and although I discovered this honestly while researching therapists before I met him, I have googled her since then and I feel a little guilty about that.
To be honest with you and I hope not unkind, try to have a little more courage. Bringing up topics a bit out of your comfort zone is part of what you're supposed to do in therapy. So what if you've googled? It's not a crime or an invasion.
  #31  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 02:26 PM
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0 View Post
To be honest with you and I hope not unkind, try to have a little more courage. Bringing up topics a bit out of your comfort zone is part of what you're supposed to do in therapy. So what if you've googled? It's not a crime or an invasion.
He already knows I’ve googled him. We’ve had that conversation and he was totally fine with it but I was uncomfortable, so not dying to go there again. You are right though, I shouldn’t worry so much. It can’t hurt to bring it up.
  #32  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 02:27 PM
ChickenNoodleSoup ChickenNoodleSoup is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,664
My T's wife is a T as well, they're both psychiatrists. They even share their office, they work on different days though.
I've seen his wife once, she had an emergency shift during one my crisis. At the time she said she didn't have any openings but 'somebody she knows' did and gave me his number. He was pretty straight forward about the fact that they are married though. Sometimes I feel it's a bit weird that they are both Ts, but then I think about the fact that my partner and I share the same job and office as well...

I'd talk to your T about it if you're thinking about this a lot or are wondering, if you feel like it.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #33  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 02:38 PM
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123 View Post
He already knows I’ve googled him. We’ve had that conversation and he was totally fine with it but I was uncomfortable, so not dying to go there again. You are right though, I shouldn’t worry so much. It can’t hurt to bring it up.
I think satisfying your curiosity about whether your experience could have possibly been with him is worth raising the issue. You don't have to reveal that you know his wife is a therapist, or how you know that, or that you've googled her since then. In your shoes, I think I would feel distrustful somewhere in the back of my mind when thinking it was a possibility that he could have done this years ago. I would think he would want to attone for it if he had, or he might want to acknowledge that whoever did that, screwed up. An experience like that as a child would shake my trust in the profession in general.
  #34  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 04:27 PM
circlesincircles's Avatar
circlesincircles circlesincircles is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 303
Yes, but I don't really know anything about him, other than T briefly mentioning having gone to couples therapy with him and giving that T a run for their money.
  #35  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 04:40 PM
Spangle's Avatar
Spangle Spangle is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 1,100
My T isn't married, but his very long term partner is a movement /dance therapist.
  #36  
Old Apr 30, 2019, 07:58 PM
GeekyOne GeekyOne is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 210
My T is married to a pediatric psychiatrist. They work at the same clinic. It's not a secret - she took his last name, so there's two Dr. <lastname> at the clinic.

My pdoc (at the same clinic) is married, but I don't know what her husband does. Sounds like he's a bit of a geek though - if I tell her about something I'm doing or a movie I want to see or something, she'll often say he's doing that, bought tickets weeks ago, etc.

I don't know anything about my previous Ts' spouses. The T I saw directly before this was gay (part of why I saw her was because I wanted a queer T) Other Ts didn't say anything about their spouses, if they had them.
  #38  
Old May 02, 2019, 12:53 PM
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
You have brought up memories of my childhood next door neighbours, both of which were psychologists. This is totally unrelated to the discussion but it was the first thing I thought of. They had the worst kids ever; rather a case of the cobblers kids going barefoot if you catch my drift.
Thanks for this!
Lrad123
  #39  
Old May 02, 2019, 03:21 PM
88Butterfly88's Avatar
88Butterfly88 88Butterfly88 is offline
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,324
Old t's husband worked in IT. New t's wife is a speech therapist.
  #40  
Old May 02, 2019, 04:14 PM
feralkittymom's Avatar
feralkittymom feralkittymom is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: yada
Posts: 4,415
No and no. Former T's wife did office work; current T's husband is a retired professor. Former T and his wife married young and have been together over 60 years, but they are of the WWII generation when marrying young wasn't uncommon. Current T, I think, met her husband when she was a graduate student and he was a professor; became 2nd wife, and they've been together for over 40 yrs. Their kids seem very well-adjusted and successful. Former T's kids much the same, though I know his son had difficulties with motivation and under achievement in college, but eventually became credentialed and had a successful career.


Both Ts have grand kids, and former T has great grand kids.

I think divorce rates are also higher in the medical field--and I think rates of addiction are higher in the medical field than other professions. And I think I remember reading that psychiatrists, in particular, have one of the highest rates of suicide. So the pressure that susannasays posted about seems to be a factor.


Lrad, although I think your experience of the first T must have been very hurtful, I'm not sure the T did anything wrong. A male T who sees clients out of his home would be reckless to see teenage female clients. I don't know much about malpractice insurance, but I'd be surprised if an insurer would even cover such a practice. So if it was your T after all, maybe you can believe it had nothing to do with you personally, nor reflects badly on your T.
  #41  
Old May 05, 2019, 03:34 PM
TeaVicar?'s Avatar
TeaVicar? TeaVicar? is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: in the parlour.
Posts: 353
Yes, both individual therapist and former couples therapist are both married to therapists. I'm pretty sure my therapist and his wife use the same room for seeing clients.
__________________
"It is a joy to be hidden but a disaster not to be found." D.W. Winnicott
Reply
Views: 2416

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:37 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.