Feeling lonely and trying to find a reason to email T

This is what I am so afraid of. Him needing so much care from me, mentally and physically. I can barely take care of myself let alone someone else. Life is rotten and I hate living as it is.

@MoxieDoxie I am very sorry to hear about your husband. Remember to take care of yourself while taking care of him.

I hope it is easier for you than it was for me. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. On the plus side, it was good to know I could show up for someone who was dying and be present for them. It was good to know I could do the right thing under difficult circumstances.

He said a very endearing kind thing to me as he knows my husbands surgery is on Monday. He said I did not need to be in crisis to call him and to please use him as a support resource and to call him if I need to just connect. That amazes me.

My T was like this during my H's entire illness. There was a week or two where I called him every day when crazy medical or family stuff was happening ( I don't know what your relationship with his family is, but dealing with them can be more taxing than anything, IME).

So take him up on it. Call every day if you have to. He means it.

I have been caretaker to my sister and now to my husband. It is physically and emotionally draining. Utilize your therapist because like they say in the airplanes, you need to put on your oxygen mask first before you put one on another person.

My therapist was a vital source of support. Sometimes it was just an extra phone call. Sometimes it was an extra session. He often called me directly when he knew something in particular was going on like my husband being in the ICU. But he was always available. At one point, my therapist's office was literally across the hospital parking lot, and he came over during his lunch hour and sat with my husband while I ran to get some lunch and run an errand.

I'm fortunate now; our children are grown and I can ask them to help with their Dad. They can take a shift in the hospital so I can go home and take a shower, or they can just come sit at home so I can go to the grocery store or rehearsal. Do you have other people you can call on for that kind of physical relief on occasion? It doesn't even have to be family. Maybe friends or his or your coworkers? Church members? Even an hour can make a great difference.

Take the moments you find for yourself. So sorry you are dealing with this. There is very little harder.

That is so good of your t to let you know he is there for you. With my first t she was always there for me when thing got hard at home with my Grandpa no matter how many times i called her she was there and she would always let me know if she had to take time off. So that was reassuring to know she was there for me and her support meant so much to me. With my previous therapist i could call at anytime and he would call me back during office hours if need be. It's always good to have a therapist that offers that type of support. Hugs, i hope your husbands surgery on Monday goes well and also know we are here on pc for you. Hugs