An email tracker which records when an email has been opened and how many times it has been opened, all without the inconvenience of alerting the recipient.

It is now possible for me to calculate exactly how irrelevant she considers me to be. Not opened? Oh that's bad. Opened and not replied? Oh my heart, that's worse!!

Who would design such a horror piece of software?? They have clearly never love hated their therapist. And why didn't any of you warn me?! Oh who am I kidding, you probably all have the pro paid-for versions installed.

[Merope]

I had no idea such a thing existed!

Originally Posted by Merope

I had no idea such a thing existed!

I am sorry you had to find out like this.

I had no idea either and I will now studiously attempt to forget before I download it. I haven't emailed L yet since I went back but let's be honest it's only a matter of time.

[LonesomeTonight]

I've heard of this before (on these forums, actually!) and have managed to resist so far. I *definitely* wouldn't want to have it for my T's upcoming vacation, when he says he doesn't know if he'll have WiFi/email access. Because what if I see he's read it. Then he doesn't reply. Then when he comes back, he says, "Nope, I had no Wifi access." Not that I think he'd lie, but in this case, I think I'd rather not know. (Of course, it could also be he was able to read it in one location, then when he went to reply he no longer had it, but still...) And if when he is in town, I email him in the evening with a distress email, see he's read it, then he doesn't reply till morning, it will be like, "Wait, he read it and didn't reply?" Where now I can think to myself "I probably sent it after his evening email check, he'll just read it and reply in the morning."

This reminds me of something that got me in trouble with a then-boyfriend way back in college. Where using our primitive email program (late 90s), I could tell he'd read an evening "I love you" message (we'd been saying it for a long time) and saw he'd read it, but he didn't reply. He claimed he never saw it, I called him on having read it, he got angry at me, thought he'd break up with me then.


One thing that is OK in terms of this is H and I having our phones set so we can see if the other read our texts. This can be important in communicating stuff about D or just "Hey can you get eggs at the store" and knowing if he saw it or if I need to call or just not expect eggs.

[atisketatasket]

I’ve used them for other professionals and work as well as therapists.

The worst thing isn’t when they open it and don’t reply. The worst thing is when they open it multiple times and still don’t reply.

ETA: it also tells you where they opened it.

[ArtleyWilkins]

One more reason I am grateful my therapist kept contact to business phone with no texting or email. I always knew he received my message and he always personally picked up the phone so we could communicate in real time. Cuts out a lot of second guessing, supposition, and drama.

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Cuts out a lot of second guessing, supposition, and drama.

What's the point of therapy in that case?

[SalingerEsme]

I don't think I could handle the info resulting. I would be a wreck. No upside.

I consider that an invasion of privacy. I've been stalked before, so the whole idea of an individual tracking another's actions is triggering though creepy at best.

Oh god, now my Chrome extensions constitute human rights violations. Just when it seemed this weekend of existential agony couldn't sink any lower.

sorry, it's my ptsd not you.

[TheMayz]

Certainly not good for someone with GAD ahha

[Lemoncake]

I signed up after @@ first mentioned it.

It was helpful in just knowing he'd read it.

I'm a teeny bit better with emails since we increased our reply time frame from 2 days to 5. Haven't used it for ages now.

If they normally reply trust that they will.

[darkestpart]

just putting this out there...

there are services that will show the recipient when an email is being tracked. i wouldn’t like it if i knew a client was tracking the emails they sent me. i would probably say no more emails.

[Xynesthesia2]

Originally Posted by octoberful

I consider that an invasion of privacy. I've been stalked before, so the whole idea of an individual tracking another's actions is triggering though creepy at best.

Same. I have never been stalked but had a mother who often invaded my physical territory in unexpected and uninvited ways. Not sure how much that is the cause of my sensitivity to intrusion and concerns about privacy but it is pretty strong, even if not PTSD-like at all. I have known about that tracking tool for a good while and know people who use it. I remember actually feeling angry when I first heard of it, how could someone even create something like that and people use it as though it was a regular communication tool? I would never use it, no matter how curious I am and would probably be quite upset if I heard someone was tracking me that way (probably it happened as I communicate via email a lot) and, especially, if they put demands on me and make assumptions about me based on it. I also do think it is creepy... but then what about the many other ways people are tracked via the internet these days?

I think I would not care much about knowing what a T is doing with my emails but would be furious if I figured, for example, that they track me that way. Just shows a particular type of sensitivity I guess.

[precaryous]

I haven’t had AOL for some time, but allowing the sender to know if an email was opened was a regular part of their email service.

Clarifying my post wasn't in response to the concept of a read receipt. I was thinking of the software mentioned that tracks where the user was when they opened it, who they fowarded it to, how many times they opemed it, etc.

Surveillance tools that tracks things you'd expect are private.

[darkestpart]

there’s definitely a difference between a read receipt and all the information these trackers give!

[Merope]

I think I’d feel uncomfortable with the knowledge that my therapist knew I tracked him like this. In fact, I’d feel uncomfortable with doing it in the first place. It would be damaging to the trust we’ve established.

...................

[ScarletPimpernel]

I haven't downloaded it, but have heard of it from on here and my H. Luckily, I don't need it. I have a deal with T and L that I get a response by the next morning.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by darkestpart

just putting this out there...
there are services that will show the recipient when an email is being tracked. i wouldn’t like it if i knew a client was tracking the emails they sent me. i would probably say no more emails.

This is a good point. Like theres no such thing as a free lunch. What are you getting away with exactly? Are you looking for proof of love or hate? And what does it mean if you find that proof? You still have to deal with that.

[Spirit of Trees]

As tempting as an email tracker would be, I think it'd only lead to me emotionally self-destructing. I used to obsessively check whether my T replied to my emails and a tracker would only make things worse.

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

An email tracker which records when an email has been opened and how many times it has been opened, all without the inconvenience of alerting the recipient.

It is now possible for me to calculate exactly how irrelevant she considers me to be. Not opened? Oh that's bad. Opened and not replied? Oh my heart, that's worse!!

Who would design such a horror piece of software?? They have clearly never love hated their therapist. And why didn't any of you warn me?! Oh who am I kidding, you probably all have the pro paid-for versions installed.

I think that if your T opens your email and doesn’t reply for a while it may be that she is doing other things and wants to take the time to write a considered reply. The written word can be very powerful and can be easily understood in a way not intended, which we can’t check out easily if we are not face to face, I should think your T would might not want to send a hasty reply while her mind is on other things, but might want to ponder over your email and send a thoughtful reply later if possible.