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#1
Jun 28, 2019, 02:42 PM
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Do you talk about sex related topics with your therapist?
Today, after some nudging from her, I finally admitted that the Prozac or whatever it is I'm taking killed my sex drive. I actually told her I couldn't get horny anymore. I used that word. She was surprisingly (Okay, I figured she would be) gentle and understanding. What about you? Do you feel safe talking about sex with your therapist? |
 LabRat27, Omers
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#2
Jun 28, 2019, 03:04 PM
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Safe? Yes. Comfortable? Getting there.
If your therapist wasn't okay with talking about it and gentle and understanding that would be concerning. I'm glad you were able to talk with her about it and that it went well! All the discomfort in my convos with my T about the topic comes from me. We've had some pretty unorthodox conversations, though they haven't been particularly explicit, mostly due to my discomfort.
Possible trigger:
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| Omers, Slater
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 healed84, Slater
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#3
Jun 28, 2019, 05:20 PM
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My T has said he wants me to be able to talk to him about anything and he did specifically mention if sexual feelings towards him came up it was OK and we could talk about t. But, a couple sessions ago we were talking about why I married H and I said that there was a LOT of lust but that H was the only man I have ever been around where I wasn’t shameful and feeling dirty about my sexuality. It kinda threw T for a loop. I am not sure if it was because he just wasn’t expecting it, didn’t think I would be so comfortable with it or if it was marrying, in part, out of lust... but I don’t seem to have a problem talking to him about sex. It should get interesting though because I am super open minded about sex/sexuality and people tend to think of me as more shy, quiet, traditional, or lord help us all... pure just because I have that innocent look and did not have consensual relations with anyone until I was married.
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#4
Jun 28, 2019, 05:23 PM
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Safe certainly. Was a bit awkward at first but got better after two or three times.
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#5
Jun 28, 2019, 05:25 PM
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I’ve had to talk about sex with therapists, because intimacy was the nature of my issue. I had no problem blurting it out matter of factly. They never had any reaction.
With this last one, I blurted out something really crude regarding something about someone else and the therapist laughed and joked about it.  . I was a little shocked at the ease it flew out of my mouth TBH. I wasn’t upset with him for joking, it was funny.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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#6
Jun 28, 2019, 05:36 PM
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Yes. It is still a bit awkward but I feel safe talking about it with him. I struggle over what is acceptable and what isn't though. How much I can say without it being too much information, all that stuff. ALTHOUGH we recently had an in-depth talk about testicles and so I now am thinking that nothing is probably off limits and I have just been holding myself back on this topic. :P
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#7
Jun 28, 2019, 06:20 PM
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I know she is fine with I on the other hand talk around it. Sometimes they cant follow what I am trying to say and will ask for clarification. when I can't answer they start asking yes or no questions until we are on the same page
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#8
Jun 28, 2019, 06:45 PM
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We talk about it pretty frequently; sometimes I feel comfortable and sometimes I don’t. I always know that he’s safe though. It’s weird because with friends, I’m pretty open about sexual stuff, but with my t it’s like I can’t get the words out. A few weeks ago I had something to share with him relating to orgasms and I just couldn’t say the word, but he said it just fine lol.
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#9
Jun 28, 2019, 06:51 PM
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With long term T.... Mostly yes. I had been hesitant to the first time and I wrote it all down and told him that I was just gonna quit lol.. but he read it and was like "that's common" and just the way he said it, was so calming and it just became easy. After that, we talked about lots of sexual topics without being an issue
With baby T, no. he would make me uncomfortable with his cocky and smily BS With T3, well, I thought I would be because he specializes in it... but I found out this week that it was basically hell on earth LOL. I couldn't even look at him until he talked me through it to make eye contact, I still feel a bit unsure but to be fair, I've only see him about 6 times. So it isn't very trusting either yet.
__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love. |
| Lemoncake, Omers
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| Anonymous45127
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#10
Jun 28, 2019, 07:27 PM
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Safe but not comfortable. We've rarely if ever directly discussed sex beyond a brief comment. With my first therapist, who was a woman, I could say almost anything because she was very open herself and would share about her own marriage. It felt pretty easy. With this current therapist, I feel like I am having to build myself up to talking about sex with him. It just feels awkward to tell him all these things when he's a guy and I'm a woman and we're about the same age. I'm not even sure what a conversation like that would look like, but I will find out eventually. It's a big issue for me and one of the reasons I'm in therapy.
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#11
Jun 28, 2019, 08:18 PM
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Safe? I guess so. Maybe. Depends on the context. If we're talking about abuse with a sexual component, I am mostly ok, but sometimes I get paranoid and have this sort of delusion or something that she is going to laugh at me. She hasn't done anything to make me think she would do anything like that, it's just a deep-seated fear, I guess. Sometimes I have nightmares about it.
For consensual sex stuff, it's still kind of complicated because she doesn't approve of my choices in that area.
Possible trigger:
__________________
Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold Last edited by susannahsays; Jun 28, 2019 at 08:42 PM. |
| Omers, Victoria'smom
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| Anonymous45127
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#12
Jun 28, 2019, 08:37 PM
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No, I do not talk about sex with my therapist. It’s not one of the reasons I’m in therapy anyway. So I leave the topic of sex off limits. It’s the one thing I choose to keep all to myself. Although it may not always be the case for me, it works for me for now.
__________________
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. ~Rumi |
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#13
Jun 28, 2019, 08:39 PM
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Talking about sex is not difficult for me with anyone for the most part. There was not much reason for me to talk to the woman about sex, but it was not hard the couple of times it came up.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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#14
Jun 28, 2019, 09:43 PM
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For sure I feel safe talking about it with him. And actually more and more comfortable talking to him about it as time goes on.
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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#15
Jun 29, 2019, 03:22 AM
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Safe yes but talking about sex isn't a priority, I have other more pressing issues to discuss. Also I'm not all that comfortable talking about sex in general, due to my upbringing.
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#16
Jun 29, 2019, 06:24 AM
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Nope.
Not periods either. It's not him though, just me- it brings up a lot of shame and i'm not there yet.
__________________
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#17
Jun 29, 2019, 05:36 PM
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Interesting question. I think there´s a clear division between talking about my own sexual issues and talking about sexual issues relating to transference.
My sexual issues also affects how I relate to a T. I don´t see a T at this very moment but I have at least touched the subject of sex when talking to former T:s. I would say it feels rather safe but I´ve also experienced that not all T:s have enough knowledge about sexual issues to really engage in such discussions. I would probably not feel safe talking about erotic transference until I really knew a T could handle that I for example once in a while think about how her sex life is or that I during some stages in therapy find her attractive. For some T:s this unfortunately is seen as boundary crossing. With a new T I could probably ask her rather early on if she knows how to handle erotic transference but I would feel that could also end our relationship. |
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#18
Jun 30, 2019, 01:46 AM
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Since it's one of the main issues going on, I talk to my T about sex a lot more than I talk to most people about it. I feel safer talking to him about it than anyone else because he normalizes the subject. It's still very uncomfortable to talk more than just surface level, factual things like how I feel about sex. T seems more comfortable talking about orgasms and things of that nature than I am.
Possible trigger:
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| Anonymous45127
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#19
Jun 30, 2019, 09:22 AM
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Safe yes, comfortable no. My T thinks sex is an "essential" topic which is important but not often talked about. I don't know if she's kink friendly, but I hope she is, because that would make me more comfortable. I find it easier to talk about sexual trauma than consensual sex or even my sexual difficulties.
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#20
Jun 30, 2019, 09:27 AM
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Quote:
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| susannahsays, Xynesthesia2
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#21
Jun 30, 2019, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Possible trigger:
__________________
Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
| Anonymous45127
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#22
Jun 30, 2019, 03:09 PM
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Quote:
Possible trigger:
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| susannahsays
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#23
Jun 30, 2019, 03:29 PM
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I've only mentioned it briefly, can't imagine being able to discuss details but that's my discomfort rather than hers.
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#24
Jun 30, 2019, 03:34 PM
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I have talked about sexual topics with former female therapists. Given my new therapist is male I'd be more hesitant to bring it up just because of my own comfort levels.
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#25
Jun 30, 2019, 11:57 PM
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Related but slightly different - for me, it’s periods. At first, it was excruciating. It’s still hard now but slightly easier. I even found myself recently wanting to share with her about it, which is shocking to me. Though I couldn’t bring myself to. But just having the urge to was huge for me.p
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