Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

junkDNA · Aug 22, 2019 at 03:54 AM

I wish I could go back in time eith u

And I am 4 years old

And you swoop in and rescue me from abuse

Abuse that lasted 9 years , 9 years!!

I used 2 pretend it never happened , like I convinced myself it didnt happen to me

I wish u were there then ... I wish anyone would have been there ... anyone that would have cared enough to STOP IT

Amyjay · Aug 22, 2019 at 05:36 AM

I don't know, T. Who are you? Who am I? Does any of it even matter?
I don't know who you are. I don't know what I am.
I don't think I can be bothered.
I just think... it will actually be a lot easier for you without me.
I really do hate that kind of talk.
But I do see it doesn't matter to you one way or the other
and that's okay.
Maybe it's easier for both of us that way.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 22, 2019 at 07:01 AM

Dear T,
Do I talk to you today about the dream I had last night involving ex-MC? I'm not sure what it's about. Particularly the thing about his shoulders being bare. And the plants.
Love,
LT

Victoria'smom · Aug 22, 2019 at 07:04 AM

Intake T,
Please don't freak out.
Thank-you,
MM

susannahsays · Aug 22, 2019 at 05:08 PM

Thank you.

CartDown · Aug 22, 2019 at 05:22 PM

I leave your office feeling good and then I start wondering how therapy will end. The thought of never seeing you again scares the **** out of me.

CantExplain · Aug 22, 2019 at 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I don't know, T. Who are you? Who am I? Does any of it even matter?
I don't know who you are. I don't know what I am.
I don't think I can be bothered.
I just think... it will actually be a lot easier for you without me.
I really do hate that kind of talk.
But I do see it doesn't matter to you one way or the other
and that's okay.
Maybe it's easier for both of us that way.

Finding out who you are is one of the benefits of therapy.

junkDNA · Aug 23, 2019 at 02:01 AM

Mmmeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh

comrademoomoo · Aug 23, 2019 at 05:33 AM

I hope it is raining on every day of your holiday. I hope you are having such a ghastly time that you decide to never go on holiday again.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 23, 2019 at 08:43 AM

I can't think of the term we used. I know you used 'emotional manipulation', and that makes sense. 'Trauma is grief with steel toe-cap boots on' was mine...but what the heck was the word?

It's bugging me.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 23, 2019 at 09:08 AM

Dear T,
Sorry I'm such a f***-up. Glad you can see me today, though I can only think you're like "FFS, LT, what now?"

Love,
LT

junkDNA · Aug 23, 2019 at 12:47 PM

SORRY
WISH I COULD SEE u today .

Lemoncake · Aug 23, 2019 at 01:07 PM

I signed in today after being absent for a while, and I could feel the love reading all the PMs I've got. I haven't replied to any yet but will eventually at a snail pace.

I don't feel like I'm the same person and that's because I'm not. Looking back I can't believe that I used to get so upset about half the stuff that I did. I don't feel much at the moment and I'm not even worried about my upcoming exam.

This break around I didn't religiously count down the days until you would return. Our last session together was nice. I can remeber there was a lot of joking and smiling. Though you'd never say it to me. I could feel your love in that moment.Because I was me- I made you promise me that you would return and then still asked if you would really turn up to my session.

You said you would come back after the bank holiday, with our next session on the 29th. I find it comforting to know you're actually already home and having a few quiet days. ( you're active in your local environment group again.)

But here's the thing- I'm not ready to return back to therapy.

chihirochild · Aug 23, 2019 at 01:24 PM

Dear T,

This is pathetic, but I miss you.

-c

CartDown · Aug 23, 2019 at 01:51 PM

I guess it's not really an emergency if I just want to see you. You're lucky I'm not a complete asshole.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 23, 2019 at 03:50 PM

Dear T,
Today I really wish you allowed hugs. Because I really could have used one today. Though your standing up after my paying to shake my hand meant a lot.
Love you,
LT

LonesomeTonight · Aug 23, 2019 at 07:47 PM

Dear T,
F*** you for your email reply. All I wanted was for you to say you believed in me. Why is that so f***ing hard to say? I know you're a T and have to say all the "I want you to believe in yourself" BS, but couldn't you just say that you believe in me, that you have faith in me? I suspect the truth is that you don't, that you just think I'm a total screwup.

Whatever,
LT

nottrustin · Aug 23, 2019 at 09:09 PM

Crappy day and once again I was naive enough to think you would respond to my text asking for help this time. In the next couple of days I will get a text with the lame excuse that you never checked your phone. BS..... sadly I will allow this pain of being let down to continue to happen because U am a pathetic screw up who will keep taking the hits rather than quit.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 23, 2019 at 09:30 PM

Dear T,
FU times like a thousand for your most recent reply. I may need to terminate. FU. Damn it, why did I let myself get attached to a prick like you?
LT

*Beth* · Aug 23, 2019 at 09:51 PM

I can't believe that I have finally, finally met someone with whom I feel so safe. Could it finally be my turn? Maybe? I cannot help but trust you, and love you with all my heart.
-all of us

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Aug 22, 2019 at 03:54 AM #501 I wish I could go back in time eith u And I am 4 years old And you swoop in and rescue me from abuse Abuse that lasted 9 years , 9 years!! I used 2 pretend it never happened , like I convinced myself it didnt happen to me I wish u were there then ... I wish anyone would have been there ... anyone that would have cared enough to STOP IT __________________
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Aug 22, 2019 at 07:01 AM #503 Dear T, Do I talk to you today about the dream I had last night involving ex-MC? I'm not sure what it's about. Particularly the thing about his shoulders being bare. And the plants. Love, LT
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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 14,908 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,443 hugs given	Aug 22, 2019 at 07:04 AM #504 Intake T, Please don't freak out. Thank-you, MM __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Aug 22, 2019 at 05:08 PM #505 Thank you. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold
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CartDown Member Member Since Apr 2019 Location: United States Posts: 70 5 53 hugs given	Aug 22, 2019 at 05:22 PM #506 I leave your office feeling good and then I start wondering how therapy will end. The thought of never seeing you again scares the **** out of me.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 02:01 AM #508 Mmmeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh __________________
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,714 5	Aug 23, 2019 at 05:33 AM #509 I hope it is raining on every day of your holiday. I hope you are having such a ghastly time that you decide to never go on holiday again.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 09:08 AM #511 Dear T, Sorry I'm such a f***-up. Glad you can see me today, though I can only think you're like "FFS, LT, what now?" Love, LT
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 12:47 PM #512 SORRY WISH I COULD SEE u today . __________________
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 01:24 PM #514 Dear T, This is pathetic, but I miss you. -c
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CartDown Member Member Since Apr 2019 Location: United States Posts: 70 5 53 hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 01:51 PM #515 I guess it's not really an emergency if I just want to see you. You're lucky I'm not a complete asshole.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 03:50 PM #516 Dear T, Today I really wish you allowed hugs. Because I really could have used one today. Though your standing up after my paying to shake my hand meant a lot. Love you, LT
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,768 (SuperPoster!) 9 75k hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 09:30 PM #519 Dear T, FU times like a thousand for your most recent reply. I may need to terminate. FU. Damn it, why did I let myself get attached to a prick like you? LT
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Aug 23, 2019 at 09:51 PM #520 I can't believe that I have finally, finally met someone with whom I feel so safe. Could it finally be my turn? Maybe? I cannot help but trust you, and love you with all my heart. -all of us __________________
	Reply With Quote