Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

SlumberKitty · Aug 12, 2019, 01:51 PM

Dear T--I feel like you let me down in some way. Like you did your job with the risk assessment but you didn't seem to take my pain seriously. I'm all alone now and want to cry but I'm at work so that would be bad. Why couldn't you have shown me a bit of compassion?

SlumberKitty · Aug 12, 2019, 01:51 PM

Also, could you please get my name right? It's a small thing but obviously very personal.

SlumberKitty · Aug 12, 2019, 01:52 PM

And when I see you next week, I plan on telling you something that is a secret and painful and I don't want you to make it no big deal. Because it's a big deal to me.

Lemoncake · Aug 12, 2019, 04:42 PM

Dear R,

I'm not ready to come back.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 12, 2019, 04:42 PM

Dear T,
Not sure what's going on with me...I think the talk about disclosure/lack thereof may have triggered something?

Love,
LT

toomanycats · Aug 12, 2019, 06:42 PM

I cannot shake the feeling that I have worn you out and that you're close to taking email away from me. I really really really hope I'm wrong. I like to think you'd tell me if this was the case - that we'd talk about it first or something - that there'd be some warning. I've been emailing a lot because this topic is SO hard, and it's shaken up SO many feelings.

Today was so hard. I am scared about having already sent you an email. I hope it's ok. I kept it adult. I kept it not needy. In reality, I'm over here crying and desperately wishing you were here and feeling like you are SO far away and like you don't care anymore... but I know that's not true... just

a mess
but you have got to be tired of my mess...

I cannot. shake. this feeling. that you want to be done with me.
I hate this feeling.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 12, 2019, 07:40 PM

Thanks for the caring reply.

Love,
LT

NP_Complete · Aug 12, 2019, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Also, could you please get my name right? It's a small thing but obviously very personal.

Just tell her "actually I go by ...". It would drive me nuts if my therapist got my name wrong or spelled it wrong (my name has several ways to spell it). Sometimes he uses just my initials in emails (and once on the phone) and I'm still not sure how I feel about that. Your name is very personal. I don't think she will take offense if you correct her.

SheHulk07 · Aug 13, 2019, 03:23 AM

T, how the heck do I work this out with IOP and you when disclosing information about SH or SI? Do I tell them first then you? You first then them? Just you? Just them? Whoever I see first that day?

Possible trigger:

I would feel very stupid and crying wolf if I went in there tomorrow for the first time and said how bad my SH thoughts were tonight.

But you did say to look at it as this is what I need and they had a meeting specifically about getting me in this program. So I shouldn't feel guilty or worried about saying what I'm dealing with but I'm scared of a negative response like the last hospital.

04:20 AM

ExT I have put the money I used to spend on you into making my house feel safe for me. I think it is making a difference. I spent all that effort in trying to make you change your room to make it feel safe for me.
I still miss you.

Lonelyinmyheart · Aug 13, 2019, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captgut

Stop being so beautiful

I feel like this

CartDown · Aug 13, 2019, 06:51 AM

Thank you for talking me through another mini breakdown, you have no idea how much you helped me. The only problem is, your kindness just makes me want you more.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 13, 2019, 06:53 AM

Dear T,
I'm not sure what to talk to you about today. I'm not sure how to explain the feelings if I'm not certain where they came from. Clearly I was triggered by something. Hopefully we can figure out what it was together. Maybe the "steel trap" thing is part of it?
Love,
LT

SummerTime12 · Aug 13, 2019, 06:57 AM

I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I don’t know why I’ve been different lately, but I hope we can figure it out.

susannahsays · Aug 13, 2019, 11:25 AM

So are you laughing at me or what?

You probably aren't... you are on vacation, so I am probably safe.

SlumberKitty · Aug 13, 2019, 11:29 AM

Dear T--if I tell you I'm depressed will you take it seriously? Don't blow it off please, just because I'm "high functioning" or capable of making "positive choices" whilst depressed.

toomanycats · Aug 13, 2019, 11:39 AM

Hi
I'm not emailing you
I want you to have a break from me
And, besides... I feel like I should be alone with this

I can't focus. Or work. I should've called out, to be honest.
I am sad, and I don't know why or what about.
I want to sleep.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 13, 2019, 11:42 AM

Thank you for your email. I wasn't expecting a reply to that one.

susannahsays · Aug 13, 2019, 12:48 PM

I feel resentful that you've gone off on vacation this week of all weeks. I want to do something mean and childish to you, but I can't think of what that would be. Maybe push you into a pool fully clothed. Or pour a cooler of ice cold water on you. No... neither of those quite fit... I think I want to vandalize your office.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 13, 2019, 01:31 PM

Dear T,
Thanks for today's extra session. Some of the things you told me about how you're trying hard to have this relationship end well, to not have me repeat some bad relationships (like ex-MC) meant a lot to me. You're really trying. You're far from perfect, but you're trying. And I think that's what I needed to hear. That your choices in handling my therapy are an attempt to avoid leaving me hurt in the end. Not a rejection. I guess maybe it's sort of like the good-enough parent, in a sense?

Love you,
LT

LonesomeTonight · Aug 13, 2019, 01:48 PM

Dear T,
Also, what was up with the fish (marlins?) shirt today? Had very Hawaiian shirt vibes, and not in a good way. Like something you'd wear in Key West, not...where we are. Then again, I wasn't in my best attire today (need to do laundry).

Love,
LT

SlumberKitty · Aug 13, 2019, 02:02 PM

Dear T: I need you today. I don't know how I am going to make it until Monday. I suppose I must though. Hopefully the week will go by quickly.

susannahsays · Aug 13, 2019, 04:09 PM

Go jump in a lake and thanks for nothing!

CantExplain · Aug 13, 2019, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Dear T,
Also, what was up with the fish (marlins?) shirt today? Had very Hawaiian shirt vibes, and not in a good way. Like something you'd wear in Key West, not...where we are. Then again, I wasn't in my best attire today (need to do laundry).

Love,
LT

I remember an episode of WKRP when the theme was "Cincinnati: Surf City USA!"

Aug 14, 2019, 02:53 AM

It wasn't a great thing to do today, drive past your rooms. I haven't driven past your rooms for a week. It has just made me miss you more. I really want to drop in and ask you what it was I did so wrong that you never want to see me again.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Our community offers: No spam. No trolls. No social media connections.

Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLI

My Support Forums