Feelings fluctuate.

Getting us to the one a week session T asks me each Wednesday how I'm feeling and it now?

This week I said "it's getting better, the feelings of anger, abandonment are lessening"

I think in part because we worked out that T dropping an email to me in my missed session helps me. But still, I didnt want to disclose to T I was feeling better for fear of her letting go of me.

So i emailed T to tell her I don't like her asking me how I'm feeling now about my decision to go down to one a week.

She replied.... With this email.....

Dear *****

I can understand your anxiety about that. But if we don’t talk about it, does that take the anxiety away? Or does it become anxiety then that I don’t care, or that I’m assuming you’re okay and what if you’re not?

I don’t think there is only ever one answer to these things - I would expect them to change with time, and not just in one direction. I also don’t think that because you’re beginning to get used to it, it means that you don’t need me to email between sessions, or that maybe you don’t need to come at all. I understand it to mean that this week, you are feeling ok - or not - and that it’s something we need to keep talking about, because the more we talk about it, the easier it becomes to acknowledge the feelings and fantasies or fears.

I hope that helps.

it was where she said about "this is how you're feeling this week bit, that gave me reassurance that she knows never to put a full stop on us immediately there are signs of movement positively, because as we all know. Feelings come and go.

I find this response comforting.

I really like the email she sent. She writes really good emails.