a Year and a half of miss understanding

So much can be explored in this little email exchange.

It seems most people feel his response is harsh and punishing. That you should not talk about it anymore and just continue to suffer in silence sounds both cruel and absurd when it comes from him. It turns him into a punitive Bad Guy.
But he is not punishing you. He is reflecting you back to you. He is reflecting your self punishment back to you.
Is it disrespectful? It could be viewed that way.
It can also be viewed as being an expression of ultimate respect for your own self-sovereignty.
For him to take your words at face value only becomes problematic when the intention of those words was to communicate a different thing entirely. If your words were instead a cry for help and support and re-attachment (which they most likely were) then it could be claimed the appropriate response would be to help, support and be the initiator or reattachment.
Arguments could be made for it to be more appropriate to respond to the content of the words, and arguments could be made that it would be more appropriate to respond to the unstated intention of the words.
Ultimately, who is he to ascribe his own opposite intention to another person's words? Is it his responsibility to ascribe an intention or to take words at face value?
I think many therapists would take emailed words at face value, even when in a broader social context an alternative meaning is more likely.