Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

My boyfriend often does that too.
I've learned that he doesn't really care as long as there's food (as long as it isn't burnt or something I know he doesn't like) and that he really just doesn't care. Plus he has the habit of just putting it like it is, he doesn't mean it in a rude way if he says 'I don't give a ****'.

Maybe that might be what's going on? (And in that case, if you like to cook, just make what you enjoy girl! If making spaghetti sauce and all that is fun, go for that, if you like to make meatloaf, choose that.

I ****ing despise that notification @ thing.

I stopped doing anything particular with my leg hair and arm pits... my arm pits itch for some reason when I shave them and I sometimes shave my legs when I feel like it, but I don't care what other people think about seeing hairs on my legs... it's not unhygienic and it's a huge pain to shave every second day (waxing makes my hairs grow in really easily). and I already have someone who loves me, whether or not I look the prettiest at all times (which if I did not, I'd rather not have a partner than make myself look pretty for people I'd probably not enjoy being around anyways).

I guess it's the choice of words. If he said I don't care that's one thing but "I don't give a ****" feels so angry and like I did something wrong. He also said "why can't you just make a decision" I said well I won't be eating it so I thought I would ask what you prefer.

**** him. I'm going to take myself out to dinner at the Indian food place I like.

I quit shaving any part of me after I came out - I considered it a perk of being a lesbian.

Yeah, that is a much different tone, and telling you why can't you just make a decision? Ugh. Enjoy the Indian food!

Who is doing it to you? This sounds like harassment.

Well, exactly. Liberace. But without sequins. Just whats the word undertow?

d@mn I missed the memo!! lol

I would go with not at all, so a 1?
I have blonde, fine leg hair only on the front of my thighs. I usually just leave that alone.
The back of my thighs + my calves scream Italian hair.
My body is definitely confused.

Ugh, Clay Aiken.
Now I can't get, "If I was invisible, I would just watch you in your room" out of my head.
I don't think creepier lyrics have ever been written, although I don't think he actually wrote them.

You should definitely have your genes scanned! That sounds like a valuable contribution to science.

Eta - so Clay can only be in a girls room if he were invisible? Thats... probably true.

It was the 70's - before lipstick power lesbians and the whole alphabet soup of identity. The lavender menace. A lot of bad music, awful poetry, and rainbow suspenders.
I still listen to some of the music. Lavender Jane Loves Women.

Lesbian Activism from 1970s to the Present | Feminist Collections | Barnard Center for Research on Women | BCRW Archives

I wish i had been as strong as you were back when I started stifling my real self and conforming instead to family and societal pressures and not ended up married to a jackass as a result.

Then again I did get a son I love with my whole heart out of the whole deal so... there is always that to be thankful for.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself as usual because that's what I do instead of taking action on my own behalf. I know, I know, I know.

I am a coward.

Out on my walk it is super-duper nice outside, almost cool actually, just took this pic of the park I walk through every morning, very green from recent rain:

I thought you only had artificial turf there!

Nope! During monsoon this place comes alive with green stuff!!

H semi-apologized by saying "I feel better now so 'make whatever you want, sweetheart.' Is that better?"

No, it's not, it's too little too late, you're an *** and you're also SOL I'm going out for dinner alone. But do I say that? No. I start crying and say instead "it's ok, I get it."

I want to go live in a cave somewheres.

I don't really see it as that I was strong or that other choices are weak. I just was unwilling to be unhappy because of other people's ideas about who I should be or what they thought I should do. I found it easier to make my own choices and live with the consequences (good and bad) rather than being unhappy because I was living a life someone else chose for me. Surviving disapproval was not nearly as hard for me as living a life I didn't actively choose to live would be for me.
I don't think it is too late to start taking responsibility for one's choices and making different ones.

Events of the last few days have me in a very foul mood.

HUGS Atisketatasket HUGS

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn Out on my walk it is super-duper nice outside, almost cool actually, just took this pic of the park I walk through every morning, very green from recent rain:

That really is beautiful, Artie!

Hi Couchies! It's donut Friday at work today. I texted the GM to ask him if he would like me to pick them up today or if he was planning on getting them. He got them so yay, free donuts. If he wanted me to pick them up I would have done it after my walk. At least I got my walk in today. I feel good about that.

I'm tired today Couchies, even though I went to bed early. I got up at my normal 4:30ish time though so I didn't sleep in. I did lay on the floor for a little bit watching the news trying to wake up. I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. I still have suicidal thoughts but they are much less intense and way more manageable. I don't feel crises-y at all. Of course tonight I go see T. I couldn't have had my appointment a couple of days ago when I was in crises. But at least I get to see her.