Couch 202: The Grande Unicorn Frappuccino couch.

It’s less focused than that—it’s more like all relationships he has are problematic on one end or the other or both. Or maybe are perceived to be such.

But yeah, the inspiration is partly from 2ex.

The only operas I have seen are Madama Butterfly and Julius Caesar. Opera and modern art are my two big cultural blind spots.

I posted the link to an opera with english subtitles.
And here is a general synopsis
Rigoletto | opera by Verdi | Britannica.com

I used to love going to the opera until my "2ex" ruined it by making a total drunken *** of himself at one. I was definitely the hoi polloi, not one of those snooty old people that saw it as a social occasion. I don't think I've seen Rigoletto before, just read the synopsis, so I'll cede to Stopdog's opinion on it.

I'm easily smarter than my therapist. She is sharp, sharp enough for me to work with. She's also intellectually curious.

I've had T's in the past that were so not-smart that I couldn't work with them because I didn't respect them at a fundamental level. This was when I was much younger. Maybe I've come to appreciate other types of knowledge more as I've grown older.

My T is, I think, wise in a way I am not (yet). I definitely wouldn't let her do my taxes but I would let her decide what to do if I were incapacitated in a hospital bed and unable to make my own decisions. She knows me in a way that no one in my family ever could.

They do give you credit by deigning to let you provide for their every need.

Love opera! What's not to love: stirring music, ridiculous plots, total suspension of disbelief for 3 hours! Rigoletto is definitely repulsive looking and in intent. He reminds me a bit of Caliban, the monster of The Tempest:

and then in dreaming,
The clouds me thought would open, and show riches
Ready to drop upon me, that when I waked
I cried to dream again.


"his life just not going like it was supposed to" seems a bit of an understatement for both Caliban and Rigoletto!

Definitely not for Caliban. Obviously I don’t know Rigoletto.

But there’s life not going like it’s supposed to and then making a huge drama out of that instead of adapting. That’s what I want my character to be doing.

Really angry at the school system I got a call from the youth support officer about my D s absences and it was obvious she hadn't read my daughters file or even looked at her current time table. As soon as I mentioned all the interventions like the OT and the psych this woman jumped in and offered an alternative program which wouldn't work as my D would not have her support of her friends. I am sick of the school system saying they can't put support structures in place because the teachers have huge student loads. These are the seniors and I know the teachers only teach the seniors as a lot of kids leave in year 10

As I recall, the opera is about a ruthless and vindictive man who is somewhat redeemed by his genuine love for his daughter.

Sounds like the plot of Smash Palace.
Smash Palace - Wikipedia

Cats are very choosy about their staff.

Like Dr Strange when he loses the fine motor control over his hands and goes totally drama queen. He'll never be a brain surgeon again but it doesn't even occur to him to do research or become a consultant or teach at medical school. Oh no. His life is over man!

But no one could call Dr Strange a "regular guy".

I woke up today feeling like I don’t care at all about my work. My father PMed me on Facebook (because he doesn’t live just 2 minutes away or anything. )
Dad: Did you go see the new people yesterday?
Me: Yes.
Dad: Do they like you and do you like them?
Me: Yes they like me. I don’t care as long as I get paid each week.

That is the first time I said “I don’t care” so easily when it comes to my work. It really must be time to move on from this. I think for me it’s more I enjoy the rush and hustle and bustle and not the actual job itself.

The good thing is that with these people, I will make good money and be able to afford to take a few classes to see if anything peeks my interest. You see, I don’t want to do this anymore but I have no vision of what I want to do. The ONE thing I know I DON’T want to do is sit behind a desk.

I want to tell T I'm avoiding her because I'm scared of her but the best way to do that is in person, which is difficult with the avoiding.

I am so upset. My university wouldn't give me an on campus parking permit, only a stupid park and ride - which I have to pay $300 for. That's PER SEMESTER. And I have no choice but to pay this $300 to ride the ****ing bus because the housing shortage from the hurricane last year has driven prices up and made it too expensive for me to get a one bedroom in town (I have had two horrible roommates in a row and am not looking for a third).

So upset and disappointed. I'd so been looking forward to getting an on campus permit as an upperclassman, and it was even more important now since my Fall classes are early and my house is now half an hour away. I registered for the permit as early as I could, but since I didn't know where I would be living back in April, I've been screwed.

So bitter. Why couldn't it be enough that I was willing to pay the exorbitant price of $450/semester? I hate my school, I hate this town, I hate my life, I want to go home.

Hi Couchies, I'm still depressed this morning. A coworker sent me a lovely, inspiring verse this morning on email which was nice. I hugged her and she said she hoped it helped as she can tell I've been depressed (dang! I'm not good at hiding things). Yesterday the CEO/GM asked me how my depression was doing too. WTH? I didn't tell these people I'm depressed. Sometimes working for a small company can be bad. But at least most of the day I can stay in my office and be uninterrupted. I think being depressed is my new normal. I see my Pdoc on Monday but I don't necessarily want to add another medication, so I don't know how much I'm really going to tell him. I take too many medications already--six psych medications and two non-psych medications, plus a probiotic. I just really don't want another medication. I don't want to feel depressed either though. So I guess I need to weigh that in my head. HUGS to anyone who wants one. Kit

My therapist gave me the book "Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Herman to read. Has anyone here read it?

I have read it. I found Herman to be less offensive towards clients than most of those people

Yes, I've read it. I thought it was quite good.

Maybe a medication switch would be an option, SK. Could be something isn't really working well. In your place, I think I would be honest and see what he recommends - if he's the type who won't force the issue. My psychiatrist usually just presents med changes as options - but I know not all psychiatrists are like that. Anyway, it really sounds like your meds haven't been working well for you lately for your depression w/psychotic features (forgive me if I am getting the dx wrong). I mean, seems like if you felt any worse, you might be a danger to yourself? C and I started noticing over the past year that we were having episodes of persistent suicidal ideation and severe depression. Eventually, we came to the very upsetting conclusion that our Cymbalta had stopped working after 14 years. This has been confirmed because (following extended withdrawal), we don't feel any worse being off it (haven't really found a good replacement yet). Maybe what has worked in the past for you has stopped working. That would not be unusual.

Anyway, just seems like if you're on six meds, you shouldn't be feeling suicidal or experiencing the sorts of psychosis related thoughts like with the battery thing. I am not anti-medication by any means - I need my meds to function - but there is a price to pay for each med, sometimes in the short term, sometimes in the long term, and oftentimes in both. If your psychiatrist thinks the solution to how you're feeling is to add another medication to the ones you are already taking that are not helping, I would really consider consulting another psychiatrist for a second opinion.

I have looked at that book, but I can't remember which one it is among the others I have looked at. I think the therapist has it on her shelf, too.

Thanks @susannahsays Maybe you are right. I don't gain anything by holding something back from my psychiatrist. Last change he made was to increase the anti-psychotic but he said we could add something too if we needed to. I feel like I need my medications to live but I also feel like I want to wean off of all of them and start from scratch and see if there is something out there that would work better than all of these combined. But I don't know how seriously bad of a position that would put me in. I too have a history of my medication quitting working. My main antidepressant is Trintellix and I think I have been on that for maybe six years at the highest dose. It's possible the Trintellix just isn't working any longer, and I'm unable to go up anymore on the dose. It's hard to know what to do but he's the doctor and if I don't tell him everything I'm going through then he can't make the best informed choice as to what medications would work the best. I do trust him. Oh yeah, not looking forward to telling him about the battery thing, or about my thoughts getting hijacked. But I suppose he needs to know. I see my T afterwards so if I am not in a good space after seeing PDOC at least I can see T and hopefully she can help. I also got a more regular schedule with T for the next month and a half, so that may help too. Thanks for your caring reply. HUGS Kit

The therapist is away this week. I am angry at her for several reasons, none of them just. One reason I am angry is BECAUSE I miss her. This is a very stressful time for me as I am moving, school is about to start back up, I'm under a lot of financial stress, and I have no other support in this wretched town. I was hoping I could get my sister to visit me, but no luck. I feel all alone, and I'm peeved that she's not around when I need her.

Just feel so stressed. Moving is a nightmare. Packing everything up is never fun. Then I have to pay movers because I have a washer and dryer, plus other heavy stuff. I'd consider selling anything I couldn't manage on my own, but I am not about to give up my washer and dryer. Got a quote from a moving company and it was $600 - and they only offered a flat rate. Last time I moved, it was $350, and that was for me AND my roommate at the time. Granted, we were moving close by, but I did not expect the price to skyrocket for a move 13 miles away. And I've already had to plunk down a $700 deposit, first month's rent, and the pet fee for my new place. AND I had to switch electric companies and the new one couldn't find a record of me paying utilities and made me pay a $375 deposit. That seemed really high. She said it was based on usage for my address. My new place is part of a triplex, and is maybe 700 sq. ft. There's no way the electric bill costs $375/month. I think there's been a mistake somewhere. Oh, AND Spectrum sent a letter notifying me the promotional period pricing was over for my internet and increased the cost by $21 to $65.99, then sent me a letter trying to get me to buy cable and claiming they don't draw customers in with promotional prices. What a slap in the face. That's more than I've been paying for my electric bill.

SK, in my experience, you don't have to wean off existing meds completely before starting the new ones. For example, when my psychiatrist started weaning me off the Cymbalta, she started me on Trintellix. The dose was dependent on how much Cymbalta I was taking at the time. While Trintellix doesn't really work for me, I do think it made the withdrawal from Cymbalta less severe (it was still terrible because I went down too fast and SNRIs are notorious for bad withdrawals, but it would have been worse without a replacement). So if your psychiatrist wanted to switch you to something else, it would probably be safer and less disruptive mood wise to decrease your Trintellix or other medication while adding something else at a small dose. This would give you an extra med temporarily, but just until you tapered off of one med and onto the other. Or, some meds don't even require that and you can just switch. But yeah, I would be honest. That's great that you are on a more regular schedule with your therapist for the next month and a half - I hope it helps!

P.S. Also, try not to be afraid to question your psychiatrist or ask if this thing or that thing might be helpful. I have done this. I am not bossing the psychiatrist around and telling them what to prescribe me - I am just wondering if something might be a good idea for me. For example, C asked the psychiatrist if wellbutrin might help us because it works well for our sister. She said she didn't think it would be a good fit because it has stimulant properties and we have bad anxiety. It was still beneficial for C to ask the question so we aren't now wondering why she doesn't try this commonly prescribed med when we've tried so many others and they haven't worked.

I feel so much better knowing I don’t have to deal with Info today.