I have always had a sense that T is completely cut off from feelings of anxiety.

I told her this and she replied - "do you want the real answer or the professional answer?"

With that she begun to tell me, she said "I had a mother who had extreme, and I mean extreme anxiety, who I had to look after. So I guess I went the other way and never go there. Doesn't mean I never do, but very rarely"

I had to sit with that for a moment as she never in all these years has shared such a big thing from her personal life.

She finished with "so no, my relationship with my mother wasn't good"

I guess whrn people say the relationship isn't real don't understand that whrn 2 people meet on any terms, for a lengh of time, a getting to know the other happens anyways.

How else would I have hit on something so pivotal about her without having known.

Words in the room are not the only thing.

[unaluna]

Thats interesting. Thing is, yeah, my mother was like that too. You know how in movies you see the flood pouring in, then they comically reverse it? Thats kinda what it feels like the flood of anxiety was never about me, i had no control, no input, no effect. Just boom, then gone. So it became a habit of my false self, but my true self was untouched.

[Omers]

My T said a few sessions ago that he is my T, that is his job AND we have a relationship. The boundaries of the relationship are guided by his job BUT the relationship is real.

I am fortunate that my T is very open with me about his personal life in ways that help us work better together.

Originally Posted by Omers

I am fortunate that my T is very open with me about his personal life in ways that help us work better together.

I don't see it as fortunate or unfortunate thing. Its not essential to my therapy. Just more curiosity from me more than anything.

But my point was more about what happens between two people in a shared space.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Relationships, even professional ones, change and evolve with time. I honestly can't think of any long-term relationship (personal or professional) that has remained static.

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Relationships, even professional ones, change and evolve with time. I honestly can't think of any long-term relationship (personal or professional) that has remained static.

Yeah. It's more about 'the other' being known.

[Lrad123]

Originally Posted by The mouse

Words in the room are not the only thing.

You can say that again. It’s a difficult thing to explain to someone who doesn’t share the experience.