I've recently decided to re-embark into my subconscious in an attempt to discover some semblance of an identity and become a more functional human. So I went to therapy. Seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

My problem is that, when I originally signed up for therapy, I had a specific goal in mind. I was planning to move in with two friends in a few months, and I wanted to ask the therapist how I can express my "true self" more freely in such a way that it doesn't psychologically damage my housemates. But then, in that liminal period between having decided to better myself and the actual therapy session, I found out one of my friends is actually a twat, and now I don't want to move in with them.

I still have the general desire to be able to express my "love" for humanity in a healthy way, mostly to avoid incarceration or ostracism. But I feel the path isn't clear any longer, and I'm not sure how to get the most out of therapy if I don't really know what I want.

In short, how does one prepare for a therapy session in order to get the most out of it? Because I really don't want to spend money for a 50 minute session of staring blankly at my therapist like, "I had all these ideas I wanted to share at you, but then I heard this dope song on the way here and forgot all of it."

To understand how your last sentence may hold the gold is the way to get the best out of therapy.

[divine1966]

I think your goal of expressing yourself freely yet not damaging your friends or whoever else is a valid goal. I’d also ask for help with proper diagnosis. Not sure how accurate is your self diagnosis

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think your goal of expressing yourself freely yet not damaging your friends or whoever else is a valid goal. I’d also ask for help with proper diagnosis. Not sure how accurate is your self diagnosis

I do too. I just don't know how to put it into practice since I've lost the concrete goal. Now it's mere abstractions and "what ifs," which seems a bit like mental masturbation to me.

Maybe I need to befriend someone else. You know, for science.

Brace yourselves, future friends.

[SlumberKitty]

I had a good 10 year relationship with former T (professional relationship not inappropriate). I took my time opening up and trusting her and revealed some of the most painful stuff slowly, otherwise I would get overwhelmed. The best therapy sessions were the ones where I wasn't overwhelmed and thus was able to be my authentic self. But also the ones where she pushed me a little bit (not too much) where I was a tad uncomfortable but not threatened. With current T, the best sessions have been the recent ones. We are just about to pass the one year mark and she recently remarked that she was starting to "get" me. I'm opening up more and trusting her more and I feel like I'm able to be "myself" with her. It's a good feeling.

[Rive.]

I don't think it matters whether you move in with them or not. It still seems worthwhile to work on being authentic in any of your relationships. Seems a valid facet to work on.

It's also up to you to fill the session: sitting in silence vs. speaking out; trying to please the therapist and/or change them vs. trying to be more authentic and changing yourself; relying on the therapist to 'save you' vs. doing the (hard) work; overemphasis on your relationship with the therapist (trying to get them to like you, be their favourite client etc.) vs. having a goal and working towards it. And so on.

As far as forgetting things, write them down as they come to you, then bring that list in. I otherwise always forget -- I get it. I agree with the others that you could find it helpful for expressing yourself authentically regardless of moving in with the others. Oh, one more tip -- be honest. Sure, it'll take time and trust to get into more difficult issues, but try to be honest as you go.

[stopdog]

Keep your boundaries clear, don't let a therapist run roughshod over you, and don't bet more than you are willing to lose when dealing with one of those people

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

The best therapy sessions were the ones where I wasn't overwhelmed and thus was able to be my authentic self. But also the ones where she pushed me a little bit (not too much) where I was a tad uncomfortable but not threatened.

Yeah, I pretty much dumped some of my most traumatic experiences on her in the first session. My problem is that I don't get affected, at least not that I'm aware of. So I'm not sure talking about these things that don't bother me is going to help all that much.

Of course, my insensibility poses problems for the formation of healthy relationships, and that's the main reason I'm going. I'm just not sure what, if anything, can be done to address it.

Originally Posted by Rive.

...trying to please the therapist and/or change them vs. trying to be more authentic and changing yourself...

Originally Posted by Innerzone

As far as forgetting things, write them down as they come to you, then bring that list in.

Well, I won't have to worry about wanting to please any therapists, but trying to be my "authentic self" might be a bit of an issue.

Yeah, I've thought about getting a journal, and I think that could help with therapy. Also, the main reason I come here is that I can figure out a way to articulate these things and see if anyone has any idea what the hell I'm talking about.

Originally Posted by stopdog

Keep your boundaries clear, don't let a therapist run roughshod over you, and don't bet more than you are willing to lose when dealing with one of those people

Has someone hurt you? Would you like a hug?

[divine1966]

I don’t write things down but it might be a good idea. Last two times when I made appts (I see my t infrequently) I had stuff on my mind but by the time it had an appt it didn’t bother me no more and I forgot what was on my mind so we were talking about nothing. What a waste.

I almost wonder if you could save some things you share on here and share with t

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don’t write things down but it might be a good idea. Last two times when I made appts (I see my t infrequently) I had stuff on my mind but by the time it had an appt it didn’t bother me no more and I forgot what was on my mind so we were talking about nothing. What a waste.

I almost wonder if you could save some things you share on here and share with t

I don't see why you couldn't share posts on here with your therapist. Probably just have the most relevant posts ready to go on your phone and be able to summarize them. I wouldn't be emailing them to my therapist like, "Here's your reading material for our next session." That wouldn't go over so well.

For me, I think I'll still benefit more if I can find a specific goal. It isn't that general "self-improvement" or "being more authentic" are invalid issues, but that I don't really know how to achieve that. It's kinda like getting healthy (physically). It might be my overall goal to be healthy, but that's achieved through a number of smaller, concrete goals, such as: eat foods X, Y and Z; do A and B exercises 20 minutes daily; take # iron pills before bedtime so I'm no longer a weary vampire with icicles for fingers. All of these are clear, tangible goals that I can do on a daily basis and record in order to observe improvement.

So how do I create the same concrete goals for the overall goal of being authentic? More importantly, how do I do this the psychopathic way? Because I've tried the normal people way, and it just doesn't work.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by theoretical

I don't see why you couldn't share posts on here with your therapist. Probably just have the most relevant posts ready to go on your phone and be able to summarize them. I wouldn't be emailing them to my therapist like, "Here's your reading material for our next session." That wouldn't go over so well.

For me, I think I'll still benefit more if I can find a specific goal. It isn't that general "self-improvement" or "being more authentic" are invalid issues, but that I don't really know how to achieve that. It's kinda like getting healthy (physically). It might be my overall goal to be healthy, but that's achieved through a number of smaller, concrete goals, such as: eat foods X, Y and Z; do A and B exercises 20 minutes daily; take # iron pills before bedtime so I'm no longer a weary vampire with icicles for fingers. All of these are clear, tangible goals that I can do on a daily basis and record in order to observe improvement.

So how do I create the same concrete goals for the overall goal of being authentic? More importantly, how do I do this the psychopathic way? Because I've tried the normal people way, and it just doesn't work.

I almost never make my own threads or posts about myself so that wouldn’t work for me.

Why don’t you ask therapist to help you with concrete goals? Well to find out how to do it in psychopathic ways you might want to ask other psychopaths how they do?

Originally Posted by divine1966

Why don’t you ask therapist to help you with concrete goals? Well to find out how to do it in psychopathic ways you might want to ask other psychopaths how they do?

That's my plan for the next therapy session. Unless she has a better idea.

And I'm trying. They're ~1% of the population, and a lot of them are either in prison or politics. Finding one in the wild is like finding a unicorn or a male INFJ.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by theoretical

And I'm trying. They're ~1% of the population, and a lot of them are either in prison or politics. Finding one in the wild is like finding a unicorn or a male INFJ.

My husband is male INFJ - so it is possible.