[JustExisting]

I want to know if other people experience something like this.

So I remember a lot about my life. The details of events, but the memories are devoid of feelings. Especially traumatic memories. I can think about something traumatic that happened to me and it doesnt seem that consequential to me.

But then when I tell my T the story all the feelings suddenly come to the surface. I find myself caught off guard, and stunned by my reaction to telling a story that feels like nothing to think about.

I am at a point now that I can anticipate this happening by just THINKING about what it will be like to tell him something, and that gives me a clue as to what it will feel like to actually tell him. But it is always more intense that I could have anticipated in the moment.


Does anyone else experience this? and do you have any thoughts about it? an explanation, or maybe tips on how to deal with it. It can be overwhelming when it happens.

I am going to be explaining this experience to T in our next session and I'm not sure if this is like a thing that happens to a lot of people or if its just me.

Yes this is normal. The difference between the phantasy and the reality is feeling.
I can have all the conversations I like in my head with T, but it's in the telling where the truth lies

[SlumberKitty]

Yes, I can recount experiences I have been through without any emotion. But then when I go to tell T, I will find myself getting teary-eyed. I don't full on cry, but more emotion comes up than I anticipate. A few times I have been flooded with emotion and I have found that to be very difficult.

[LostOnTheTrail]

I can also relate to this. Several months ago, R introduced me to the concept/theory of Transactional Analysis.

I'd heard the words in a song, but wasn't sure of the actual meaning. She informs me it's difficult to have a memory without the emotion attached. I suppose it becomes harder when we're in their presence, because hopefully that is validating.

'...OK, this is how I'm actually feeling. Wow.'

[kaleidoscopeheart]

Yup. Normal. My T has even brought that feeling up several times and encourages eye contact because it makes that real-ness even more intense. Some days that is helpful, some days I stare at the wall for the whole session.

[coolibrarian]

Yes, this happens to me. If I SAY something, it becomes "realer." If I WRITE something, it becomes "realer." Sometimes, when I know I will grow by revealing whatever the something is, I write it down, then read it to T. Sometimes I can look her in the eye, while other times I cannot.