I wanted to talk about this today with T.

I'm as impatient as hell and it drives me crazy.

As T was thinking I told her to hurry up! 😂

Anyways. It was a productive discussion to have and gave me some insight into my impatience.

[divine1966]

Care to share her suggestions? I am extremely impatient (outside of work where I have to practice patience). My t suggested meditation and I hate it. Nothing works

Well. Its history specific. But, I guest the feelings are the same for everyone.

We, talked about my never having got enough. So I'm impatient to get whatever it is before it's taken.
. Of course that's not logical for me today, but it's not conscious material.
. She asked do I eat fast? I repield that I do. I gulp drinks too.
. Its about not ever having felt I was entitled, even though of course I was/am.

Talked about my brother, my adoptive mothers chosen one. How I had to sit and watch him getting it all and there never being room for me.

It's almost like in those moments, say when I'm in a shop and the person being served is taking their time (anger in me because it's like sitting witnessing my b'other' at the front of the queue)

Also that the person taking their time feels they're entitled too (I could never do that)I'm angry that they are at peace with their entitlement.

As we talked I could feel the anger, Anger I never feel in session because to me it feels like the 'other' has one.

Tieing all those feelings together and the result for me is impatience in the here and now. It's like this early feelings of 'not enough, what is there - food on a plate - might be taken away. And having to stand at the back of the love queue, watching someone else getting it and knowing they're entitled to it

This all fit for me.
. Maybe some of those feelings will fit for you. I don't know.

But yeah, you can't yoga these, things away. To me that's too much like being told to go play quietly, there's a good girl.