Quit Therapy & Now Regretting It

I've been seeing my therapist for a couple of months and I do really like him. However my own paranoia can't get passed the fact that I think he doesn't like me, he is bored of me and wants rid of me. I get it in to my head he finds me frustrating and annoying. He never disagrees when I say anything negative about myself. But he is also patient and constantly reassures me he won't abandon me.
I went to see him on Friday and came out feeling really disappointed and like the session was a waste of time. I felt like he was trying to get me out of his office as quick as possible. So on Sunday I sent him an email telling him I was quitting. Part of our therapy agreement was that if I was to end therapy then it had to be discussed in sessions so I was a bit surprised and hurt when I got an email back just saying 'ok no worries, thanks for letting me know.' It seemed to confirm my thoughts that he didn't actually care about me.
But now I'm beginning to regret quitting and don't know what to do. Do I email him again and say actually I don't want to quit or do I just try to walk away and not contact him again? I'm so confused.

The only positive I see in your post is that he is patient. But how hard is that, since he is being paid to sit there.

The rest seems to indicate he is an a-hole.

Saying he will not abandon you is a red flag.

I see nothing to be gained by agreeing to discuss quitting in session.

He took you at your word when you said you were quitting. The distinction is that he did not abandon you - you quit.

IF you want to go back, you could email him explaining your 'I quit' email, as you did here in your post.

In the future, it would be preferable to discuss such ambivalence face to face (e.g. I feel X..). Direct communication minimises such 'perilous' repercussions. As you saw, some Ts when told 'I quit', will not chase clients up - especially if you were a client for only a couple of months.

Since you recognize that this is related to your paranoia and you regret quitting, I would email him back and tell him what happened. Could you talk you him about him not disagreeing when you say something negative about yourself? Very rarely will my Ts disagree with me but rather they start asking why I feel that way and we explore that. Disagreeing with me doesnt really help me feel better; it did in the beginning but nothing more than the short term

I'd feel kind of hurt by that response "Ok no worries, thanks for letting me know" I know that T's aren't supposed to try to change your mind or keep you in therapy if you don't want to, but since part of the agreement was that ending sessions needed to be done in session, I'm surprised the response wasn't "Okay, I understand that you want to quit, I think it would be helpful to come in and talk about it. I'll plan to see you on x day at x time." Something like that. Of course, it could be my own perception of my T not caring right now that is coloring my response but it just doesn't seem even like a professional way to end things. No "if you change your mind I'll be happy to see you again." Something. Sorry that must have sucked for you. HUGS Kit.

What would you think about emailing him and telling him that you're having second thoughts, are confused, and would it be OK if you came in sometime to talk about it? Your regular appointment, if that is still available, or another if he has already booked it to somebody else.

He can say yes or no. If he says no, you can try another therapist. He probably won't say no, but I agree he took you at your word. In many ways I find that positive, not telling you what to do.

People DO change their minds in life. It IS therapy after all, I would think he would understand that. But, if he doesn't, you can try another therapist and if he is that rigid, maybe your decision to quit was a good one after all. Won't know for sure unless you ask.

I think quitting on impulse is a really common therapy happening. I’d ask for another appointment and explain why you feel you had to leave. I can’t even count how many times I’ve quit therapy during difficult work and then asked to come back.

My therapist always reacted ambivalently when I quit but I suspect she knew I’d always return. You’ve only been in therapy a few months, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your therapist is expecting you to come back too.

I’m quite sensible in my real life relationships but I’ve both canceled therapy sessions and quit impulsively multiple times. My T has always been very welcoming and nonjudgmental about this. He has also said I could leave and come back and he’d still be there. I like the idea of emailing him and saying you are a bit confused about how you’re feeling about therapy and would like to talk about it. Not sure what kind of therapy you’re doing but in my therapy (psychodynamic) it would be ok to talk about how I think my T perceives me. It might take a while to really believe he doesn’t find you boring annoying, etc. Give it some time.

Maybe you can call him and tell him that you changed your mind and would like to come back. When you see him, you could let him know that you got angry with him and didn't feel like seeing him again. You could say, "When I speak negatively about myself, you tend not to say anything. When you don't say anything, I feel hurt because it makes me feel like you agree with my negative statements." How does that sound?

Maybe he is not the right T for you? Could you try another option? I think their feelings to get a bit hurt when someone quits out of the blue, and they follow a “ script”. .

That would be my T. He does not chase and he would give a generic socially acceptable answer like your T did.