[pegasus]

Yeah, that's right! My T is a %#@&#! arsehole!

No doubt I'll delete this in a minute but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

[Perna]

I'll go with ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Hope T comes around to realizing and correcting it!

[pegasus]

He said to me, "Oh, you didn't used to make sense but you make perfect sense to me now!"

Heck! I have a mental health problem! Hello T! I see you because I have problems! I'm stupid!

Grumble, grumble, moan and groan.

[Perna]

Okay, now you have me confused? That was a good compliment; he use to not understand and now he does and he's crediting you with getting healthier and being able to converse better while he, at the same time, has worked hard to understand you better. You all are making progress? And that's bad, why?

[pegasus]

That was a compliment?

"You didn't used to talk sense!"

"But you do talk perfect sense to me now!"

Perna, if you can point out where the compliment is it would help me because I don't see it.

As far as I can see, I didn't and still don't talk sense because I have problems and that's why I see T. I haven't been seeing T for any other reason than that.

I'm confused too.

[pegasus]

[Perna]

Okay, how about "your leg use to be broken but I can see where it is healing nicely now". Would you take offense that your leg use to be broken?

How about, you use to be angry all the time but now you are often really pleasant to be around.

It's an observation. He use to not understand you and now he does. That goes both ways; you use to not make sense but now you appear to! You are learning to talk sense! Your negative condition is not permanent, we just need to learn through therapy what we weren't taught by our parents/surroundings growing up! You had really crummy teachers and now you have a better school with better teachers!

[pegasus]

Oh!

Gosh, has T spent the last 6 years not understanding me! And have I spent 6 years talking a load of crap!

And now it's 'perfect' sense!

Thanks Perna! At least you have got me laughing!

[Mouse_]

I can see how that would sting! ...but if your T has been with you for the past 6yrs surely there's been "good" connections also? this will just turn out to be one of those things you both get to work through and feel even more connected afterwards...But I maybe wrong.

[Perna]

I don't think it's been the whole six years and I think you have gradually gotten so you and he understand one another better. First graders don't know a whole lot of math but sixth graders know fractions, etc.

I can't see how he'd "tell" you any other way? It could have been a "left-handed" compliment but I think it was sincere. My stepmother once said to me, "You sound so sweet when you're talking on the phone!" -- that I took as a left-handed compliment, that I wasn't so sweet when I wasn't on the phone :-) but I've come to understand that I was "especially" sweet when talking on the phone, that my phone voice was just "different," not that my unphone voice was bad or anything.

I think your T was just "surprised" and rushed his comment without being able to think it through :-) My T told me I was "kind but critical" and, of course, I've always focused on that "critical" and even though that goes two ways, I can make very good decisions, my "critical thinking" is excellent, I still often only see my critical/judgmental side :-( Doesn't matter either that she said it over 5 years ago and I've grown/changed since then either.

Don't focus on stuff you feel badly about, it will only become more engrained! Focus on the other half; he understands you better now so you're making progress?

[pegasus]

Me and T usually do get on well, but every now and then we have a fight.

Last time we fell out I ended up going to bed for the day and then I rang someone who said, "Family members fall out..."

We fell out last Christmas as well.

I'm not making sense at all now!

[Perna]

No, you're making excellent sense :-) despite yourself and maybe showing you have a seasonal "tradition"/pattern of fighting so you don't have to miss him so much over the holidays?

[pegasus]

Oh! YOU are making sense!

When I went to see him today I gave him several gifts which he really loved. I could tell how much he enjoyed that.

But then, the session was very difficult and awkward and we both got a bit grumpy, of course I love him to bits and he promised to see me same time next week. But he does understand how difficult Christmas is for me.

Infact eeyore told him to shut up at one point!

Yes, you are making perfect sense to me Perna. Thank you.

[Perna]

And you to me :-) See, works both ways.

I tell my T to shut up sometimes. Sometimes you just have to.

[nothemama8]

if we don't tell our T's how are they ever going to learn how to help us and others?

[pegasus]

Yeah, we had a tough session, and Christmas stress too.

We talked a bit about the job thing and I had told him that I'd had a headache for 2 days but the headache was ok in therapy.

Well T kept going on about it so I suddenly got a headache and said to T, 'My headache's come back, thanks for that!'

And he replied, 'Your welcome!'

%#@&#! %#@&#! %#@&#!!

Then he kept saying how much he liked the feisty angry part of me!

So, yeah, bad day. I guess!