[Folding]

For those of you that have changed therapists, did you have to terminate with one before meeting with any others?

[maybeblue]

I've done it both ways. Honestly, if you can afford it and/or if you feel like you need consistent support I wouldn't. I also wouldn't mention to the potential new therapists that I hadn't terminated with the old one yet. What I usually say if they ask for a release of information to the old therapist is that I don't really like a lot of releases out there but I'd be glad to sign one after I was sure this relationship was going to work Then they probably won't ever ask again. Truthfully, I've seen a couple of them at once several times. Insurance won't let you do that usually so in that case I have used insurance for one and self-pay the other one. The reason I've done that is when I feel like I need a specialist in some area. Some therapists are fine with that. Some get weird. I mostly don't ask.

[Xynesthesia2]

No, and there was a time I juggled two in parallel. I would not see a T who determined what I can or cannot do outside of my sessions with them.

[LonesomeTonight]

When switching from my ex-T to my current T, I had already made the appointment with now-current T when I told ex-T I wanted a break to see a different T for a few months, possibly longer-term. I told her this at the end of the session and that if I opted to go longer-term, I'd come back for an actual termination session. Which I never actually did, as I didn't feel the need for it (I suppose it was an abrupt end after 6 years though...). When I recently briefly terminated with current T, I'd set up a session with another T, plus a phone consult with another before I terminated. I had intended to wait until after I felt comfortable with a new T before terminating (at least a couple sessions)--and was honest about this on the phone with the potential new T. But then 2 days before I was to meet with the first new T, session went really poorly and I ended up terminating. Saw the potential new T twice, then realized I didn't think I was quite done with the other T, so went back to him.

I think there are benefits to both ways--terminating first, so that you're ready to fully commit to someone new and waiting till you find someone you feel comfortable with to terminate. A potential happy medium is to find T's who do free phone consultations (the couple I contacted on Psychology Today did, but not all do) and at least talk to one a bit first to get a sense of whether they might be a good fit. I don't think you need to tell current T that you're checking into other T's. (Oh, I also did consult with another T earlier in the year regarding current T--I told him afterward, and he was OK with it--he's also said he's fine with me consulting again in the future.) I would consider being honest with potential T's that you're seeing someone now and looking to change, but really that's up to you. The T I saw for two sessions was kinda weird about it and wanted me to commit to a month with him, even though I was sort of still T shopping. I said I would, then ended up going back on that.

Well, that was probably more information than you were looking for!

[SlumberKitty]

When I had to stop seeing former T, she kept phone appointments with me while I tried out new T's. We were ending our therapy due to her getting MS and she didn't want me without support, she just wasn't well enough to come into the office anymore. I saw one T while still having phone sessions with former T for four sessions. Ended up thinking the new one was bat crap crazy and then saw my current T with former T on phone call sessions for two sessions. Then when I felt comfortable with new T (my current T) then former T and I terminated. In all of those cases each T knew I was seeing another T. And I'm not changing therapists now but I am adding CBT with my Pastor who is also a T (though I thought it was only going to be for a few sessions and now I'm not sure that is his intent). But I talked through it with current T who was okay with it. Though she might not be after tomorrow if I tell her how the session went.

[sophiebunny]

I gave up on my former therapist. We kept butting heads on where my treatment should go. She was great with my parenting issues. She was terrible helping me look inward at my personal demons. I dumped her on the phone. Not a moment I'm proud of. My psychiatrist referred me to my current therapist of 8 years. She's a much better fit.

At the VA, we sometimes have more than one therapist, such as a therapist for insomnia CTB, a therapist for smoking cessation, and a therapist through the Vet Center (separate but somewhat connected to the VA) for weekly or bi-weekly treatment. Sometimes those therapies overlap. Sometimes they work together, and sometimes they have different agendas for our healing.

In civilian life, as I recall it, it's generally frowned upon to have more than one therapist unless both therapists agree to work with one another and are aware of one another. It's strange how two different worlds (or cultures - one being civilian life, the other military/veteran life) operate differently with regards to mental health treatment.

I'd say that it depends. If you feel your current therapist is helping with some symptoms, but not all, and a new therapist may be able to help with other symptoms, but not the same ones, then yes, go for it, and express that to your current therapist.

However, if you feel your current therapist isn't working out (for either therapy reasons or the dynamic relationship between the two of you), then those are good reasons to find a new therapist, too. But it is important to share with your current therapist how you feel about your relationship, your treatment, and your desire to look for a new therapist. Your therapist is (or should be) trained to work with clients who decide that therapy with them isn't working; your therapist should not feel offended or counter-transfer with you unless it has some therapeutic and ethical purpose - emphasis on ethical. Ideally, you could end things on a good note with your current therapist, and then look for a new therapist while you are ending things at the same time with your current therapist. I'm sure your therapist could help you with that transition, and if not (if the therapist doesn't feel comfortable with that), then you have a right as a patient to assert your boundaries for your treatment needs and desires to seek therapy elsewhere. A therapist should not infantilize you to the point of being dependent on their approval to do so; you know what is best for you, but your therapist should also know why it wasn't working out, which could inform them on what areas they could improve on as therapists, or even what areas that they could help you with - such as if a therapist reminds you too much of a past abuser (that, by the way, is a legitimate reason to change therapists, and a good therapist should understand that and not force you to stay with them).

I hope this helps.

Lillib

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

When switching from my ex-T to my current T, I had already made the appointment with now-current T when I told ex-T I wanted a break to see a different T for a few months, possibly longer-term. I told her this at the end of the session and that if I opted to go longer-term, I'd come back for an actual termination session. Which I never actually did, as I didn't feel the need for it (I suppose it was an abrupt end after 6 years though...). When I recently briefly terminated with current T, I'd set up a session with another T, plus a phone consult with another before I terminated. I had intended to wait until after I felt comfortable with a new T before terminating (at least a couple sessions)--and was honest about this on the phone with the potential new T. But then 2 days before I was to meet with the first new T, session went really poorly and I ended up terminating. Saw the potential new T twice, then realized I didn't think I was quite done with the other T, so went back to him.

I think there are benefits to both ways--terminating first, so that you're ready to fully commit to someone new and waiting till you find someone you feel comfortable with to terminate. A potential happy medium is to find T's who do free phone consultations (the couple I contacted on Psychology Today did, but not all do) and at least talk to one a bit first to get a sense of whether they might be a good fit. I don't think you need to tell current T that you're checking into other T's. (Oh, I also did consult with another T earlier in the year regarding current T--I told him afterward, and he was OK with it--he's also said he's fine with me consulting again in the future.) I would consider being honest with potential T's that you're seeing someone now and looking to change, but really that's up to you. The T I saw for two sessions was kinda weird about it and wanted me to commit to a month with him, even though I was sort of still T shopping. I said I would, then ended up going back on that.

Well, that was probably more information than you were looking for!

Did I miss something? Did you you go back with your previous T?

[nottrustin]

I was fortunate in that when I felt like T and I had hit a wall in one area. I had a fear she was going to retire. I asked what she thought about me trying EMDR. T seemed shocked and offered to step back and stop seeing me while I did that because she wanted what was in my best interest. I told her if I had to stop seeing her, I would not do that. Found out my insurance would cover both. It made the transition a bit easier for me when T was suddenly gone