[dragonphoto]

How do I know that I am getting better? Does my T give me a special certificate? Do I get a plaque? Do I graduate? I feel different, I feel like the world has changed for me and I can handle so many different things. The depression is gone as well as the anger. The jealousy, guilt and mental pain have left me as well. So do I get a hero cookie or a gold star. And how many gold stars do I have to save up to get my certificate?

[Cyran0]

I think that's a great question for your therapist.

Personally, I shoot for "am functioning happily and time has shown it's sustainable."

I think a plaque is a good idea too, though.

Cyran0

[dragonphoto]

Well i asked him yesterday and he kind of looked at me like he was puzzled.

[Perna]

I don't think anyone else can tell you when you feel better? I think too, like Cyran0 says, you have to feel what you've learned is sustainable, that if you start slipping you have new tools to help you. You don't get any gold stars or anything or a certificate/plaque since it's up to you (unless you give yourself one to commemorate the work you did in therapy, does does sound like a good idea :-) and whether you feel you're better. No one else can get inside of you and tell.

[sunrise]

If you are working on depression, are you also on medication? It's not a hard and fast rule, but I think they recommend that people who go on ADs, stay on them at least a year and show quite a few consecutive months of no depression. Then you can use all the coping skills you have learned in therapy and try to go off your meds. Hopefully, you will then be able to maintain a depression free state without the meds (doesn't work for everyone, but for many, they can go off the ADs once they have learned the necessary skills in therapy and also if they improve their life situation). But if you are on meds, be sure to give them a fair trial and don't go off too soon even though you may be really encouraged with your progress. (Sounds like you are doing great!) My husband was on ADs and found his anger decreased but he still needed to learn those anger management skills for when he is off the meds or when the meds are not enough to help him contain.

I also remember you are working on the relationship with your wife. Therapy is a great way to improve one's communication skills, which are an important part of all relationships. This can take some time. So keep learning and practicing your communication skills in therapy and see if you can put them to use outside, with everyone, not just your spouse.

It is wonderful news you have made such gains!

[dragonphoto]

Yeah I am not really sure if I will go off my meds at all. The therapy has really helped me and I will continue to keep doing it as well as reading anything and everything I can get my hands on. As far as my wife goes I am still working that out and things have started getting a little better. One foot in front of the other baby steps