Therapists who send out final letters

The two women I hired both retired and both sent out final letters. I have seen these sorts of letters on other sites and they follow a formula.

They acknowledge the end, say something about it being an honor (whatever the hell that means), give some complements, and wish you well in the future.

It amuses me to see their formulas. I find it interesting when I see the letters (just like these two) that other therapists have sent to their ex-client. I wonder if it a senior class or supervision appointment where they learn it. Or maybe a form book that they use. Have you received a letter of this sort and did it vary from this formula? Not looking for opinions on the ones I received. Just wondering if you got them and if they were in this sort of clearly form letter sort.

It may feel formula because how many ways can you write a final letter. No matter what the business relationship, they letters will probably all sound pretty much the same.

I suppose the other option would to not send a letter at all, but that would, for most people (I realize you are not most people) be considered rude.

I have either not received final letters or specifically told the therapist not to send one, for fear of getting a letter like the above.

Unless they hand write the letter and it is totally personalized, they come across as form letters. I am sure when it comes to sending final letters many therapists discover that they had kind, intelligent female clients with whom it was an honor to work.

I think sending such letters may have more to do with state regulations or the ethical code of their professional organization than anything else.

I never received similar, maybe because I never ended with my therapists sharply. I emailed back and forth with both for a while after stopping going to sessions and the communication just gradually died down.

To me, these sound like some pretty conventional personalized business letters that many different kinds of providers would send to their long-term clients. I do myself sometimes., of course those sound different as my business is not therapy and is not focused on personal stuff much, but I do add individualized elements. I think it is just common courtesy and a way to keep the line open to potential future work by making it so appreciative/positive.

Maybe you receive letters because you write letters to them during the time you see them? I mean, how many people use snail mail anymore?

Eta - altho, i did just email back n forth with the gosling this week. He sent out a new billing rate and other news, i responded then he responded But i guess thats different.

Haven’t received final letters from therapists but I’ve received a few from M.D.’s.

If they compare at all, the final letters I’ve received from MD’s were more formal and matter-of-fact than these.

I actually hope that I will receive one from L, but I doubt that I will, because just before I left last week she said "I'll leave a candle in the window for you." Metaphorical of course, but... I doubt I'll get a final letter.

My first T just handed me my file after she retired (it had been long enough since I had seen her that she no longer needed it for legal issues). It was weird.

I did try to get them not to do so - I think it is a misguided understanding of ethics. The state I am in does not require it.

They were both emailed -not us mail.

I actually did not end sharply with either - I quit - but they sent these out for retirement purposes

I really just wondered who got them and who didn't - not looking for your opinions on the ones I received

I've seen several ts and never had a letter - don't think it's common in the UK

I've never worked with anyone long enough to have them retire and trigger the sending of this letter. I didn't even know there was such a formality and I work in the field.

Unless there are legal reasons for crafting such a formulaic letter, I'd be hurt receiving the equivalent of a mad libs goodbye.

I'd just assume share any thoughts or feelings at the last session and leave it at that. A letter, if genuine and personally written, would be much nicer (at least, imho) because then I could save it with my other keepsakes from both my own personal mental health journey and things I've received from patients at my place of work.

Yeah well if you want something from us, youre gonna hafta take what you get. and btw i thought we were pretty restrained in our opinions.

Again we differ -but will ask to close the thread. This is why I usually do polls.

I wonder why you shared the content and the detail of the letters if you didn't want people to engage with the content and detail of the letters.

I did not receive any letter from my first therapist. Perhaps your therapists sent generic letters to you because you held them at bay and rejected any form of meaningful (as you saw it) relationship with them. Given those conditions, how else could they have responded to the end of your time together?

I was trying to show the form and how therapists lie to clients even at the end. I saw some letters that clients had received on another site and that is what started me thinking about it. By the time this started going off the rails, it was too late to edit my original post. I had wrongly expected others to talk about their own experiences. I did not receive letters from the other two therapists I quit so this was a difference. Also, on the other site, people seemed to like them and not find them formulaic even where they seemed such to me.
I have asked for the thread to be closed.

How has it gone off the rails? Posters seem to be quite engaged with the topic and everyone is being civil. It's a shame to close a thread when people want to engage with the subject. I suspect you prefer a poll because you can more easily control the contributions/answers.

Before the thread closes, I have never received any sort of final letter from the 3 former T's that I had. I wonder how I would have felt if I had. Maybe it was best to leave things as it were.

I was more struck by the lying than the vapidness. A true formal cover your *** letter has other requirements that were not part of the ones I received. I don't think these were meant to be cover their *** as much as just ending ones. I knew both were retiring.

Hello stopdog-I'm sorry that you wish to have this thread closed. I wanted to take a minute to tell you that I have always had a deep respect for your comments, over the years. Anyway, in regards to your original point, I have only had one therapist who left due to leaving the state. I did not receive a letter from them. We did discuss it, my feelings about her leaving, during the sessions. I'm not sure how I would feel about getting such a letter though.

I am still waiting for for my letter from T. After working together for 10 years one would think she would have the courtesy of sending me SOMETHING.

here is my bad sense of humor..... sorry

Nottrustin -

Thank you Unaluna. It is painful but really okay. I actually have a letter that she wrote to me about 4 years ago. In it she said that she always learns something from all the people she meets whether she meets them professionally or personally. She said that I taught her a lot about strength, family and other things. She thanked me for being a part of her life.

This thread is being closed at the OP's request.