I Need an Opinion ASAP Please

That would hurt my feelings too, break rapport, and feel like an undeserved snub.

Yes, all of those - exactly.

I can see from the T viewpoint, your question might actually have broken a spell, and she realized oh heck I shouldn't have brought up my other client in the first place. It shows her reflex is to be comfortable with you, and maybe she got too comfortable and talked about her other client when she usually has a rule for herself not to?

Very insightful of you...that's exactly what she said when I spoke with her on the phone. I know she's very comfortable with me; most people are. For some reason people tend to trust me and depend upon me. Maybe because I do listen, and I listen because I do care. When I got into my 50's though, I started looking at how considerate of me those close to me are, and I came up with "not very." And that hurts.

I feel that what my therapist did was selfish and inconsiderate.

From my point of view from the client chair, it would feel very arbitrary, and kind of like a micro abuse of power, painting it like you were being nosy or breaking a boundary, when actually you were reading social signals very well and she invited you into the conversation.

Thank you for your kindness, and for understanding how I felt. I'm still beating the heck out of myself for...whatever I did wrong...but then I keep thinking don't tell me about your client then decide you said too much and cut me down when I ask about the client you were telling me about!

Yet, at the same time I cannot stop feeling ashamed and like there's something wrong with me.

I struggle with many aspects of therapy, and this is one.

So do I. A lot.

Lately, my T has been taking time to deconstruct these kind of moments with me in which our realities differ while sitting in the same room alone together. It has been very helpful to our alliance, which was in ruins. Yours seems to be a good connection, and this is a rarity?

It does sound productive, what you're doing with your therapist. "Differing realities" - good phrase.

Fortunately, yes; my therapist and I have a solidly good connection. Although I'm so burned by this one incident...the best I can hope for is that it can be useful for therapeutic work.

You could ask her to walk you through her sudden change from her point of view, and share that it hurt your feelings and shocked you.

Yes, that's what she did on the phone after the session. I called to tell her that I was very hurt and upset; she gave me a point-by-point explanation of why she said what she said, in the tone she said it.

She insisted that her response had nothing to do with me, but with her own whatever, that she hadn't meant to sound harsh. I appreciated her explanation. Still, I feel how I feel, and I hate feeling this way.

I would be extremely upset too, and empathize with you. It is really an act of trust to be a patient, to share and work to express and learn and listen. Therapy is creative and collaborative. It hurts more , imo, to have a misattunement in therapy than in real life . Your T made a mistake imo. Now you are shaken up and sad. However, I a very sure the mistake really came from something good- that she was not on guard with you and relaxed into a topic that she probably should not have.