Couch 207: The spiced gingerbread couch

Hugs if wanted. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Ugh seems like both my girls are sick with fevers and coughing. They only hit a few houses then were too tired and cold to do more. My mom and stepdad are supposed to take me out to lunch tomorrow, but I think I rather sleep or do homework. I haven't told them about the CPS thing, and worried that they'll be judgemental about it.

Couch, it was a really sh**** day. The not-soon (enough) to-be ex and I had what was supposed to be our final mediation session.

I really do try to find the very best in the people around me. But today...pretty sure my rose-colored glasses just broke. I told my therapist: You know how you're not supposed to let other people steal your joy? Well, I can't hang onto it. My joy keeps getting stolen.

Still not divorced. Obvs.

Oh. Warm fuzzy socks. I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you a big boundary breaking hug in person.

((WFS))

It’s hard when the rose-colored glasses break.

And it will be worth it to be divorced in the end.

Hugs, WFS...

ATAT? You’re up early..

Time for work. School is closed all next week. That will be the week that either makes or breaks this job. I have to come up with enough activities for them to cover that 3 hours he isn’t in school.

Trouble sleeping. Need to get going, though. Good luck planning next week!

First day of National Novel Writing Month...and I don't give a damn. I feel like I should want to write, but I don't.

I was reading criticisms about that last night—I’d heard of it but never really looked into it before. The consensus was it promotes bad writing more than good, and that people who are determined to be writers will write no matter what and don’t need a month set aside for it.

Give yourself time. You’ll feel the desire to write again.

I woke up with a measure of peace this morning, and clarity. You’re right @@, eventually I will be free of this, however it plays out. That’s my end goal.

I am not afraid any more.

I’ll definitely take that hug, Jersey.

I woke up with a measure of peace this morning, and clarity. You’re right @@, eventually I will be free of this, however it plays out. That’s my end goal.

I am not afraid any more.

I’ll definitely take that hug, Jersey.

Not sure how that happened.

It was worth repeating, apparently.

Hi all couchies, I was so angry at work yesterday and I rarely get angry but when I do I'm like ANGRY. The controller had told me the sales tax refund was wrong for last quarter. Okay, I worked on it, and I took it home and I worked on it, and I came back to work and I worked on it. But for some reason it wasn't coming out to the number she gave me. So she asked me if I wanted her to try. I said, sure if she wanted to, no problem. Well in the meantime, I worked out where the problem was, and I skyped it to her explaining in detail what had gone wrong. I asked her if she wanted me to fix it or if she was still wanting to do it. She said she wanted to do it because she wanted to see what it looked like and stuff. Okay, no problem. About half an hour before she goes home (she is in NY and I am in CA) she sent me an amended return--which was still wrong and didn't even match the number she gave me to begin with. She didn't fix the part that I told her was wrong, and she arbitrarily put a number in excess sales tax paid which, when I questioned her about it she basically admitted that yeah she just put the number in there to make the return come out. But it was still wrong. So I offered to fix it. She was like, well I appreciate your attention to detail but we need to move on to other things. I was like, no we need to fix this. So I tried again, a different approach, but I also said I was willing to defer to her decision as she is my superior. So she said if I want to figure it out on paper fine but don't touch the one we submitted. I'm like FML. Seriously? I was so mad. I had spent so much time on it and I had figured out where the problem was and I knew how to fix it and I wasn't allowed to. So it is still wrong. I don't know why I was so very mad, I think because I want it to be right, if we get audited or something, we are going to have to pay a fine because we didn't fill it out properly. But I also didn't feel heard. I didn't feel understood. I didn't feel valued as a coworker. It was like, she was saying, no I'm right, leave it alone, just move on. As she is my superior I have no choice, but I still this morning even feel angry about it because I could have fixed it properly. I wanted to SH. I called a friend and vented about it. Which sort of helped. I'm no longer angry, I'm just upset. And its triggering me because I don't handle those sorts of emotions well. And it's just a stupid work thing. I should just let it go. But for some reason I'm like, just upset over it. I hate me sometimes. HUGS to anyone who wants one! Kit

I'm angry at the clinic I go to. I had an appt with my pcp for Monday. They called me yesterday and said my choices are seeing my pcp today at 11am, seeing a different provider, or waiting till December to see my pcp. So I chose today. I rearranged my whole schedule for this. Come to find out, they made the appt with a different provider, my H's doctor! Ugh! I needed to see MY pcp. I needed to talk to her about a medication she prescribed. I needed her opinion!

The infant has been projectile vomiting all day long. Where is a parent. I need a parent home. I’m worried he’s going to get dehydrated.

Stick a fork in me-I’m done.

In better news my sister told that idiot that she isn’t playing his ******** games and she will no longer speak with him directly and put everything through the lawyer.

Good. She’s moved on from being hurt to being angry. That’s what needed to happen.

I read the descriptions of therapy in the thread about appointments - and I have no idea how any of it is supposed to be useful. Even reading it makes me crazy with frustration. I read the end of it and people report it was good - and I have no idea why. If what I just read happened to me - I would have wanted (and did want) to smash myself into a cement wall repeatedly until the frustration and rage at being messed with passed.

I managed to break a couple of blood vessels in my eye (I have no idea how) - I look really creepy

@Slumber don't let it go.

Keep a record of all your messages to her just in case, she tries to put the blame on you.

Controller most likely would have a boss too. Might be underhand but I've contacted the head of a department when I was getting nowhere.

Poor baby- i hope his parent is home soon. What's the protocol with sickness. Are you allowed to give medication like paracetamol if they already have bought it?

His parent should buy dioralyte.