Couch 207: The spiced gingerbread couch

I'm sorry you're not feeling so well and overwhelmed. It's okay to cry. Are you at home or work?

Can you chalk out some time to watch a movie or have a hot bath?

When do you next see R?

Honey, I saw that when you were still in nappies. In the theater.

There were a few giant plot holes in Fractured but it was definitely entertaining.

I emailed asking for an extra session and he said he was okay with it but doesn't have time--like maybe if a meeting is cancelled we could skype on Wednesday or he could talk to me on the phone on his way home from work in the car on Tuesday.

I don't know what to tell him. I wish he weren't so busy. I wish I weren't so needy. I hate this so much.

Also I went on the crisis chat line and they were so useless. That service is really hit or miss.

Thank you for honestly making me laugh when I read your first line.



I watched it in French. It was better that way. But I don't have any new series to look forward to. They cancelled the OA. SEE with jason something from games of thrones means I need Apple TV Plus.

I started season 6 of how to get away with murder- but stopped at the end when one of them is confronting

I might not help much either but I'm around if you want to talk.

Do you think there's been anything in particular that's triggered you?

I would take the offer of the phone call on tuesday.

How far in advance does he set his schedule? Maybe you could try going twice a week anyway if you do it early enough.

Thanks, Lemon.

I know what triggered me--on Friday I told him about something that happened to me, something I've never told anyone before. I feel all gross.

I think I'm going to take him up on Tuesday but I just want to talk with him now. I hate this so so so much.

I doubt he'd let me see him twice a week--he'd probably think it'd be bad for me or something. And I can't fit it into my residency schedule anyway.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Someone doing something to you is not your fault. I'm sorry you had to go through that and it's left you with so much shame.

What can you do right now to help you feel a bit better in this moment?

Are you safe?

Thanks, Lemon. I'm safe in that I'm not having SI but I do really really want to SH. T says that if I SH he won't treat me anymore.

I am watching Gilmore Girls and drinking tea. I should really get out of the house.

Also sorry you're struggling. Really, if you SH, he won't treat you anymore? That would really bother me. Has he said why that is? I feel like that would just lead a client to not be honest about it...I don't SH that often, but my T is accepting about it if I tell him. He'll just say something like, "I'm sorry." But I don't think he'd ever stop seeing me for it, even if it did it more frequently.


Has he explained why? Is it because he thinks it will be a deterrent?

Thanks, LT.

Yeah he thinks it'll keep me from doing it but his policy makes me want to do it and lie about it. I'm supposed to call him if I'm about to SH but all he does is tell me to get out of the house and in public where I can't SH. I hate it.

I mean, I've only called him... three times? In more than a year of therapy? But still, I hate it.

Chihiro..it’s not a good policy he has. It’s not a fair policy-either.

There's a series on YouTube called Table Top where they play different board games so you can get a feel for if you'd like it, see how it's played, how complicated it is, etc.. Ticket to Ride does look like it'd be fun.

Someone is in therapy getting the help they need but then a crisis comes up and they hurt themselves. Perfect time to withdraw all help and support. Why not just give them an extra push into that hole they're in the middle of falling into. I don't get the logic behind this.

I haven't played that game in a long time - but my brother introduced me to it and we had a blast!

Ticket to Ride is fun.

Concept (open-ended, super fun)
Machi Koro
Settlers of Catan

Card games: any of the Fluxx games, Exploding Kittens, Five Crowns.

If she can get a group together Secret Hitler is a good strategy game. You can play with six but it’s best with eight or more people to play the strategy bit well.

The stupid debt collector people have now sent a letter to my father as well as the mother - still no letter to me, though. I am pretty angry but I'm not sure if I should be mad at them or at my old apartment place for failing to provide my current address. However, they have called me a few times from an 800 number. I did not answer because I get more than my fair share of telemarketing calls and they never left a message so I had no idea the calls were relevant. However, I started looking up unknown numbers that called me, and they popped up. I am still angry, though, because they haven't left a ****ing voicemail.

Anyway, not sure how I want to proceed. It's complicated because while I felt like my old apartment complex overcharged me on the move out charges, I don't want to combine that dispute with a complaint over how they have handled this. I am not angry that they want the full amount (though it is upsetting and stressful) but that they failed to respond to my dispute and got a debt collector involved. I found this insulting because I did what I was supposed to do and did not lead them to believe that I would be unresponsive to further communications. They also took $400 from me and did not subtract that from the $600 they wanted when they got the debt collector involved (and sent letters to my parents).

I don't know if I want to just pay the remaining $200 so I don't have to deal with all this, or what. I think I could probably furnish documentation to the debt collector that might make them close the account, but I don't know. The account should never have been opened because I had the right to dispute the charges with the apartment complex, I did, never received any sort of response, and next thing I know the debt collectors are involved.

My next appointment's Thursday. I am at home, and will carve out some serious me-time tomorrow. Have been visiting family today.

Thank you for looking out for me @Lemoncake.

Hi everyone. Having a tough weekend. I SHed some more. I'm going to have to tell Pastor T about it tomorrow and I'm really scared about that. I don't know what he is going to say/do. It makes me want to SH more. Sigh.

Morning couch. Thanks to this stupid time change, I've been up since 7 with the youngest. I did manage to finish my paper though and submit it, so now all my work for the rest of the week is complete. I also did one discussion for week 2 already, and thankfully there's no assignment due next week either. I'm working on my next assignment which is a proposal for a group that we imagine to run, either clinical or business. I picked clinical. I don't know what to write though in less than 500 words besides the few things he said are required.

TW about this morning and SA. ...

SK - you don't have to tell the minister anything you don't want to tell him. You can get rid of him altogether. You can wait and tell the therapist if you think you want to tell someone.