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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 2,305
10 871 hugs
given |
#581
I don't know about the first question...honestly don't know if he is or not but wouldn't surprise me if he was. I've considered it and don't see us together forever with this. Something my T and I have been talking about and talked about today again more.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#582
The stupid thing is that I told him that was what I wanted (comfort, containment) and he has said in the past he’s be willing to try to give that to me but he didn’t or wouldn’t or couldn’t.
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Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,149
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#583
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SlumberKitty
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88Butterfly88, chihirochild, JaneTennison1, Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,202
9 121 hugs
given |
#584
Quote:
T likes to remind me that everyone parents differently and that it is good kidlet gets a balance of both. That's not to say I agree with H in this or think it's ok to be how he is reported. |
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atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,202
9 121 hugs
given |
#585
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atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
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#586
I got appointments made with regular T for the next 5 weeks. And the lady at the office said I have a credit from meeting my maximum on the insurance so she said to not pay for awhile. So that went well.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Lemoncake
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LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SheHulk07
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#587
I texted my Pastor T's wife for support because I'm wanting to SH. She texted me back. It really didn't seem that helpful. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Sigh. I don't know if I'm "allowed" to SH now or not...
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SheHulk07
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 2,305
10 871 hugs
given |
#588
I'm sorry it wasn't helpful for you. If you ever want to pm me about the SH, you can.
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SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 2,305
10 871 hugs
given |
#590
Annnndddd I'm wide awake again now. Guess I'll finish week 5s discussions and work on week 6s. Thanks H.
Edited to add: Currently spamming the couch. I worked on one of the week 6 discussions just now. Not sure what to write for the second discussion. They're only 5 points each so probably overthinking it. So I have 5 more discussions total for the class to write. I could wait to do week 8 over the Christmas break, but might as well do them now if I can manage. Trying to distract myself tonight now.
Possible trigger:
Last edited by SheHulk07; Nov 06, 2019 at 03:12 AM.. |
Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#591
I’m feeling really sad this morning.
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ElectricManatee, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SheHulk07, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#592
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
chihirochild, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,767
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#593
Ended up emailing Dr. T last night because I was feeling bad about the session with P, and he made a really good point in his reply this morning--something I should have realized, but I suppose that's what I pay him for! "I might be wrong, but I get the impression that [H] puts forward his best side and tends to ignore or not report the negatives, where you focus almost entirely on your shortcomings and do not do as well presenting your strengths." Ding ding ding! I think that happened in marriage counseling as well.
And he ended his email with a smiley emoji, which he never does (well, maybe like twice in 2 years). |
ElectricManatee, Lemoncake, SheHulk07, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,767
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#594
Quote:
Yeah, maybe I am worried about the tension? Thanks for your faith in D. I do wonder sometimes if H worries about those things, but he doesn't seem willing to tell me, even if I express my fears. I've told Dr. T that I sometimes feel really alone in it, that I wish it could feel more like H and I could support each other in our fears. But he's much more of a "live in the moment" person, while I'm...not. |
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SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,767
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#595
Quote:
I think it was more P saying I needed to change my approach to H's that bothered me. Maybe in part because it made me think of how ex-MC tended to say (in sessions) that I was the one who had to change my behavior or how I reacted to H. But this is not marriage counseling, and P is not ex-MC. And I need to remember that. Me and H going (without D there) made it just feel more like marriage counseling instead of family/child counseling. For your other point, yeah, I imagine I think of how I would feel in D's place, without knowing how D actually feels. nd I'm not sure she'd be able to fully understand or explain how she feels either--identifying emotions is something P is working with her on (as it tends to be an issue for kids on the spectrum--both identifying their own emotions and those of other people). |
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atisketatasket, Lemoncake, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#596
Quote:
Just saying this again- and I'm sorry for sounding like a broken record, but you deserve so much better than to be treated just like an object. You have the right to say no to any sexual activity that takes place. Doing stuff to you whilst your asleep IS sexual assault and shouldn't be down played. I do hope you have the courage to leave this "man". __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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LonesomeTonight, SheHulk07, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 2,305
10 871 hugs
given |
#597
Quote:
Possible trigger:
Glad I see T this evening but wish I didnt have to wait all day. |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
5 7 hugs
given |
#598
Quote:
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying your husband's yelling, etc. is okay. It's not. But there is a middle ground that you two should be able to find together. Less negotiation on simple tasks; less yelling about simple tasks. It doesn't have to be all one or the other. I think that is probably what the therapist is getting at. Don't take it personally. You and your husband need to be on the same page about how to work with your daughter. That's why you are seeing this therapist. |
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LonesomeTonight, Polibeth, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,355 hugs
given |
#599
Quote:
I know there must be good times that make you feel that things can change, and maybe somewhere in the world there is a partner that can change, but it doesn't seem like he's going to change. It doesn't sound like he even cares that he's doing this to you and to his children. Have you called your local domestic violence agency and talked to them about resources that are available to you? I know it's not ideal, but there are likely shelters near you that would allow you and your children space and time away from the situation you're currently embroiled in. It would give you time to think and research your options. |
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SlumberKitty
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Lemoncake, Polibeth, SheHulk07
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Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
6 4,704 hugs
given |
#600
Quote:
Have you thought about asking P for some kind of book or website recommendation for how best to approach the areas where your D needs help? I have found that having an agreed-upon philosophy can help make it seem less like one or the other of us is being preachy to the other. That way we can (literally) be on the same page. (I reference Janet Lansbury and her oppressive rules fairly often -- better to complain about her than my wife! ) |
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SlumberKitty
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
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Closed Thread |
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