Psyhologist ignoring Borderline symptoms and not helping with anything

The traits you list in your original post can be borderline but aren’t necessarily borderline. Being very sexually submissive and/or hypersexual is often a sign of sexual abuse history, especially earlier in life; dealing with the abuse might lead to better sexual boundaries on its own. Swinging moods is even broader. She could have complex PTSD. She could lack a history of stable relationships simply because her childhood home was chaotic and she is simply repeating a parental pattern. You cannot know what happens in her therapy and it isn’t your business to diagnose her with a personality disorder. Nor is it this forum’s based on your subjective experience as an ex. As someone who has been abused, I totally understand wanting a diagnosis for your own validation (in my case, I diagnose him NPD or ASPD in my head). But it’s not about her psychological well-being, it’s about yours. You’re no longer dating and you should probably stop talking to her so you can start working on that. Whatever her deal is, your relationship is now toxic and it’s time to move on.