[hopealwayz]

I usually leave my sessions and it doesn’t bother me to wait for the next session.

However, after yesterday’s session, I deeply miss my T.

I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that I‘m beginning to open up on a deeper level. And yet I feel scared to face everything in my life.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @hopealwayz

[hopealwayz]

Thanks

[hopealwayz]

I feel so hopeless. Like I’m not strong enough to face the things that are hurting me.

[Out There]

The things that are hurting you have been there a long time , it's very natural to have feelings about bringing them up. To me , this sounds like therapy being effective. Try to see it as a positive and good sign. You feel hopeless , but you are bringing things up and facing them , so clearly you are NOT hopeless , No ?

[hopealwayz]

Thanks for that encouraging message. I must not be hopeless.

I surprised myself one day because I revealed a secret from my childhood.

I have gotten to where I can be open good and bad.

[hopealwayz]

My T is amazing. He’s very skilled, empathetic, and an excellent listener.

[downandlonely]

Glad you have a good T.

[hopealwayz]

He is excellent at handling the things that I’ve talked about.

I’m glad that everything worked out and I found him.

With his help, I actually feel like I have a future.

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Glad you have a good T.

When my first T terminated me, I was so hurt that I never thought that I’d get over that pain.

My current T has helped me heal from that.

[hopealwayz]

I still hate myself. I just don’t feel like I’m worth it.

[hopealwayz]

I’m sorry to everyone for all the stuff I caused on here.

[hopealwayz]

I have emailed him over Christmas because I’ve been struggling especially today when I accidentally clicked on a pro sui website.

He doesn’t really say anything about the emails anymore. I don’t email too much anymore.

I still miss my T and I don’t think I have an appointment next week.

[hopealwayz]

I really wish he would put me back on an antidepressant. It seems like I keep getting depressed at nighttime.

[hopealwayz]

I can’t shake this sadness. I also can’t identify why I feel so sad. It’s multiple reasons.

I just feel so alone right now.

[hopealwayz]

I am so tired of the struggle. This month has been full of problems for me and now I feel the weight of the pressure of it all.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @hopealwayz I hope you start feeling a little bit better soon. Can you do something nice for yourself? Play some music that you like, doodle, take a warm shower, get in your pj's and snuggle on the couch? HUGS Kit

[Gettingitsoon]

Hope, I feel for you.
This time of year can be especially hard sometimes.

I like immersing in old christmas movies with some tea.
I think the ideas above are great. I hope you find something that helps you get through.

I'm treading water till T is back in January. Hang in.

[hopealwayz]

Thanks for the suggestions.

Just about 30 minutes ago we found out my sister’s parrot died. I’ve been trying to help her get through it. She had the bird since she was a child. It’s so sad.

[hopealwayz]

Some moments I just wish it was all over.

The darkness has taken over.

[SalingerEsme]

Hang on Hope. The holidays are tough. So sorry about your sister's parrot.

[hopealwayz]

Thanks so much.

I feel like I’m drowning and I keep fighting to get air but it’s like I can’t reach it.

I was in a car accident earlier this month and I have no idea how much the parts are going to cost to repair it. The tire is completely blown so I need to buy all the stuff for the tire.

I don’t know how I’m going to pay for it.

And then when my sister’s parrot died yesterday, my heart totally broke again because she had the parrot since she was a little child and I know she’s devastated. My heart aches for her.

[Gettingitsoon]

Hope, sorry to hear about the car accident. No one was injured, were they?

Will insurance pay for your car's repair?

[hopealwayz]

I’m trying to get the situation worked out.

I’m very worried about what is going on with me. I am isolating from everyone, my appetite is almost nonexistent and I eat very little. Today, my friend came over to my house and all I wanted to do was stay in my bed.

This depression is deep.

[hopealwayz]

Yesterday, I also found a suicide forum and I’ve been reading posts on that forum. I’m not sure if I should mention that to T.