[MtnTime2896]

What does treatment help?

Talking won't erase evil things from having happened. You can't medicate it away. To say you "get over it" is ignorant, at best.

Talk and talk and talk, and if they listen it's like some ****ing thing you'd find on ID or A&E. Their eyes look like they're watching a graphic horror movie, some hunger for more details. I'm not a ****ing sitcom! So no, I don't wanna talk.

Medicate like it does a damn.... I'm glad my mood is at least more stable. But what the **** ELSE HAS HAPPENED?!

I don't feel like anyone listens when I try to say anything. So why ****ing speak. Care team? Ha, funny ****ing name.

No, I don't trust them. I'm trying not to lose faith in the system but, I don't know, patience is wearing thin.

[zoiecat]

I'm not sure what your issues are but have you tried EMDR? My T and I rarely just talk. EMDR is his treatment of choice and he also does a lot of DBT and CBT skills work. Maybe once a month (I go 2x a week) I can get him to just talk about what is going on in my head.

[sophiebunny]

Deep trauma is almost impossible to talk about. My big issue is pity. I've had people read my history and I get sad puppy dog eyes and pity statements. Sometimes I just blurt out the high points to get it over with and say "see, I'm still alive so don't look at me like that." I knew I had the right psychiatrist when after he read my inpatient history he simply said, "I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. I can't erase it but together we can help you cope with it." He treated me like an adult, didn't dismiss my trauma, understood it was never going away, but offered a way to live along side it. He's been true to his word. I tell him everything. Even things I thought could never be said. He doesn't pity me.

[LonesomeTonight]

Personally, I find it very helpful to be validated by my T. I didn't get much of that as a child regarding my feelings, so getting it now, regarding both what's going on in my life now and what was in my past, is helpful. Therapy has also helped me improve my communication skills with people in my outside life. And he's teaching me other coping skills (like breathing exercises). Also helping me get more in touch with emotions like anger, which I tended to suppress. And other stuff.

I think much of it is having the right fit in both therapist and modality. Do you have the option of trying a different therapist? Maybe one who uses a different technique, such as EMDR like zoie mentioned? But so much of it can be the therapeutic relationship--my T has said studies show that the relationship is the greatest predictor of success in therapy, more so than anything else like modality. So you may just need to try others. And actually, the question you ask here, it could be a good question for an initial session or even phone consultation--the "how is this treatment going to actually help me?" If you don't have the option to change T's, then try asking the one you have that question--maybe you need a change in approach or focus.

[toomanycats]

It's true that talking doesn't ever make bad things not have happened.
It does, however, help you to process the bad things that have happened. And, hopefully, it helps you feel not so alone with them. Also, it can help you identify thought and behavior patterns that are hurting you now, often ones developed because of trauma from the past.

[ArtleyWilkins]

No, talking won't change that evil things happened, and medication won't make those bad things go away either.

As others have said, is this the right approach for you? Are these the right therapists/doctors for you? Is this the right modality of therapy for you? If you've been basically trying the same for quite some time and feel it isn't helping in any way, maybe it's time to mix it up a bit.

My therapist and pdoc basically went with the approach that my traumatic past didn't have to keep running the show in my present. It wasn't about forgetting the past or even really getting over it; it was about figuring out what messages, behaviors, beliefs I was still slogging along on my back decades after the events and why I was still doing so. Then, it was working on how to get them off my back enough that they weren't weighing me down in my present world.

Different therapists have different ways to achieve what I mentioned, but it is possible to achieve a place where those past events stop running your present. I went into therapy (particularly my last time) with this as my basic goal. I was tired of feeling stuck in my history and I basically told my therapist I needed to find a way to deal with that crap and move on without it controlling me any longer. I was tired. Really tired.

Finding a therapist and a pdoc both equally focused on that goal who could actually explain to me how I could get there AND who truly believed I WOULD get there made all the difference in the world. We were really very goal-driven and skill-driven in certain ways which for me made sense and gave me direction to move toward. For me, just sitting there week after week talking about my past without purpose would have kept me stuck, so this last therapist clicked with what I needed and desired; we were on the same page and it made all the difference.

Maybe you are no longer on the same page with your therapist/pdoc? Maybe it is time to have that discussion with them, and/or find new providers who can help you find direction and ways to meet your goals? It's okay to change providers. Sometimes we get maxed out with a therapist and new eyes are called for.

[stopdog]

I never figured out what the point of talking to those people was supposed to be. I found the woman's attempts at validation to be patronizing and condescending plus it was just not something that was useful. I really never understood what was supposed to be happening or how it was supposed to be useful.

[here today]

Go ahead! Lose faith in the system. I definitely have, and things are finally turning around for me a little, maybe.

What can you get from a therapist now that helps you? In a way that you feel could help? Is there anything?

I don't feel like anyone listens when I try to say anything.

Ask them to repeat back to you what they think/heard you say, maybe? Yeah, sure they should know that on their own but if they don't then, still, in order to get what you need. . .Sounds like maybe with a "care team" that asking for a referral may not necessarily be productive?

[LilyMop]

I recently found a counselor who I believe is very honest and sincere and cares about showing me a better way to look at my troubles. It took me a long time to find this person so I’m going to stick with it. I agree that it seems pointless to keep talking about things. I have been surprised to find that so far it’s helping me to look at things in a different light and find faith in myself again.

[BudFox]

I did not find that talking to a therapist was any kind of treatment.

It was more like indoctrination into a psychological cult.

Talking about trauma (catharsis) can backfire and be re-traumatizing.

As for their hunger for more details... yes I saw that also. Clinical voyeurism.

On the whole, I found therapy damaging in an insidious way.

[SalingerEsme]

The idea is staged treatment in which a safe place , strong bond, and resourcing happens well before describing trauma. Trauma time mixes and mingles past with present; talking in a safe place is supposed to reduce the charge of the memories, reexposing you to them and your conscious adult mind. This takes a master trauma t.

Originally Posted by MtnTime2896

What does treatment help?

Talking won't erase evil things from having happened. You can't medicate it away. To say you "get over it" is ignorant, at best.

Talk and talk and talk, and if they listen it's like some ****ing thing you'd find on ID or A&E. Their eyes look like they're watching a graphic horror movie, some hunger for more details. I'm not a ****ing sitcom! So no, I don't wanna talk.

Medicate like it does a damn.... I'm glad my mood is at least more stable. But what the **** ELSE HAS HAPPENED?!

I don't feel like anyone listens when I try to say anything. So why ****ing speak. Care team? Ha, funny ****ing name.

No, I don't trust them. I'm trying not to lose faith in the system but, I don't know, patience is wearing thin.