Feedback Please

So I've seen my new psychiatrist three times. Each time I've told him/her that I grew up Catholic, turned atheist in eighth grade after being emotionally abused by the parish priests, and at home by Mother, and am now Deist because of psychotic experiences I've had since 2008. I've told him/her that I can't stand any type of organized religion. Even the mention of it triggers me.

I isolate. Big time. It's been suggested I attempt some sort of social contact like a group of some kind, even after I've emphasized exposure to other people turns me into a nervous wreck and results in me isolating even more. Book club - out. Writing club - out.

Then he/she suggests a Unitarian church, which is Christian.

W T F ?

I was badly emotionally and physically abused as a child, as were my brother and sister. My mother was a monster, a wild animal without a cage. I'm major-league f***ed up, even at 57. I am no longer equipped physically and, especially, emotionally to work.

What I need is to be left alone to deal with my mental health issues. This is the best it's going to get, even with meds. I was labeled treatment-resistant by my two previous psychiatrists.

Now, fellow sufferers, tell me why my new psychiatrist would suggest I join a church after the above has been thoroughly explained to him/her and he/she is aware the subject is my biggest trigger.

All replies, good or bad, welcome.

Respectfully,

Kraut

Although I don't want to speak for your psychiatrist, the Unitarian Universalist churches I have attended are not really Christian. They draw from different religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, even pagan ones. They are accepting of people of any beliefs. Some of them believe in God, and some don't, but all are welcome. So it is a very different type of community.

That said, if you want to avoid religion all together, there are different types of organizations you can look into joining.

Because those guys are usually lazy idiots who follow a script they have come up with and apply it to all clients. I suggest finding a new one or finding something besides therapy to help.

I don't want to socialize for the reasons I've posted. My new psychiatrist is trying to force me into socializing.

I have to say I don't appreciate being pressured this way. I have a lot of trouble resisting being pressured to do things I don't want to do. I've been manipulated by strong personalities most of my life. I HATE it. It becomes a bigger and bigger trigger every time someone says I should do this or that.

Shouldn't the psychiatrist know better?

Sometimes these people like to think they know what's best for everyone and push their ideas. People do often know what's best for them , and that should be respected.

Maybe they under appreciated your experience and they have hope you can get better with some type of social interaction and were encouraging it based on that. Especially if the Pdoc doesn’t know you well (having only seen you three times) maybe they don’t understand you don’t want to socialize. I don’t see how without socializing to some extent that you can recover. You’d need to socialize with treatment providers at least right?

I've been in therapy and drugged up since 1993 with a worsening of my condition since 2008. There will be no recovery.

Seeing my psychiatrist is not a social call. It takes me a day to psych myself up to leave the house and two days to recover when I get home.

He/she also knows this.

I've buried myself in books since childhood. If I had to choose between a boring book and meeting someone for social purposes I'd pick the book every time.

Being around other people, even one at a time, is incredibly stressful. I have difficulty making a phone call. I don't want to deal with the problems of everyday life. I am easily overwhelmed, especially if a problem is the result of someone else's stupidity.

It sounds like this psychiatrist might not be a very good fit for you. Do you have other options? I find myself wondering what you want out of treatment. Do you choose to go?

I'm not big on chatting with strangers either, but I like getting out of the house and at least being around people sometimes regardless. Maybe there's some kind of group you could join that isn't about conversation/socializing? The Y I go to has classes, some are geared towards older/less mobile people if that's more accessible. I go to yoga classes, or go read at the library, things like that.

Going out in public means one day to psych myself up before and two days after to recover.

Unfortunately, where I am, it's very hard to find another psych or therapist. And, I don't doctor-shop. I think it's manipulative and disrespectful.

I have reactive attachment disorder traits. Other human beings scare the hell out of me. I am by nature a solitary human being who feels safest isolating in my apartment. I can work from home because I write for a living. Sometimes the only human contact I have in a day is my therapist or psychiatrist. I don't phone people, I text to avoid intense contact. I am extremely touch phobic. Just casual contact is enough to throw me into trauma.

I say all this because my psychiatrist has gently for decades been nudging me out of my safe zone in order to expand my world. I know he's right even though it goes against my most basic instincts. You can't merge into society all at once, but the idea is to take babysteps in the direction of having more human contact in your life. If you simply don't want to, that's different. No one can make you do something you don't want to do. For me, I'd like to be able to go to a grocery store or attend a big event at my shul without being medicated. So, I let him nudge because in the end I know he's right. I can have a more complete life. We just do it slowly, gently, and with lots of encouragement.

Don't dismiss your psychiatrist out of hand. As for Unitarians, I know people who are Wiccans who got to the Unitarian Church. The one near me has a Pagan Chanting Circle. There is nothing Christian or for that matter Jewish about the Unitarian Church. Be prepared for a lot of progressive lectures and activities. It's ok if its not for you, just understand what it is and what it's not.

I think it would make more sense if the psychiatrist were to ask how the OP felt about trying more social contact. And/or even suggesting it could be beneficial to push further outside of the comfort zone. And providing their reasons, if the OP was interested/"ready" (if ever). Just to push it on the client seems disrespectful, to me.

They are rarely lazy. They aren't idiots. Most are keen observers of human behavior and are able to integrate neurology, pharmacology, and psychology together and do good work. I'm sorry you have had such terrible experiences that it shades your attitudes. Some of us are alive and healing because a psychiatrist cared about where we've been and had hope for us when we had none for ourselves.

Snear if you want to. It solves no problem and offers no kindness.

I don't know that suggesting an alternative is disrespectful. It's offering something to think about. He's not saying "do this or I won't treat you". He's offering an alternative view to consider. If that's disrespectful, everything in treatment is disrespectful. Patients are always free to reject a clinician's viewpoint. But for him to not offer one would be odd.

In my experience representing clients who have been greatly harmed by psychiatrists - my answer stands as I wrote it. IT is my experience dealing with them as a professional - not a client - I have never hired a psychiatrist as a client. I am not sneering at clients. I have never sneered at clients. I despise therapists and psychiatrists and view them with contempt - but not clients.

Kraut, I am glad you are here on PC even if a lot of time is spent lurking. I can see avoiding organized religion even though it feels like a safe place for a lot of people. Organized religion is not safe for everyone as I too have learned.

I don't think it's considered doctor shopping to attempt to find a psychiatrist or therapist that you have a good fit with. It's neither manipulative or disrespectful, except maybe to yourself, to keep looking for someone who listens to what you have to say and attempts to understand you.

Kraut i fully understand how painful the suggestion to join a church is! I have a similar experience when a therapist tried to push me into a religion that is associated with trauma for me. Very few people understand just how Incredibly painful, rude and arrogant it is! It's been a year for me and i still haven't fully forgiven my therapist and i don't trust her fully because of her approach. I don't think she was aware of what she did. I bet it all seemed normal and professional to her but from point of view it was abusive.

I'd suggest explaining in very clear language, even in writing just how unacceptable his suggestion was and that you don't wish him to ever mention religion in your therapy. If he does, you'll leave and not continue treatment with him. This is a time to stand up for yourself. Stay strong!

Thank you to everyone who has replied, although I think a couple posts have been removed for some reason.

No need for that as I asked for feedback both positive and negative. Just needed some time to reread the thread. I have a tendency to immediately dismiss what I don't like to hear, so I back away and come back later with fresh eyes.

Respectfully,

Kraut 🙂