[ScarletPimpernel]

By game I mean like a board game.

If you have, what was it like? If you haven't, would you ever want to? Are there any pros or cons to it?

L asked me today if I wanted to play battleship with her. My instant reaction was no. But in my heart I wanted to say yes. I just emailed her saying that I want to, but we need to plan it out first. I need to know, for instance, where we will be sitting, how close? I need reassurance that she's not going to judge me. And I need time to process it all. I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but this is a big deal. It's like more intimate? I don't know if that's the right word. Anyways, I hope she responds positively. I hope she says that we can play a game together in the future.

[Omers]

T and I did not play a board game but he did teach me a card game and we played it one session. We sat on the floor (my choice) and we had to sit close enough that both of us could reach cards in the middle. T got a little playful and silly but nothing wild and crazy. I would do it again although I might like to try a different game... but T would not play against my in any kind of strategy game so... we didn’t really talk about anything serious until we were putting the cards away. Even then though it was just that he wanted me to know that what ever feelings I had towards him were OK. I think it was because we laughed and picked on eachother while we played and I had always been serious before that session.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I think that might be why L suggested playing a game. To feel more comfortable with her. She said not all sessions had to be heavy. I told her I felt like if I didn't cry then I wasn't doing the "work". I think she wants me to connect with her and to my child self.

I'm okay with a strategy game, so long as she doesn't cheat to win or lose. She has to play honestly.

[Omers]

That sounds about right. My range of emotions with T had been very narrow and he had kept his “turned down low” to not scare me. He experimented with different emotional reactions to moves I would make and I was OK with it. I think his biggest goal was that he wanted me to see that I didn’t have to feel threatened in session. There isn’t some hidden agenda or motive, session can be about what ever I need, and they don’t have to be work all the time. I am not too sure how successful it was for that. The session that helped me with that was one just before he left for a week out of the office. T showed me pictures on his phone of one of his hobbies (part of why he would be out of the office). There were a couple photos with other family members and some silly stuff that he didn’t scroll by fast enough for me to not see. For me that session started to let me see him as human. Seeing T as human really changes the dynamic in a positive way and improved my trust in T.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm glad it was a positive experience for you.

[junkDNA]

Yes many times we play a game during my sessions

It helps me to focus on the game, I find it easier to talk that way.

[junkDNA]

I also find it better if T is also focusing on the game, instead of just sitting there staring at me for an hour

[Rive.]

I haven't and I don't think it would be productive for me.

[divine1966]

No. I love board games but see zero reason to play with t. I’d consider it waste of my money and most certainly waste of my insurance when insurance covers it. I can play games with people for free.

[ArtleyWilkins]

No. Wouldn't want to. I'd be totally distracted and it would be a waste of time and money for me.

[Xynesthesia2]

I don't really like playing games other than chess and, like a few others, would consider it a waste of money to do it with a T. However, I can easily see how it might be a way to relax and connect in a more "everyday human" sense. I also like the idea of getting creative with therapy (within reason) so if this feels interesting, why not? Also think that a lot of interesting observations can be made from how someone engages in a game, maybe something useful for therapy beyond just relaxing.

This has been suggested as a grounding technique before, but tbh the thought of any part of my inner child coming out scares the life out of me

yes, xbox.

[Elio]

Yes, we have played several board games. We have done lots of things. Mostly it's been good experience. The first time she read to me, I giggled at several spots. Later I felt it was wrong to have laughed. T made sure I felt comfortable and that it's been ok, however I respond to things. When T and I were in rupture mode, we did jigsaw puzzles for about 6 weeks.

We play a lot. Most recently, we've been working on learning how k'nex works so that we can build a bridge (completely of our own design). We want it to be a lift bridge. We live in a city with several different types of lift bridges so this would be similar to one of them. However, the lift bridge does have symbolism for me. That I am sure will come out once we figure out how to build it.

I supply everything so far. Though during the rupture she did buy 4 puzzles for us to do. We ended up doing all the ones I bought.

I like playing with T. It does help with the transference (as in making it be stronger). I think this transference is important to my therapy. It also helps some with me relaxing a little. I'm extremely contained around others.

[nottrustin]

I have never played a game in therapy. My children did when in therapy.. board games., baseball, and basketballs. The therapists told me it was to help the therapy be less intense and less like the client is being watched and in therapy. It makes it more relaxed. I suspect it is like going for a walk in therapy. Which I have done which while nice and good when I don't want it to be at all intense or deep I felt like I accomplished less. While nice and needed sometimes. it os not something I would he up for regularly

[SlumberKitty]

No, I wouldn't really want to. I am not much of a game person anyway, and then in therapy its supposed to be focusing on the issues and stuff. I think I would be too distracted.

[ScarletPimpernel]

L and I talked about playing games again today. It's actually been a hard topic for me. When she asked what game I wanted to play, I froze. I couldn't tell her. I felt like she would be mad, upset, or disappointed in my choice. So I wrote it down for her: chess or checkers. She was okay with both. I told her I want to play a game on the 23rd, before Christmas. She thought that was a good idea as well. But I'm so scared! I'm terrified! And I don't know why. I think it's because I'll have to let my guard down a little? Or maybe because we'll be closer? I know I'm so afraid of her judging me physically especially my weight and my teeth. I'm so tense with her already. And I hide behind my purse. I really want to do this, but I'm not sure I can. Am I just being silly? My family thinks I am. But they don't understand why I'm still tense with her. I don't know. I just know I'm scared.

I would be anxious and very self conscious about playing a boardgame with my therapist. It seems like a horrible idea. I don't like "play" generally and am serious in my approach to most things. The idea of a boardgame is thst someone wins and that seems like a strange dynamic to introduce into the therapy room.

Can you describe what appeals to you about playing a game? I am curious.

[nicoleflynn]

We played Twister once.

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

We played Twister once.

Oh lord, the utter horror ...

[SummerTime12]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I also find it better if T is also focusing on the game, instead of just sitting there staring at me for an hour

I think I would want to do it for this reason. It makes it harder for me to talk when he’s literally just staring at me. I wouldn’t want it to be a game that requires a lot of thought though, as that would make it hard to focus on therapy. Maybe something more mindless just so he can look somewhere else for once.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

I think I would want to do it for this reason. It makes it harder for me to talk when he’s literally just staring at me. I wouldn’t want it to be a game that requires a lot of thought though, as that would make it hard to focus on therapy. Maybe something more mindless just so he can look somewhere else for once.

Yep that's why we play rummy or other non complex games

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

I think I would want to do it for this reason. It makes it harder for me to talk when he’s literally just staring at me. I wouldn’t want it to be a game that requires a lot of thought though, as that would make it hard to focus on therapy. Maybe something more mindless just so he can look somewhere else for once.

I think this is why I enjoyed going for a walk with.her fairly recently. All the focus was not on me. We were walking closely and looking forward. A few times she turned and looked at me me a bit. They were definitely less intense appointments because we were in public in a pretty busy area.

My therapist and I love going out for breakfast. I like eating with her or going for walks with her because it makes it easier for me to talk.Last year we went to a virtual reality show which was probably the best time we have ever had together. We laughed so hard.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I would be anxious and very self conscious about playing a boardgame with my therapist. It seems like a horrible idea. I don't like "play" generally and am serious in my approach to most things. The idea of a boardgame is thst someone wins and that seems like a strange dynamic to introduce into the therapy room.

Can you describe what appeals to you about playing a game? I am curious.

First, it was L's idea, not mine. I have read about other people on here playing games with their Ts (and going for walks). I just never thought to ask.

We've been talking about/preparing to play a game on the 23rd. Today we discussed the what, how, and why. The hope is to not only learn to be more comfortable with L, but also with myself. L also wants me to learn more "scripts", so I'll be more prepared for socializing in rl. We have decided to play chess. Both of us know how the game works, but neither know specific moves or anything special. And we've agreed to play honestly. We've also agreed to only play for a certain length of time to prevent anyone from winning or losing because that has nothing to do with the goal. We will be sitting on the floor: my back will be towards the wall. There will be an ottoman between us that the board will be placed on. I'll be bringing my dog and wearing something that will be comforting/comfortable to me.