Couch 211: The Stoffle couch

Going to put funny moment under trigger to be safe

Good suggestions @ElectricManatee I'll definitely look into some research. One of the things that the CFO/Controller said to me today was that she likes how much I research a problem. I guess that is a good attribute of mine. I'm not sure if I am going to find a lot of information regarding Self Harm as a spiritual problem. I have come across a couple of websites that seemed to have suggested it, but I don't know about peer reviewed journals or anything like that.


I am ambivalent at times. I am on the side right now where I want to stop (probably because I just got out of IP and never ever want to go there again--but I've already been having urges, even while in IP, although I wasn't about to say that to them). I'm definitely open to considering more things than I used to. Like an actual live support group, I never would have considered that a year or two ago. So I think I am making progress.

Thanks for the encouragement. HUGS Kit

Yeah, I think it is both. I am allergic to bandaids and stuff too which is ironic if I think about it. But the stitches themselves are itching as well, either that or it is the wound underneath it itching as it is healing. I'm not sure. In any event, my arm is driving me up the wall. I still have to get through 4 days of this. ARGH! Maybe I will try some sort of antihistimine if it comes in a cream. I can't take Benedryl because it makes me bounce off the walls.

My unintentional plan of letting everything in my yard die during the drought and tossing around some grass seed seems to kave worked most of the prickly weeds are just about gone and the grass is growing now to keep an eye on my sneaky neighbour so he doesnt mow and kill the young grass hopefully the rain will last long enough for the grass to spread

Hugs...so you're one of the people who has the opposite reaction to Benadryl (it totally knocks me out). I think wounds tend to itch as they heal. Could you check with the RN about what could be good/safe to use on it? Wondering if something like coconut oil might be OK.

That's a good idea. Thanks LT!

A comedian I’ve seen perform posted on Twitter, “I personally would never fall in love with my therapist because he pays way too much attention to me.”

That is actually a good point. Constant goo-goo eyes.

I hate it when they looked at you with that doofy "I'm trying to do empathy" at you look

I they use the voice. My wife and I call it the special victims voice because Olivia Benson uses it on SVU, low and quiet and conveying how much they care. Barf.

SlumberKitty, I don't understand why your pastor thinks SH is a spiritual issue. I see SH as a way to cope with unbearable emotional states, like intense emotions, numbness etc. Nothing to do with god.

I think he’s saying the treatment can be spiritual. Turn to spirituality instead of sh when in extreme emotional states. The body is a temple and so on.

Kit, a bit ago he told you he wasn’t equipped to deal with your issues. I think he’s right, PhD or not. The degree doesn’t mean he understands hallucinations. Anyway, when he says he’s not trained in your issues, I’d take him at his word that he can’t help.

I think you need to leave pastor T, he may be well qualified but he is not qualified for this. I have met with a lot of T's and although some of them have a lot of knowledge and have learned a lot, they are not experts at dealing with my particular issues.

I think lateness might be a deal breaker for this T. My appointment was at 10:15 and it's now 10:30. I'm ready to leave even though I hear him in his office

I agree. The second T I saw had a degree from Cambridge and more letters on his card than anything else despite also working for a fancy smanchy place .I think I saw him for 4 sessions and I honestly feel like I got nowhere with him.

Trust yourself on this.

Are you still there?

It's okay to cancel if you think it's not good for you.

I'm glad it worked for you. hope you told neighbour you'd be calling the police on him for trespassing if he repeated his behaviour.

I think I feel too fragile to leave Pastor T. Like I dont have the ability to stand up or something. Maybe I will talk about it to Regular T tomorrow.

Internet, emails, phones, Skype are all down at my work. Part of a larger service issue. Literally can do no work. I guess I can just play on my phone.

Is this the first time he's been late? If so, I'd give him a chance to explain and apologize and another session or two. Then see if it's a pattern and decide. Well, and make sure he still gives you the full allotted time.

I wish this whole Johnny Depp/Amber Heard thing would just quietly remove itself from my various newsfeeds. It's dredging up a lot of feelings for me. I ended up having a humiliating emotional meltdown in session this week caused by what this brought up for me. During my meltdown, my therapist said I was regressing and wasn't being rational, which at the time made me feel stupid and awful and like he was angry at me. The next day, we talked about it some and he said for him it was heartbreaking to watch me fall into a shame spiral, so at least I know he wasn't actually angry at me.

I'm starting to feel how I felt before I went IP. Not good. I feel depressed (more than usual). I was having hallucinations earlier--both audio and visual but not at the same time). I just feel rather ill. Pastor T would tell me to call a friend so I might do that on my break. I will feel stupid though. I'm under contract with regular T to not SH at least until tomorrow. I'm just not feeling well. I do think I will try that NAMI support group next week. The pastor (not pastor T) emailed me the directions and stuff. Guess I should check it out. I'm bored at work today because nothing is working. Dont think that is helping things. I have to get myself together!! Ugh. Crap. I hate feeling bad like this.

I've only met him twice and he's been late both times. But he's also given me basically a 90 minute session both times. He said at the first visit that promptness wasn't his strong suit and apologized. It's just difficult to schedule when I'm not sure how long I can expect to be there plus travel time.

This T, also told me at the end of session today that he does hugs if I want. I've never had a T say or offer, just heard about Ts on here that do. I declined because I'm not a big hugger but I wonder if I'll want one eventually if I continue to work with him.

I’m writing my assigned review of “Cats.” I’m having real trouble identifying the other voice to write the second review in. Crazy cat lady is too easy. I considered Info. I considered someone who hates cats or is afraid of them. I even considered 2ex. Bah. Need to think outside the box.

(The assigned book in which the exercise is is not helpful. It suggests the voice of a cowboy, millionaire, or manic depressive—I didn’t know that term was still used.)