Do you feel therapists' partners/families get jealous of their clients?

No, I don't.

Absolutely. It would be human, just depends on the relationship and the triggers of the individuals in mind.


Sadly, therapists commonly sleep with clients, and so it isn't that hard to imagine the secrets being detected in family members.


Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I sometimes wondered if my former marriage counselor's family was jealous of his clients, particularly his (now late) wife. He would take calls from clients at any time, including in the middle of the night (I called him once at 2 am when I was in crisis, and he eventually answered and talked to me for a couple minutes). Even when we were in session, he'd be looking at his phone if he got a text or call, "just to check the number." A few times he said he had to because there was a "potential crisis brewing." So I could see his wife or kids being jealous (or annoyed) if he was always pulling out his phone to check the number and potentially have to reply/talk to a client in the middle of a family dinner or watching a movie (he used the same phone for personal and work). And because he was so consistently warm and caring in session, I wondered at times if his wife or kids were jealous of how he was to his clients, because no one can be like that *all* the time (and in fact he told us about times he yelled at them and/or was "furious" with them).


With current T, he has stronger boundaries around things like texting and calling (only allows texts for scheduling, only allows calls if scheduled in advance, turns off his phone at 9 pm, etc.), so I wouldn't expect so much of a jealousy issue there. Plus he's not so warm and fuzzy with clients. However, from a couple comments he's made to me regarding "really attractive women," I could maybe see his wife being jealous of other women in general...

I think it is only natural if they get jealous sometimes. People commonly get jealous of their partners' coworkers and other professional connections even simply because how much time we all spend working and interacting professionally. Now take someone whose work involves quite personal and intimate interactions with clients and, inevitably, some of them are interesting, attractive, new. There will also be some to have a natural chemistry with, that is just normal. Then there is often the mystery because Ts are not supposed to discuss their clients. I do think that a spouse is better to get used to this and not spend much energy on ruminating over it, otherwise they can end up in suspecting, harassing their partner, and it will erode any relationship. If a T is neglecting their family and/or relates to their clients in an unethical, unprofessional way, that is of course a different issue.

Pastor T sees people at night. I suppose his wife might not get jealous of the clients so much as she might be resentful of him being away so much at night when she is home from work. On the other hand, she might like the solitude. Regular T is divorced and her children are old enough to be out of the house and on their own with their own families. I don't know if she has a boyfriend or anything but she hasn't said so. Former T was single and liked it that way so I guess I don't think it has been an issue for any of my longer term T's.