[Shotokan]

I told my psychologist that I have been using this site. He read through many of the threads on this forum and came back with a few views:


1) "If one is driving by his/her therapist's house, it is best not to state it on here. There is an anti-stalking law, and it could get traced back to the person doing it."


2) He believes that this is a very supportive site. He is also impressed with our hard work and the knowledge we have gained through it in trying to get better and feel better.


3) He already knew that there are many therapists/psychiatrists that have been abusing clients. He is reading through the posts regarding abuse and feels very, very badly for us. He mentioned that he often discusses with his colleagues about what could be done for patients like us. Sometimes we discuss this in session too. In fact, he himself had big problems with one of my former abusers!

I just wish there were more clinicians like mine, who are willing to admit what they know.

[here today]

Maybe he already knows, or has picked up on it from other threads, but I think one big factor is that people who come to therapy frequently have a history of childhood trauma. And they/we may have numbed out a lot, including trauma bond patterns that they/we tend to form and other (unconscious) coping defense mechanisms, which the therapy is supposed to elucidate but when the therapist -- often -- has a history of childhood trauma, too, despite their best efforts much may remain and they end up exploiting and hurting us, rand/or wasting our time and money, which is a kind of hurt and exploitation IMO.

In addition to more awareness about trauma bonds and how they may play out in therapy -- and perhaps helping to educate the client BEFORE something might possibly happen (which the therapist probably never expects until too late!), there could be more emphasis on Feedback Informed Therapy, which has a good history in the literature but has not been adopted by many practitioners.

My two cents.

Therapists, of course, could also survey, interview, and otherwise do research on the people whom therapy fails and harms -- IF they really wanted to, IF that was a priority in their view of what was important to do.

[LonesomeTonight]

So you feel OK about his reading through the site? Does he know your username (or was he able to figure out it was you?)

My T knows I use this site. I almost accidentally said my username once, and he said it wouldn't matter if I shared it, that he'd never look on here without my permission. So I told him. (I trust that he wouldn't look on here.)

And he agrees that, from what I've said, this site can be very supportive. He even said it was basically a support group at one point (when I said I'd never used a support group, and he was like, "uh...what about the forum?") My former marriage counselor seemed against my using it, so it's nice that T supports it and realizes that it has value for me.

[HD7970GHZ]

Originally Posted by Shotokan

I told my psychologist that I have been using this site. He read through many of the threads on this forum and came back with a few views:


1) "If one is driving by his/her therapist's house, it is best not to state it on here. There is an anti-stalking law, and it could get traced back to the person doing it."


2) He believes that this is a very supportive site. He is also impressed with our hard work and the knowledge we have gained through it in trying to get better and feel better.


3) He already knew that there are many therapists/psychiatrists that have been abusing clients. He is reading through the posts regarding abuse and feels very, very badly for us. He mentioned that he often discusses with his colleagues about what could be done for patients like us. Sometimes we discuss this in session too. In fact, he himself had big problems with one of my former abusers!

I just wish there were more clinicians like mine, who are willing to admit what they know.

Hi Shokotan,

Thank you for sharing! This was interesting to hear about your therapist's perspective. I am pleased to hear that you have an ethical therapist! That is Amazing! Can you please point me in the right direction?! I have a terrible track record of being harmed over and over again. Unbelievably broken system.

I wonder how many of our therapists are online reading this stuff... Hopefully they learn from it rather than seeing it as a major issue. Potential for litigation and libel if they found out... You know what... If I get sued for libel and wind up going to prison for telling the truth - I suppose then I would have ample time to write a book. We can basically ask for support from the community to help expose the problem, couldn't we? I mean - in a class-action suit. The entire psychological community cannot possibly silence an army of people who have all been made subject to abuse and Institutional Betrayal upon speaking up and or filing complaints / lawsuits after the fact. I know I would happily go on record with a few hundred other survivors out there if one of us was dragged into a court case! I would be HAPPY to provide testimony as a whistle-blower / truth-speaker.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[bpcyclist]

I have to admit, this made me a little uncomfortable...

[stopdog]

Don't take legal advice from a therapist.

[HD7970GHZ]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Don't take legal advice from a therapist.

Haahahahahahaha! Good one. I agree completely.


Thanks,
HD7970GHZ

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Don't take legal advice from a therapist.

Or any advice

[Omers]

Ok, off topic but... I keep seeing this thread and reading “my therapist ran through our farm” and I give a little shutter thinking of my T running through my farm (which is across the street from his friends house. T is a total neat freak and my farm is partially flooded right now (lots of mud!). So, I am picturing T running through trying to run fast enough not to get dirty.

On topic... my T and I have talked about the forums but I think he would get too upset by all the bad experiences on here. Ok, basically I think T would trigger trying to read the forum.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I showed L the forums. I told her my username. I don't know how much she read or didn't read. I know I linked her a specific thread about her which is how she knew it was me. She thought the forums had good insight and was a good support for me.

[~Christina]

I told my T about Pc years ago. He told me a few sessions later he checked it out and felt overall it’s a well run site and he is glad I found it..

He knows that I am capable of picking and choosing any advice I find.

Over the years he’s told numerous clients about it. I have no idea if anyone checked it out or joined.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I have to admit, this made me a little uncomfortable...

No shite....

I don't like the idea of therapists lurking here either. I know there are posters who are both client and therapist, which makes sense because those posters contribute as clients. I also know it's a public forum and we are anonymous, but it seems intrusive or voyeuristic for therapists to silently read threads. Go and hang out in your own space and leave us to have ours. Oooo, I feel protective and combative!! Them and us: fight starts at midday. No weapons and first to fall loses.

[ArtleyWilkins]

But clients often lurk on therapist pages . . .

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

But clients often lurk on therapist pages . . .

... which is completely fine because how else are we to keep an eye on them and their dastardly, wily ways?!

[ArtleyWilkins]

. . . because clients don't have their own "dastardly" and "wily" ways, right?

Just playing devil's advocate here, but there is plenty of these "ways" to go around on both sides of the equation, and if a therapist, like the OPs takes a look at this forum (do we really think they don't already know PC exists?) and says it looks like a supportive site, I don't see the harm. Or, if a therapist looks around here and perhaps, like the OPs therapist, sees the level of harm that some clients have encountered, perhaps it is a learning experience for them. And, aren't there individuals on here constantly saying therapist don't understand or recognize the client's experience, so wouldn't this be one way to perhaps gain that insight somewhat?

Just some thoughts. I have no dog in this fight anymore.

[stopdog]

I think those people should have to endure therapy themselves (it is not a universal requirement in the u.s.)
I have no problem if anyone, even a therapist reads an open forum. I doubt those people have enough self reflection for it to be useful to them in any way.

[atisketatasket]

Frankly I think this forum should be required reading for therapists. Half an hour a week for a year, 3 CE credits. Test on what they've learned at the end. Stopdog to grade the test and award CE credits.

[ElectricManatee]

I feel like some therapists would end up losing previously earned CE credits if stopdog is doing the grading.

[here today]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

. . . because clients don't have their own "dastardly" and "wily" ways, right?

. . .

Which we are in therapy, presumably, to help with, do you agree? And which often (in my experience anyway) we do NOT find help with. And yet you are still putting the responsibility for that on the client?

I was kidding. A little jokette to ease our existential angst. I should learn to keep my wily and dastardly ways to myself.

[here today]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I feel like some therapists would end up losing previously earned CE credits if stopdog is doing the grading.

Which could be a very good thing, if the people losing the credits lack "the self reflection for it to be useful to them in any way." The therapists wouldn't like it but perhaps it could increase some motivation for them to improve their ability to self-reflect?

Which gets back to the purpose of the therapy enterprise -- enhancing therapists' pocketbooks and self-esteem or helping the people who come and pay them for help? It can be both/and, but if the clients aren't getting help and instead are getting hurt. . .and if the therapists aren't listening to client feedback or self-reflecting . . .then it can more easily become the exploitation and abuse which some/many of us have experienced. And which we, let's face it, may have lacked the self-reflection to understand at the time. . .BUT. . .it is NOT the case that there is "equality" in the therapist-client "relationship". If it were, why would we be paying them?

[LonesomeTonight]

Sometimes I think my T should be paying me for CE credits--he's acknowledged that he's learned quite a bit through working with me.

[here today]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I was kidding. A little jokette to ease our existential angst. I should learn to keep my wily and dastardly ways to myself.

I thought your comment was just fine. It seemed like a very good jokette to me. Whom did it hurt, really?

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Sometimes I think my T should be paying me for CE credits--he's acknowledged that he's learned quite a bit through working with me.

In a letter to me, T told me she learns something from every client. She said I taught her so much over the years and thanked me for being a part if her life.