Supportive therapy

My T yesterday said that it sounds like I am looking for supportive therapy and not looking to get better. She said she doesn’t really do supportive therapy. She likes to treat people, personally I think it is an ego thing for her. She wants to fix people it makes her feel good. I don’t want to start therapy all over again. My past is just to complicated and I don’t remember parts of it because of the ECT. My T remembers more than me so I rely on her at times. I just have this push pull struggle going on. What should I be thinking about so that I can make a good decision?

What does she mean by "get better"?

Not need therapy anymore.

Some therapists and therapy modalities are more goal oriented, and they work toward outcomes, one of which is the idea that therapy won't be needed forever. I'm guessing (completely) that what you therapist means by supportive therapy is the idea that therapy is meant not to reach any particular goal but as a means of consistent support for all things at all times. Not all therapists or therapy modalities are really set up to be only supportive.

It sounds like perhaps you and your therapist are not aiming at the same purpose in your therapy. That sounds frustrating.

Do you have any particular goals for yourself and what you see as the purpose of remaining in therapy? Perhaps you do but you haven't thought about them and put them into focus. Maybe that's what you need to work through for awhile with your therapist. What is an achievable goal/outcome/improvement that I would really like to get to and that you hope the therapist can help you reach?

It doesn't have to be huge. I remember when I started my therapy last time that my goal was to reach a place where my history and the resulting depression wasn't running my life. If that aim was what I hoped for myself, what needed to happen, what did I need to learn about myself, what did I need to do or think differently in order to get to that place?

It may just be that you are in a "stuck" place right now and your therapist is trying to get you "unstuck." I think we all go through to times when we just seem to be spinning our wheels, or worse, just sitting there bogged down in the mud not even trying to spin our wheels anymore. Your therapist may simply be trying to get you to attempt to put your foot on the gas pedal and make some sort of a move forward.

I did do some of what could be considered supportive therapy at times with former T when I just wasn't well enough to actively be working on goals. Her modality allowed for it. It was very helpful in keeping me out of the hospital. I do think there is a time and a place for supportive therapy. I do think ArtleyWilkins has some good suggestions though if your T is against supportive therapy. It is important that the therapist and the client be of the same mind in accordance to goals otherwise you are both working towards different things. In my case, I think Pastor T is pulling me along to his side of things in terms of goals, and pushing me towards his goals, and Regular T is allowing me to set the pace and set the goals. Both strategies are different and because I have two providers there are friction. I can't see either of them doing supportive therapy though. Moreso Pastor T than Regular T. But Pastor T is very CBT oriented which is goal oriented as far as I know. I hope you can work something out and get what you need out of therapy either from this provider or from a different one if need be. HUGS Kit

Well, do you think you need therapy anymore? Or, maybe, just like -- and maybe need -- the support?

If you like or need support, then there may be other ways for you to find that. It might just be not-so-great to have to find it somewhere besides with your current therapist. But if she doesn't feel like that's something she wants to continue to do, then . . .

I liken it to physical therapy. Some people need it forever, some need short term. This doesn't mean I don't improve but it's two step forward 1.5 steps back. sometimes more. It's probably discouraging to see a client improve and deteriorate over and over again but that's the nature of my MI. Some therapists wont work with me because of it. Those therapists I don't think have a clear understanding of "chronically" mental ill. It's not that I'm not "doing the work" it's that daily living is a struggle. I'm getting better over time. You might want to write down how you have improved since starting treatment and share it with T.

This is really interesting to me because it’s the opposite w most of the therapists I’ve had. I want therapy to be more , but not all, goal oriented. I find I have to be the one driving this focus, because time and time again they will lapse into the supportive mode just letting me talk as the default. Yes, bipolars need to vent, but sorry, I think they’re very lazy lapsing so often into a default mode of just sitting there. I have stressed over and over that I want her to be goal oriented. Unfortunately I am at a point in my life of big transitions where it’s hard to stay with clear cut goals, instead making and rejecting some. Still, she is the professional and I don’t want the full weight of driving the therapy on my shoulders. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for this topic. Saying that to you may have been intended to be thought provoking for you, but to a highly educated professional like you it undoubtedly sounded harsh, demeaning, and even insulting. Don’t overreact, but do discuss with her different combinations of the two kinds of therapy that could work for you as the other poster said.

How long have you been with this therapist? If its been awhile I personally would be really annoyed if I heard something as invalidating as that. Did you guys set goals and a routine for "getting better" and has she told you what "getting better" looks like to her? Does she want you to just leave therapy?

In my experience, there is oftentimes an ego thing that goes on with therapists, even good ones. I think that true altruism is rare.

I have been with her for over 5 years but when I met her I was in crisis for the first 3 years so our goal was just to keep me alive. Now that I was starting to get more stable she had started to want to work on things. She thought I was avoiding the work but I just didn’t have an answer for her. I have been slipping lately and I think she just got frustrated. But we knew it would probably happen with all the changes I am working through.

We have discussed some small goals but I think she would like to work on some of my bigger issues. Which is even harder now that we went from twice a week to once a week.

My question is how can get better unless one is supported? In my mind getting better is dealing with ones MI whatever the diagnosis is. For example a woman friend is diagnosed with sz. One symptom is she hears voices. She takes her meds. Even so she still hears voices. One improvement is they don' bother her as much. ie She can shut them out. Improvement means different things to different people with MI Maybe you should ask her what she means by getting better. I don't understand why a T can't do both. I saw my pdoc the other day. Dx major depression He was very supportive and I felt really good that session. My T is very supportive too.