Video sessions

Have my first skype session this week...I'm looking forward to seeing T but I know it won't be the same as face to face therapy. Somebody on here posted something about body language and communication when in the same room...I think that is what I will miss the most. I'm terrified of the connection being bad, of him being blurry on screen, or skype failing somehow. I worry that we won't be able to connect. But I am also grateful that I have this option and that I sort of have the opportunity to "see him". Who knows, maybe I'll get to see a little bit of his house. Maybe it will be better than I think it will. I remember thinking I wanted to try skype with him once...it's too bad it happens to be in such horrible circumstances.

I'm also trying to remind myself that this is temporary. We can't be in lockdown forever, right (I'm in the UK)? We will eventually go back to normal, face to face sessions, right?

Now...which part of my house do I want him to see? What the heck do I wear? I'll definitely be removing my face from the screen. this is so stressful.

I hope it goes well, Merope. I've now had video sessions in a couple different rooms at different angles. During one, I was mentioning this industrial-looking air filter I'd bought, and Dr. T was like, "Can I see?" so I turned my camera toward it. He was also able to see some of my D's "artwork" on the walls (her drawing with crayon or marker right on the walls), and he commented on it with a smile, saying it was some abstract art. So he's seeing a bit of the environment I live in, which is both good and bad in a way, I think. I worry about him seeing some of the mess or our piles of laundry (I meet in our bedroom if D is home, because it has a door I can close) and judging, but I've already told him I'm a slob. It's...interesting. So far he's been conducting sessions from his office, but if he switches to his house, I worry how that will be, too, partly due to the different setting, but also if I was somehow able to hear his wife or son say something in the background.

Merope,

I get it. We can't be in lockdown forever...I hope.
It'll take a while, but some 'normal' will resume.
As far as what to wear - make sure you are comfortable...that's all I'd say.

Take care,

Lost

The second session was much better. I tried the paper thing but the whole thing went dark. But it was ok today. Her side was really bright unlike last time. Maybe that had something to do with it.

There were some internet connection issues with my session with Dr. T today, where it never fully disconnected, but cut out at awkward times, like he apologized the one time saying I needed to repeat the last 15 seconds of an important thing I was sharing. It also got weird, like briefly freezing up a few times, near the end of session, so I was uncertain if he was hearing everything. So, definite disadvantage of this mode of meeting... Still had a helpful, though very emotional, session.

Question: Does anyone notice that their T yawns more (or yawns at all, if they don't normally) during video sessions? Mine very rarely yawns during in-person sessions, but I've noticed he tends to yawn once or twice (twice today at least) during video. I just try to ignore it, but wonder if there's something about having someone in the room in front of you that can help repress that impulse. Or something about staring at a screen that makes it happen more? (For whatever reason, I'm not a particularly big yawner, so I can't really base it on my personal experiences!)

Nope, I didn't notice my T yawn during video sessions, nor while we were doing in person.

Maybe your T had a rough night or day (depending on your session time)? Or is overextending himself more generally?

How did that make you feel though, seeing him yawn more often within your session?

Thanks for your reply. I tend to write any therapist yawning off as not having to do with me, but it did bother me a little bit yesterday for some reason. I guess I felt I was just sort of rambling on with my laments about things and worried I was boring him. Also because I figure every client right now is talking to him about how much Covid and the restrictions suck and their fears about the virus. When at other times, what each client is talking about is probably more unique.


But I also think it may be that, in person, I have other body language signals that he's paying attention and engaged, where on video, I can just see his head and upper chest, plus at times his hands because he tends to stroke/play with his beard a lot, or just rest his chin on his hand.

At least he generally tries to conceal any yawns. I think of a time when we were in session with ex-MC, and he had this big, loud exaggerated yawn in the middle of me talking (and I don't think it was to make a point, I think he was just being rude, like when he'd cough a bunch without covering his mouth).

I have a question about video quality...do you guys think that using 4g for Skype would be better than using wifi? I live with lots of people who will be using the wifi at the same time. Has anyone experimented with this?

I am supposed to have a video chat session with my Pdoc tomorrow. No tea, no shade, no pink lemonade, but there is no way in hell I am going to do that. I will reschedule until as long as possible.

I'll be "meeting" with my T at his home office this morning for the first time in a half session/check-in (other sessions he held from his regular office). Wondering how that might affect things for me. Also wondering if he'll be dressed more casually (for some reason, I keep picturing him in his bathrobe or PJs, but obviously he wouldn't be wearing either of those). Will report back.

Reposting from another thread: I just ended a (half) session with my T at his home office for the first time. I was pretty nervous about it for reasons including if I heard his wife or son in the background (or they barged in). But all I could see in the background was a blank yellow wall and some blinds with light coming in. I wonder if it's normally that simple in there or if he removed stuff from the walls? It felt OK, though in the back of my mind, I had that he said it's hard for him to focus at home. I ended up mentioning that, and said, "So are you sort of sitting there thinking, 'OK, focus, focus...' to yourself?" Dr. T (smiling): "Basically." At the end, I asked if he'd be doing sessions from his home office from then on. He said it's his intention to keep going to his regular office. I said it actually felt OK, that I was afraid I'd hear a family member, or a pet would run past the screen. Dr. T: "A zebra walking by in the background?" Me: "That would have been really cool." He was still dressed professionally, no bathrobe or sweatshirt. Still drinking his coffee from a travel cup.

Had my first video session with my Pdoc. It went well. I had 30 minute session. My next session will be by video too.

My therapist has started to move to video for the time being. Supposedly there's a chance we'll be back to face-to-face visits in a week or two, but no guarantee of that. I can't bring myself to do telephone or video visits. It just doesn't seem the same. At the same time, I know that the lack of that support has led to increased struggles lately. I don't know which will win out - the anxiety of doing telehealth or the need to get help.

I had my first video appointment this morning. I was supposed to go in person, but I actually decided to make the change at the last minute, which was fine because the office has decided to make the switch for all appointments starting Monday. Even though it's a low risk situation, I decided it wasn't worth any risk at all to go in person. The video chat went better than expected, although I did find myself talking less than I normally do in person. I'm self-conscious about my voice and I was extremely aware of it throughout the session. I hope it gets easier with time, because it's likely to be this way for weeks to come.

Emdr T and I have done teletherapy 3 times in the past all because of the distance I travel to see her and the weather or schedule conflicts. So she and I had a bit of experience before this all happened.

This is different though and we discussed it yesterday. In the past it was that one session and usy I had something happening after so the intention was to not go very deep. Plus, she was in her regular office now she is in her homes guest room. I can hear my family walking and talking. There ate a lot of things my kids don't know about my past that I don't want them to hear. So that is always in the back of my mind. I could faintly hear her child laughing in one of our appointments. Which she mentioned she can sometimes hear si it can be distracting for a moment for her but she has her noise machine and knows they can't hear us. I also brought up that when we are in her office and the door closes ot is like the rest of the world goes away. for that period of time and I feel safe. While I totally feel safe in my home it is a different safe than in her office. While I am thankful we are still working together and because of a cancellation I saw her 2x this week it is harder. With the sessions in the past we knew it would be just just that one time and we would be back fo normal. This could be a while, we both agree it could be very likely the end of may before this ends

NT, could you try putting either a white noise machine or just a fan turned on outside the door of the room you're sitting in? Or even within the room? That's what I did for my last session when H and D were home and possibly in the floor just below me. H said he couldn't hear anything I was saying (and I believe him, as I think he'd comment on something). Another thought is, if you want to share something with T and not say it out loud, maybe type it on the phone and show it to her? Or, if you're using Zoom, there's also a chat option where you can type something. Just some thoughts. I agree that it's difficult to do from home, and I was distracted by my D screaming downstairs the other day. I hope your sessions go well...