How do you talk to your therapist about sex and other stuff?

How do you talk about sex and stuff with your therapist without her or you getting uncomfortable? She was asking me today if I’m comfortable masturbating and I was the one getting uncomfortable and she said that we can talk about anything. I just have this one thing I’m kind of obsessed about and I want to talk to her about it but I don’t want to like scare her away. I think she may already know based on another part of our conversation today. But I’m wondering if I should tell her in email maybe. I wonder if she’s trying to do a reverse psychology type thing and tell me I can email her so I’ll tell her. I just don’t know how to tell her properly. Any suggestions?

I have never been able to talk about sex and other stuff like that with any of my therapists although I did bring it up with my psychiatrist last appointment, particularly whether I'm asexual or I just have no sex drive? But if it were me, I'd probably talk about it in email because there's no way I'd be able to get the words out of my mouth. Good luck! HUGS Kit

Just my thoughts....I think it's okay to feel uncomfortable as long as it still feels safe(ie: it feels uncomfortable, but doesn't send you into a really bad place.) I can understand not wanting to make the therapist uncomfortable, but I try to remind myself that my therapist can handle whatever I tell him.

In terms of bringing up sexual topics, I have done so multiple times. Like you mentioned, I too was afraid I'd scare him away. I worried that if I told him something, he'd think I'm disgusting and decide he can't work with me anymore. I have told him things via voicemail and in person. On one hand, telling him over voicemail was nice because I didn't have to look at him, but waiting to talk about in session was stressful. Telling him in person felt healing. I took a chance and he proved that he is safe and won't judge me.

I know it's really hard and scary to share something so intimate. It's not easy to be vulnerable, but it can be healing in my experience. It's okay to take it slow and or email her. This is your therapy and you can decide what and how you share things.

Hang in there and I hope this helps!

I halfway told her in email this afternoon. She’s a very good problem solver she’s probably figured out what I’m talking about. If she didn’t already know. Maybe I’ll send another one in a few days.

I’ve told other therapists before. One used to make jokes about it. One kinda thought I was being weird. And one I just refused to tell because she was sort of old. This therapist is different then the others and I feel like she’ll understand but yeah..

I have never been comfortable talking about sex with anyone including my Ts. With each of them I have a couple of times thrown in a quick generic type statement and then moved on. It was never something I ever planned to discuss even what little I did. Some of those times they did ask generic questions and I answered in a very general non discript wag and we moved on.

My therapist makes it easy to talk about sex and masturbation (we've talked abt both) . Ofc it was weird at first bc he is male and I am female. But my t is an unphazed rock

It took me close to two years, but I think one session I blurted something out that was directly related to my sex life and he knew how to take it from there in such a way that didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. It felt more like an intellectual discussion about something quite abstract, like it got separated from me as a person in a way that didn’t make me feel too exposed. I don’t really know how to explain it very well. The important thing is brining it up from a place that is slightly detached form you. A good therapist will make it safe for you to talk about it if you choose to bring it up.

I look at it as, who else am i gonna ask? This is the ONE person its really not weird to ask.

Sex is a very sensitive issue for most of people , but I believe In honesty in therapy , I told my therapist everything , maybe I was lucky with a therapist that is okay with my issues , one you speak about it , you may dont have to talk about it again .

I don't find sex hard to talk about. It had nothing to do with therapy for me, but in general talking about sexual things is not something that is challenging for me.

I talk about everything with my therapist. I did hesitant on sex but my arms worker said it's good to be honest that way they can monitor you and help you. I thought i was experiencing mania, two people assured me i wasn't. But i did learn about myself.

I wish i could talk more about everything. Its not easy for me, even to type this. Feeling aroused is like a trigger for me, i ****ing hate it. I don't masturbate. I do watch porn to help with the feeling but i watch for about 2 min and feel disgusted and eveything kinda goes away. I tried explaining this to my T but it didn't last long. I wish i could lose my sex drive all together.

My t tries to bring it up sometimes, she will ask if I ever had sexual dreams or fantasies. T once asked about masterbation but I almost fell off the chair.
She noticed when I get embarrassed or ashamed and she asks me what’s happening and I begin to freeze up. I think it depends on a lot of things and sexuality is such a huge source of shame for me that I find it hard to address with everyone including t.

I can talk to her about anything. When I get nervous about something such as sex, I remind myself that she has probably heard the same thing a hundred times.

I once again couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I skirted around it for the full session. I finally agreed to tell her in email. After an hour and 15 minutes of writing the email out and editing it, I just sent it to her. Now I’m going to be scared to check my email for a few hours. Seriously I’ve told one person in the past 9 years about this besides her. I don’t even like talking about it on anonymous forums.

She emailed me back and I am legit too scared to read it. I’m on the verge of throwing up so I should probably just get it over with.

She just said “thanks for trusting me” I know she can’t really discuss things in email but I kind of wish she had said more.

I don’t exactly feel better.

It's tough for sure. There's no easy answer

Just know that sex is normal. It doesn't make you a weirdo or anything to have fantasies, fetishes or desires.

The hardest conversation I had in therapy was talking to my male t about losing my v card. Growing up with deep sexual shame, it ate me alive for days after. At that session, I couldn't even look him in the eye and I kept apologizing. He handled it well and it just started to feel normal.

The best therapy session I ever had, was also that one. It helped me feel more empowered and took away the shame. I'm able to freely talk about my sex life now with friends. I hope that you can find a way to share this and just remind yourself, it will be ok. Best of luck