[emmaleemochizuki]

I have been through a lot of things when I was young, but because I was so young, my memories are still in bits and bobs. I was in foster care, but I never knew the entire reason or what exactly happened that led to that. I requested all my files from social services a while ago, but both T and I agreed that it wasn't the right time for me to read them as it might be triggering and I may not be able to handle all those info right now.

Anyway in today session I spoked a bit about my past, and maybe something that I never mentioned before as well. She told me how she always found a period of my past life to be blurry, but I was around 3 at the time and how can you expect a 3 year old to remember or understand much of anything and 20 years later to recall them. Some of the things I told her today in her words was 'huge' and could have impacted my development in many ways that I might not even be aware of.

I don't know sometimes I worry what if she thinks I'm making things up, or trying to bring up trauma just to get sympathy and attention. But I know I'm not, I had a hard time even bringing them up. And I feel like in the real world, a cocktail of things does go together. My father was a serious alcoholic and an addict and very physically abusive towards both my mum and I, and while I was in foster care, one of my foster father sexually abused me. And also not every foster home is fairy tales, some are just very horrible, and I lost count of how many I have been in.

But still I worry that no one will believe me. Especially when I was young, who would believe a child's words against adults? children are often not even credible in court trials. How do I deal with the fear that my T doesn't believe me?

[zoiecat]

Personally I don't think your T will not believe you. I know my T believes me and he tells me why. With that said, I have frequently read that it is not the T job to believe the client or not but the deal with you where you are at and help you with what you believe. HUGS.

[Lostislost]

Yes, fear of not being believed is a huge part of surviving child abuse for lots of people. I don't understand why people would lie about it, what would be the point in that. I know it can be hard when we don't have solid memories or proof of things. Your therapist will believe you, it's their job.

[daisydid]

I had a therapist accuse me of being a pathological liar once (I’m not), so I do worry at times about not being believed. At the end of the day, I know that I am speaking my truth, so it doesn’t really matter if the therapist believes me or not. I hope that he does. What reason do I have to lie about my trauma?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Lostislost

Yes, fear of not being believed is a huge part of surviving child abuse for lots of people. I don't understand why people would lie about it, what would be the point in that. I know it can be hard when we don't have solid memories or proof of things. Your therapist will believe you, it's their job.

Exactly.

When children are abused our reality is stolen from us. Abusers don't take responsibility for their actions, they blame us for their abuse. Naturally, we question ourselves. Naturally, we question whether others will believe us.

I think it's terrific that you're in therapy and working on becoming healthier.

[susannahsays]

I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. I understand your concern. The therapist I see has a lot of experience working with adult clients who have experienced CSA. She has been a therapist for more than 30 years at this point, and she has made several comments that lead me to believe she is very sensitive to the fear clients have of not being believed. I think that fear is at least partially a byproduct of abuse itself, although I can't deny that people (not therapists per se) sometimes don't want to believe abuse victims because it's too hard to comprehend how such things can happen.

As for how to deal with the fear, my personal strategy has been to ignore it and push through. I know that wouldn't work for everybody, especially if your fear is greater than mine. I also don't particularly fear that she would express doubt out loud, which makes it easier. I haven't yet gotten into the details I am most fearful she won't believe, though. This is not only because of my fear, but because there has been plenty of other content to cover. I'm not sure I ever will, but this has as much to do with a couple other factors as it does with the fear.

[Mountaindewed]

I’ve had a previous T outright say “I don’t believe you.” So yeah it’s happened to me before. I’ve had some ****ed up therapists.

[Rive.]

It's not a worry so much as a disappointment.

And yes, it has happened before. The latest instance was quite recently, actually.