[Crook32]

Is a T’s age important to you? Do you like them older or younger than you or does it not matter? My Ts have always been older than me even if it is just by 2 years. As I get older though it is harder to find Ts that are older. I might try a new T soon that is younger than me for the first time. Just curious if others think about things like this?

[CharlieStarDust]

My T is roughly 8-10 years older-which the perfect age gap. I don’t think I could see someone younger... but I am a bit of an ageist😳.

[emmaleemochizuki]

Im 21 so any T I find is going to be older. But I would prefer a T thats younger, cos I hate to be talking to someone thats like my parent's age if that make sense. I don't know my T's exact age but I think she is in her 30s.

[elisewin]

I don't think age plays a big role. I might not choose a very young T, but the reasoning for that would be the lack of experience, not age.

[daisydid]

When I first started therapy as an adult I was insistent that the T be older than me, but the T I see now is approximately my age, perhaps younger. I like that we’re at around the same place in life. It makes conversations easier; I don’t have to explain generational things as much.

edit: According to my internet search he’s two years younger than I am.

[ScarletPimpernel]

T is about 2 years older than me, and L is 4 years younger than me. I was used to therapists being older, but I guess a lot of them retired? Least my old therapists have. I don't mind T being a little bit older, but L being younger gets to me sometimes. It's hard because I see her as a maternal figure and the age difference throws me off. I also look up to her like a role model and it also throws me off. But no matter her age, I have these feelings because of who she is, and they're good feelings, so I accept the weirdness and move on. (She does know her age confuses me in our relationship sometimes).

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for posting this! This has actually been one of the things that has kept me from seeking therapy. Overwhelmingly it seems, where I live, the mental health therapists are young women with masters degrees in social work. They would have no more idea what to do with someone like me than... well... choose your own simile.

I did try seeing a few therapists for brief periods over the years. Most of them ranged from mediocre to dreadful. I did see one therapist for a short time who was younger than me. But, still, she was middle age. So the age difference was not so dramatic. She was actually the best of the lot. However I still don't think she had the skills to deal with my lifetime of issues. So I simply keep it all to myself.

[*Beth*]

I absolutely cannot envision seeing a therapist who is younger than I am - probably not one who is my age, either.

My t is 12 years older than I am, which is perfect to me. But the downside is that I am sure she'll retire before all that long; she's 69 now.

[Omers]

T is my fathers age and I find comfort in both his professional and life experience. I think, right now, I would be very resentful and untrusting of a T my age.
Oddly Pdoc is only slightly older than me, our kids were about the same ages. I am totally ok with Pdoc. I think though it is because she is insanely smart, gifted and eccentric. She moves easily in a 15 minute med check between peer friend and nurturing mom without it ever feeling weird.

[MissUdy]

Mine is 15 years older than me, but I wouldn’t mind how old he was. It was his interests and eyes that first drew me to him.

[ArtieTheSequal]

Mine just turned 70 not long ago; she's 12 years older than me. I like that she's older than I am, I don't think I'd want to see someone younger or even my same age.

[stopdog]

I would only hire one older.

[Flinders40]

Mine is 21 years older than me. I refuse to see a therapist younger than myself. Wouldn’t see the point.

[LonesomeTonight]

Mine is 50, 7 years older than me. I like that we're in a similar generation, so can understand each other's references. My ex-T was my mom's age (like 27 years older), and I think that (plus her personality) contributed to some negative maternal transference. Ex-marriage counselor was 12 years older than me, and I was good with that as well.

[nottrustin]

I use to think I would never see a T sho waa younger than me. Long term T was 21 years older than me. I liked that because pretty much all of the things I brought to the table T had to some degree had some experience.

When searching for an EMDR T the people who were older than me even if just a few years was not a good fit. The one I ended up with is 5 years younger. We are in totally different periods of our lives. Her child will start kindergarten in the fall. My youngest graduated from high school next week. I have been married for 25 years she has been for 8. Jer parents are both alive mine are deceased. There have been times I know she didn't really understand what I was dealing with. It was frustrating, however, as time has gone on even though she hasnt deal with some of these things she has come to appreciate the pain I am in.

[coolibrarian]

I'm 60. T is 68. I just worry about her retiring.

[Rive.]

I prefer them older. More experience and maturity. Actual experience with younger Ts only served to confirm this initial preference.

[just2b]

had a T that was younger did not like her, had some within 5 years and it was not good current one is 15 years older and I like her

[KLL85]

Age is something I am really picky about which unfortunately does limit the Ts in my area. I would not see anyone that is younger than me but I also wouldn’t want to see anyone more than 10-15 years older than me (I’m 35). Previous male T was 7 years older than me and I liked that age dynamic. Current female T is about 5 years older than me.
I wish it was something that I didn’t really consider as I think it would give me more options. Don’t really know why I am so fussy!!

[Merope]

Mine is around 50 and a good 20-something years older than me. I don't think I would be able to see a T who is younger than me as they'd probably still be in T school. Also, I like talking to someone who has more life experience than I do as I think they understand me better. I see him as a parental figure, but one I can actually open up to.

[feileacan]

My T is 30 years older than me. At first I was a bit sceptical because you know - the old people, what do they know about life and things? However, this collaboration has had the benefit of reducing or even removing my totally irrational prejudice towards older people, which stemmed from the fact that I had never had any meaningful connection with anyone who's considerably older than me (starting from my parents).

[Travelinglady]

I want a therapist now who is at least in her forties. I wouldn't find one that's older now since I am 65.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I wouldn't feel comfortable with a T younger than me especially as I'm prone to developing childlike feelings in therapy. My former Ts have all been a lot older so more motherly figures, but my current T is only a decade older and is bringing out different feelings for us to work with.

[hopealwayz]

I used to look for older therapists but my current one is 37 and he is the best one that I’ve had.

[hopealwayz]

My T is 2 years younger than me and at first it took some getting used to but I’m okay with it now.