I feel like my therapist is focusing on the wrong issue

I started therapy about a month ago after an emotional breakdown following 10 years of ignoring the trauma that I had lived through in the past. We are doing sessions twice a week because of how distressed I was when we started.

I feel like we have made some progress but she has been asking more questions about how my parents were growing up etc. They had very high expectations and were very critical and this is something I have come to terms with in the past and have been angry outwardly with them about so in a way I have kind of processed this. She seems to think that the trauma that I came to see her for is bad but is not the main issue and is focusing more on my relationship with my parents. Frankly, I am kind of over the thing with my parents. I accept them for who they are although I am angry at them in some ways. I also understand that them being critical contributed to issues I have now, but I certainly feel like the trauma I came to see her about is the worst issue because of the way it makes me feel about myself and is what causes my OCD. I feel like she is minimising the main issue or focusing on something else. I am not saying that the relationship with my parents and my life story are not a contribution factor but I don't think she is focusing on the right thing.

Hi smin. It's hard but remember you are in the driver's seat. You hired the therapist. It's your time and your money or at least maybe your insurance's money. I'm not sure how it works in London. If something isn't working, it's totally acceptable to be upfront with the therapist and say, while I appreciate that the stuff with my parents may be a contributing factor, right now I really want to focus on X because I feel that X is causing me the most distress. I think that is a reasonable request. If the therapists insists that talking about your parents is crucial to the work, hear her out, then decide for yourself whether you want to continue with said therapists. There are more therapists out there. It's not unusual to have to try a couple before landing one that you can work with well together. HUGS if wanted, Kit

Hi smin, it sounds really frustrating that she's focusing on the wrong thing at the moment. Your trauma is definitely important, as you said. Although in my experience therapists don't seem to want to start with the biggest things first. A big part of therapy is the connection between you and the therapist, so she may be just trying to get to know you to help as much as she can. Asking questions about childhood is a good way for them to do this.

I would share basically what you wrote here. As SlumberKitty said, you're in the driver's seat. I know it can be hard to share things like that with a T, like it might seem like you're questioning her. But it's better to let her know.