Do you feel like you shouldn’t matter?

Do you ever feel like your problems aren’t as important to your therapist like her other clients problems are and you almost feel guilty about it?

I’ve been in a crisis all week and I’ve been back and forth in emails with my T. She told me in session that she is very worried about me. A lot of her clients are younger kids. At times I feel guilty because she’s probably pretty busy dealing with these kids who are having issues going back to school and the anxiety about having to wear face masks and all that. And then there’s me who just a suicidal mess but who doesn’t have any legit issue going on.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I stopped going to my therapist for that reason. I felt like he was off in space as I was bleeding out my feelings. I've noticed a lot of therapists don't really contribute much in regards to helping you That has been my experience anyway. Also, just because she has other clients doesn't make you any less important. You are just as important as her other clients. Talk to her, maybe is overloaded. Tell her how you are feeling and see what happens, If nothing changes, find a new therapist.

Feel alone and left out of family

So, you don't think being a "suicidal mess" is as important as children's anxiety re wearing masks?

You do matter. If you didn't matter to her she wouldn't be worried about you nor would she have you as a client. Maybe you are a breath of fresh air for her. Working with kids and teens is REALLY difficult. Maybe she enjoys working with you because she can deal with adult issues

Yes, I feel like that often. HUGS Kit

Honestly no. If you see all the stuff on the news they talk about the kids well being at schools but hardly mention the teachers or other facultys well beings who will get a lot more sick if they get the virus. Kids with issues are in general more important then adults with isssus. I just honestly think I’m not as important at the moment. Plus I legit don’t have anything to complain about. I feel like I’m being difficult for no reason.

Yes I feel like that a lot too. From what I understand, this feeling comes from being around people that treated you like you didn’t matter (neglect, abuse etc) when you are growing up, and then it becomes a core belief that affects how we feel and behave through life until we look to change the pattern.

I feel it all of the time. I have a bunch of non life threatening medical issues, the amount of physical pain just Constantly feels like my karma. I was also emotionally abused from a very young age. I was told if I wanted anything in life I had to earn it. Including love. When I was desperately trying to earn the love, I was made to feel that I just didn’t want it enough and work hard enough for it therefor I did not deserve it which made not matter. It’s awful.

I used to count the number of tissues I took from my T's office and bought him a box to replace the ones I had taken! I didn't feel like I was worth even those and was just wasting them.

Pain at the end of the day is still pain. You matter even if you can't see it for yourself and your issues are worth as much as anyone elses.

It's up to her what she worries about and spends time on, especially outside of her sessions with you. Nothing for you to feel guilty about.

Honestly it makes me pretty angry that people talk about sending kids back to school without thinking about the danger for adults who work there.

No - I don't feel like I shouldn't matter. I don't think any client matters to a therapist, but I never thought I was all that different from any other client.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like your issues aren’t as important. To me it sounds like what you’re going through is pretty intense and definitely deserves your T’s attention and care.

I feel like this all the time though, even though my t has told me that I have the worst case of trauma he’s ever seen in a client. Idk what that even is supposed to mean, like how do you measure trauma?

I don't feel guilty for taking the therapist's time. I pay her for it and it is a huge sacrifice. There's not a shortage of therapists in my area, so I have no reason to suppose that I am taking away somebody else's opportunity.

But that doesn't mean I think I, myself, matter. I clearly don't matter very much to anybody since I have only the therapist to depend on for emotional support.

I don't think any of us matter. I don't matter to anyone but myself. I don't really ever think about others mattering "more". They probably matter to the people that love them. I don't see why a T would think of clients in terms of how much they matter to them. T's would be more concerned with helping people with whatever they need help with rather than rating clients in terms of "worth", I think.
Still, it must feel bad to think other people matter "more" than you. Feeling like nobody matters, including myself, is at least an equalizer, I guess.

If a therapist truly isn't listening to you, or seems to be spacing out, they may have burn-out. Definitely bring it up.

I don’t feel worthy of T’s time, attention and care. I constantly feel as though I am contaminating his space...
he seems to think I’m worth it.

I matter. I often feel disregarded and defective, but this is a global experience for women since this is how patriarchy regards us. However, I matter and so do all women and so does everyone in this thread. We might not be crucial or the top priority in all (or any) circumstances, but in our little existences and with our own struggles we are vital. The act of going to therapy (including spending money and time to do so) indicates that we have a sense that we matter and that our healing is important.

When I visit this site, I am interested in your postings. I enjoy reading your thoughts and interpretations. For the time that I spend here, you matter to me. It's a little matter, but it exists.

What on earth has come over me?! All this existential joy must indicate something is awry. I can only attribute it to the fact that I have been listening to too much Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

I see news that talks about the risk to the kids, their families, and the teachers regarding reopening the schools. The government can bully all they want, but the parents will refuse to send their kids to go get the virus. That’s my prediction of what will happen in this situation- it ain’t happening.

As for your mattering and deserving of therapy; being sui and t saying they are very worried about you puts you at the top of the high risk heap.

I also feel like I don’t have anything legitimate to complain about and am being difficult for no good reason. Is this simply the case of having MI? Isn’t that what t’s are for?