[stopdog]

What do you do when a therapist wants something you do not?

This is not scientific or even all that serious of a poll by any stretch of the imagination.

[Salmon77]

Can you explain the question more? Like an example? My first reaction is that what my T wants has no bearing on what I do, but maybe I'm not understanding.

[ArtleyWilkins]

We talk it through. Sometimes after really listening to each other, we recognize and understand the necessity. Other times, we don't and we agree to disagree.

ETA: At least if you are going to do a poll, have answer choices that aren't dripping with disdain. "Other" is all I can respond because the rest of your options all have your apparent opinion already attached to them.

[Omers]

We talk it through. If T wants me to do or try something and I don’t want to do it he will take no for an answer and drop it. Often though even if I have no intentions of agreeing I want to know why he is asking it of me and, if I know, I think it is respectful to tell him why I refuse. Sometimes we have come up with something completely different that I am OK with and meets his goal as well.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

My T would never want to do something that I don't because she takes my lead - always.

She may occasionally make a suggestion that she thinks might help me in response to something I've said but it is always that - a suggestion - not an assumption or prescription that I need to follow. If I don't want to do it, it's totally fine. No biggie.

We work together; she isn't an 'expert' - she just doesn't see herself that way. She's there to support me in finding my truth.

None of the choices on the poll fit for me because there seems to be an assumption that a therapist would decide what is best for the client. Therapists who train in the humanistic approach (common in the UK) don't do this.

[MissUdy]

Do you have any examples of what they might want? I’m struggling to think of anything ethical, lol. I don’t think my current therapist wants anything from me, he only wants to help me.

[susannahsays]

I mostly ignore her. If I see merit in what she is suggesting, I might do it even if I don't "want" to because I do agree that it will benefit me. I don't do it because it's what she wants.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

We talk it through. Sometimes after really listening to each other, we recognize and understand the necessity. Other times, we don't and we agree to disagree.

ETA: At least if you are going to do a poll, have answer choices that aren't dripping with disdain. "Other" is all I can respond because the rest of your options all have your apparent opinion already attached to them.

No disdain was intended. But other is a valid choice I always include. The lot of a pollster is not an easy one.

[Mountaindewed]

She has never pushed me to do anything I really don’t want to do. She has always let me choose my own goals in therapy. There was an issue with emails where she didn’t want me to email her for awhile because she thought I was becoming too needy. I didn’t really agree with that. And then she all of sudden decided she wanted me to send as many of them as I wanted. When she does stuff like that I usually just try to ignore her because I feel like she’s being contradictory and confusing.

[LostOnTheTrail]

We have an honest conversation about it. This happened a while ago when she broached the possibility of spacing out sessions.
It hasn't come up since then, and I have to say I am relieved.

This is the time where I need more support, not less.

[skeksi]

We talk it out so I understand what he wants and why, and I can figure out how I feel about it and whether I am comfortable doing it. Then we do whatever is my preference.

[Omers]

I guess I need to add that T and I follow the same process when T wants me to do something I don’t want to do as we do when I want T to do something he doesn’t want to do.

[*Beth*]

Speaking of peaches, I had surgery on 5/28 (achilles tendon) and all I want to eat are peaches. White peaches. I'm absolutely crazy for them. I eat 2, sometimes 3, every day.

[nottrustin]

I answered other mainly because I am trying to consider a time when T wants me to do something. She provides various options if I ask for help making a decision. We discuss the various options but she never wants me to make a choice based on what she wants. She wants me to make decisions bases on what works for me. She has always said she will support any decisions I make.

[JeannaF]

Mine wanted me to do EMDR. I just flat out refused every time she brought it up. She quickly got the message.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by JeannaF

Mine wanted me to do EMDR. I just flat out refused every time she brought it up. She quickly got the message.

I have found that if I just say no to something, my T eill often being it up again. I have to tell her why. In the beginning of teletherapy if we had any type of connection issir or when I talked a out lack of privacy on my house for our sessions. she always said we could switch to a phone session. I always refused. Finally, I explained that in order for me to be able to discuss anything especially painful I need to see her facial expressions. Do to my trust issues if I could not see her facial expressions then I wouldn't know her reaction. I reminded her growing up I learned that what people say and what people think/do are two totally different things. She hasn't mentioned it again. She just had never thought about it in that way.

[SlumberKitty]

Pastor T wanted me to be more social, make more friends, call people randomly from the Church to pray for them. Yeah, so not happening in a million years. I quit therapy over it. Our goals were not aligned.