Couch 218: Northern Minnesota 2050

HUGS Lost!

I think I'm slightly paranoid today.

Hugs to Lost, Kit, and whoever needs them.

Should be able to pick up my new glasses today. My other pair is being mailed to me (ordered it online) and should have them Monday hopefully.

Thanks, Kit and LT. I feel bad for not mentioning the scheduling at the end of session, but it slipped my mind.
Plus it was a heavy session, so I wasn't in the space for a practical conversation.

"Slightly" would be an improvement for me

I officially hate this week.

I wrote something to P where I said I wished I could give him a hug because he's having a difficult time saying goodbye to all his clients and I feel a lot of empathy for him right now. I could hear the emotion in his voice and I think he almost cried when he thanked me for saying that. Later in the session he said he wanted to hug me too and if I ever wanted to do that, to just ask. I would like to hug him at least once, but I have body image issues and I'm not sure how to get around those.

Aw, that sounds like such a nice moment. I'd try talking about your concerns around hugging. Maybe you could start small, like, his hand on your shoulder or something, then work up to it in a future session?

He's put his hand on my arm before and he's been doing it a lot this week (we're meeting 5 days this week). So it's a start. I think I will talk to him about it at some point.

What a terrible, ****** day. Not going to recap all the details, but I found out new cat now cannot tolerate a car trip longer than twenty minutes without starting to pant and hyperventilate.

We turned around and went home on the vet’s advice. She is better now, lone dog is lying next to her protectively.

On the bright side, pre-travel covid test was negative. Not that I thought it wouldn’t be.

One of my few regrets in life is not hugging my (now-deceased) college therapist during our last session. I was too afraid to ask and be told no, but in hindsight I realize that she probably wanted it too.

We just went to the drugstore to pick up h's new prescriptions, thought we'd make it there & back before the storm hit but nope!! Big ol' honkin monsoon! The wind was blowing so hard he could hardly get his car door open once we got there. It's raining to beat the band right now and high winds, satellite tv is out, I took a little movie on my phone of the water running down the street haha. I get all excited like a little kid during thunderstorms. Plus I found a $1 bag of my favorite cookie (vanilla wafer thingies) and between the storm and the cookies, Little Artie is quite delighted.

Sorry to hear about Cat. My cats go insane in the car as well.
Glad to hear you are not covid carrying.

Hello. I thought I'd stop in & pay my respects. I appreciate your chats. I'll just sit over here a little while, if that's all right?

Welcome, Breaking Dawn! Good to see you.

Hope you're having an OK day.

Ah, OK, then maybe you could try a side hug first, like just one arm each.

This reminds me again that I miss Dr. T's handshakes...his hand was always so warm, and it felt sort of like energy transferring between us or something.

I assume it's anxiety in new cat? I'd think the vet would be able to prescribe something, like cat Xanax. Glad you're negative for Covid.

Bleh... I love my T but don't like how she thinks I'm 'choosing' to dwell on how unhappy I was with my abusive family.

I've settled down in my current place but the stark differences are still new and surprising. Isn't that a good thing? Come on, my 3 months of "oh wow, I'm free!" is too long of surprise?

I spent 30 effing years with my family. Let me bleeping be amazed for like 3 years or something, geez. Why put a time limit on my amazement of life's simple joys when I've spent so many years being verbally abused for absolutely ridiculously trivial stuff like where I sit (apparently that was a reflection of my bad character) or how I drink water?

Someone I know got berated for stirring soup clockwise instead of anti clockwise. Ya, Asian parents...

Like come on, let me celebrate my freedom, T.

I'm also grieving my family even though I chose to leave. Somehow she thinks I'm not focused on living my new life. I am, geez. It's just that the smallest things, even good things, trigger grief about my family. the day i left, my Dad sneered at me and said the police wouldn't do a thing just like when i was a child he was battering. He told me I'm crazy and it's his god given right to hit us adult children. He was right, the police didn't do anything about my DV report. Don't I get to be angry and upset?

Absolutely, QM. You've been through enough, and you have every right to grieve, and to heal...whatever that might mean to you.

Yay, so good to see some familiar names again! Hope y’all are keeping well. Gnight from down under!

Yeah, though last time she got a prescribed sedative was the time she got loose in the airport and chased by the TSA.

Maybe she needs exposure therapy.

I think that’s abusers, not just Asian parents—2ex screamed at me if I whipped the eggs counterclockwise rather than clockwise.

Celebrate your freedom, QM.

Got my new glasses yesterday but not my backup glasses. They look a lot like my old glasses from the outside, they are a different color on the inside, but I doubt anyone will notice that they are new because the outside is still black. I seem to be seeing fine with the new glasses. I haven't gotten a headache yet so that's good. HUGS Kit

@@ because new cat can't tolerate car trips does that mean you didn't get to go wherever you were going? HUGS Kit

I slept through my alarm today, which I hardly ever do. Luckily my alarm is set to go off three hours before work starts, so I still had an hour and 45 minutes to get ready. I just didn't have my me time.