[justbreathe1994]

I got really triggered last night. A former friend joined an AA meeting I was hosting on zoom and I knew her from the clinic I saw Ex T at. I didn’t want to, but I decided to reach out in the chat and said hi because I thought it would be the nice thing to do, especially since I’m hosting the meeting. We got to talking and she still sees Ex T and goes to Ex Ts therapy groups she leads. I got really triggered because she said this after we decided to meet for coffee. I had to make someone else the host and leave the meeting because I started to have an panic attack and needed to ground myself. Now I think my sponsor is confused because she asked me what happened and I told her I had to go for a walk. I woke up this morning feeling better but now I’m all embarrassed that my feelings weren’t warranted about Ex T and I’m afraid of telling my sponsor what really happened.

[Omers]

I don’t have much to offer except that I can see myself having a similar reaction.

[*Beth*]

^^^ Same.

[SalingerEsme]

That feeling of being suddenly triggered is the worst. So sorry this happened while you were doing such a constructive thing. It's okay not to interact with the person, and to keep the stress of facing yourself to deal out of your life. I cant even go for a walk with my friend who still sees M, even though I am the one who recommended him before I opened my eyes and started seeing what everyone warned me about. I'm struggling still, missing M yet interrogating myself why such a toxic misuse of authority spellbound me for so long.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Your feelings are totally understandable and it would be absolutely okay to tell your sponsor the reason you had to leave. That said, I also understand if it feels too hard to do. Seeing another client of a therapist, even an ex therapist, can be incredibly painful for a lot of people. I would feel very similar to you.

[Shotokan]

Yes, I would be very upset too.

[InnerPeace111]

Do you have to tell your sponsor the details about what happened or can you just say it was a panic attack and leave it that? Sorry...not sure how it works with a sponsor.

[justbreathe1994]

Originally Posted by InnerPeace111

Do you have to tell your sponsor the details about what happened or can you just say it was a panic attack and leave it that? Sorry...not sure how it works with a sponsor.

I suppose I don’t have to but I’ve already told her about Ex T a little bit and the ending of our relationship being one of the biggest reasons I started drinking. She’s been kind and understanding so far. She asked me why I felt I needed to go for a walk in the middle of the meeting and I ended up telling her what really happened. She was really understanding and wanted to know who the person/ex client was so she could “be there for me” if the person decided to come back.

[justbreathe1994]

Thank you everyone. I was really nervous about telling my sponsor because I have so much judgement about feeling this way about a therapist. I’m afraid she’s going to think I have too many problems and leave.

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by justbreathe1994

Thank you everyone. I was really nervous about telling my sponsor because I have so much judgement about feeling this way about a therapist. I’m afraid she’s going to think I have too many problems and leave.

From what you wrote, she seems like a very understanding person. I really don't think she would judge you.

I think you mentioned that you have a new therapist. This is something you might want to discuss with her.

To me, it is only natural to be upset. That would be really triggering for me.