[Omers]

So last week T2 mentioned that her office used to be T1’s office when he was supervising her before but she worked in a different building. She said she hadn’t gotten around to changing anything yet other than covering the couch because it was “a distraction”. So... I couldn’t help imagining having met with T1 in that office the first few sessions we worked together. The office is much smaller and the couch is in the corner so I would have had a “safe spot”. The lack of available corners in his current office for hiding in has come up several times... he does NOT get it... anyway... the second session when he asked about emotions instead of freezing I would have pulled tight into the fetal position in the corner of the couch. I would have been mostly non-verbal and would have refused anything he offered to try and help me get out of the triggered space. I would have kept coming to see him but I would be curled into the corner and I’m not sure how he would have ever pulled me out of that triggered state. The best was would have been for him to move and sit near me on the couch perhaps casually touching the end of my foot. In the real second session I was standing and froze and he was able to easily pull me back out of the frozen state and it helped me feel safer.
So then T2... if I put T1 in her office then I have to play with putting her in his. The first session would have been OK. I am guessing that towards the end she would mention that next session we can go over to the studio side and pick out some art supplies. I would have then either ghosted her outright or spent the next session with T1 begging him to never ever make me go back to her.
Isn’t it strange how much of an impact the room can have?

[Elio]

Space is incredibly important to me. Your comments about a corner being a "safe spot". I do miss that about T's old offices. I guess I never thought about someone else really needing or seeking a corner in a similar way. I so miss my corners to hide in, get lost in, dissolve into and be swallowed by.

And yeah, I don't think my T really gets how the lack of available corners impacts things or what it feels like.

[Lostislost]

I also love hiding in corners. I don't NEED to hide anymore, I just like it. My T doesn't have a problem with our quirks, but he would like to talk about WHY being in a corner is preferable to not. Needing to hide when there's no threat is a symptom. If the symptoms stay then we are not getting better or moving on.

Ps. sorry I am clearly very frustrated with myself and I don't mean to come across as judgemental or anything, I know we all deal with these things in our own ways.

[*Beth*]

It is important! That sanctum santorum is one of the major things I miss, having to do teletherapy.

[ArtieTheSequal]

I miss the absolute feeling of privacy of t's office. My h has limited hearing and stays in the other room watching tv, and I'm closed in my library room, wearing a headset so at least her voice is only for me, but i still worry that he's going to hear me. not that i talk about him, i rarely do, but still, I feel my sessions with t are private and not for him to hear. Also, I hate the feeling of seeing her office on zoom and knowing I'm not in it and I don't feel her calming presence near as much when it's online. Stupid pandemic.

[nottrustin]

I also miss the privacy and comfort of her office. Not because I hide but because when I step in her office and she closes her door it is like the rest of the world is closed out. O dont worry about others hearing me. Her office is very simple but I miss the picture she has propped on the floor since it gives me a focal point when I need to look at something other than her.

Online I see essentially her head and a picture that is on some type to table. It is right behind her head.

This week I talked about something new that was really hard. While I k ow my husband is respectful for my need of privacy, I needed the safety of her office.