[Lostislost]

So I know therapy is like a mirroring process usually, like if I sit a certain way T tends to shift that way too, or if I'm sad he tried to look sad etc..but does anyone have experience of the opposite?

Lately I've been feeling like it's going the other way. Like when I've turned up devastated and felt far away from him, he has seemed extra kind about things and pulled me close (not literally)...or when I've felt really close to him and poured my heart out, he's pulled back from me and not mirrored those feelings.

Have I really messed it up after 4 and a half years? Anyone know what's going on or had this happen?

[Lostislost]

Ok maybe it's this...he doesn't want me to be close to him because of boundaries etc, so when I show I feel close, he makes it uncomfortable for me and so isn't a good feeling anymore. Because he doesn't want clients being 'in love' with him, right. I feel so sad today

[MoxieDoxie]

They mirror you? That would be sooo annoying. Copying my body language and mood. Thank goodness not a single T I have seen does that.

[Lostislost]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

They mirror you? That would be sooo annoying. Copying my body language and mood. Thank goodness not a single T I have seen does that.

Maybe they don't then and it's all in my head and none of it means anything. Who knows.

[quietlylost]

Not all therapists engage in mirroring. It is a technique that can sometimes be used depending on the style of treatment and also how the therapist was trained. Usually when therapists engage in mirroring it's because they are connecting with you and reacting in a way to help keep that connection. Matching tone, posture, or body language is a way to do that. It isn't always effective or welcome to some clients. If you're noticing it, it's okay to comment on that too. Therapy can also be about the relationship you develop with your provider and the way she/he responds to you or supports you. If you're appreciative of the connection and the mirroring, it's also okay to comment on that.

In general I'd say that every therapist is a bit different and not all of them engage in this behavior. Some are more cold and withdrawn. My current therapist is definitely more objective and distant. She doesn't really emote a lot and she usually sits in a standard posture in her chair despite what I'm sharing in session. I appreciate that she has a great memory and is able to help me connect dots and offer perspective. I care less about her tone and body language and more about the content of what she offers. She's not perfect, but I find that she's effective for me. Fit is super important.

[Lostislost]

Originally Posted by quietlylost

Not all therapists engage in mirroring. It is a technique that can sometimes be used depending on the style of treatment and also how the therapist was trained. Usually when therapists engage in mirroring it's because they are connecting with you and reacting in a way to help keep that connection. Matching tone, posture, or body language is a way to do that. It isn't always effective or welcome to some clients...

Thanks, I didn't realise they mirror you to make and keep a connection, I thought they mirrored because they already had a connection with me. I don't mind it either way I just like being with him. I guess I'm a bit more difficult for him to connect with than I thought.

[Omers]

My T mirrors some times in some ways. Mirroring makes us feel safe and understood. My T may lead a little with his posture to see if I follow and then he knows I am feeling safe and open enough for him to suggest something. He may mismatch me to break rapport because it is the end of the session... there are a million and two ways of using mirroring in the therapy process. Now that I feel safe T1 mirrors a lot less. T2 tries, bless her heart... but it mismatches... she means well. It is an art and she is still learning.