Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

Lemoncake · Dec 17, 2020 at 11:38 AM

My mother told me:

Possible trigger:

That one of my aunts' is in ICU with covid. My doctor cousin is also ill and his father too.

Lemoncake · 03:55 PM

Also really pissed of Y.

I agreed to study for my internal exam with her which she needs to do too.

She wanted to go through each topic from the start, but actually read it section by section and then she would ask me to repeat it back to her before reaching the next section. I don't find it helpful listening to someone else read. I know my brain doesn't work like that and I need an overview first and physically write out stuff at the same time. I told her I wanted to go through it by myself individually then we could discuss at the end. That we could study over zoom. She told me how she studied with two other people like that and that she was expecting resistance from me. I also got annoyed at the "do you want to pass the exam ? " question.

Totally =

Mountaindewed · Dec 17, 2020 at 07:04 PM

I’ve been using coping skills that have been incredibly helpful. But they could be considered very strange coping skills to some people. I’ve told you before and you have been totally cool and non judgmental about them. So I’m wondering how to tell my case manager what’s been working without actually telling what I’ve been using. I do miss seeing you and being able to be completely open about things.

Lemoncake · Dec 18, 2020 at 01:52 PM

Possible trigger:

So my uncle married to the aunt in ICU is also sick, as is his son and another son's 4 year old .

After moaning about spending Christmas alone I did get an offer to spend Christmas with my friend R who I haven't seen since the 27th of November, but honestly now I would rather spend it alone.

mugwort2 · Dec 18, 2020 at 08:46 PM

I look forward to my session with you. I like how you listen to me . I feel you are very understanding of my self esteem issues.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 19, 2020 at 08:06 AM

I'm beginning to feel like your use of the word 'despair' might be appropriate. I've felt a real resistance towards it...'It's not that bad.'

It is that bad. This is everything I've fought against. I cannot do this reduced life thing indefinitely.

Echos Myron redux · Dec 19, 2020 at 03:16 PM

Hey T. Miss you.

chihirochild · Dec 19, 2020 at 05:11 PM

Thanks for emailing me back. I... I don't know what I'm going to do without you.

Mountaindewed · Dec 19, 2020 at 05:38 PM

I’ve been listening to this song every night for a few weeks called Halls by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness. It makes me just feel this intense feeling that I can feel deep in my stomach. I miss you a lot and I’m trying not to let it bother my Christmas.

atisketatasket · Dec 19, 2020 at 10:40 PM

Dear No. 3,

I dreamt about emailing you last night, since Info’s not available and I would really like to talk to someone I know, i.e., not a new person.

ATAT

Lostislost · Dec 20, 2020 at 04:29 AM

Listening to the rain in bed. I wish you could tell me all about you. I've told you all about me. I don't feel like I get to form a clear image of you as a person, because I know Ts must edit themselves to follow the professions 'ethics' or whatever. I wish I lived in a time where we didn't have all those awful rules. Rules in our sessions don't make things ok or better, they limit and define and hinder. I think these rules were put in place to make sure no one really got better from therapy.

Lemoncake · Dec 20, 2020 at 04:12 PM

T I'm in a real mood.

Possible trigger:

I'm annoyed and angry at idiots flaunting covid restrictions on instagram.

My doctor cousin also came back with a positive test. My other aunt and uncle are still in hospital.

Studying is not going well.

Your wife has also been posting a lot on instagram. Not sure how I feel about seeing your Christmas stockings, your daughter in fancy dress or your tree.

P.s 60 days no self harm.

chihirochild · Dec 20, 2020 at 05:47 PM

I want to call you so badly.

chihirochild · Dec 20, 2020 at 06:05 PM

Getting drunk now.

velcro003 · Dec 21, 2020 at 12:04 AM

thanks for squeezing me in your schedule for when you're working next week. I have no idea what I'm going to talk about, though.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 21, 2020 at 01:18 PM

Dear T,
It took a lot for me to admit that one thing regarding D. I wish I'd said it earlier in session so we could have discussed it more. But we did still have a little time. And it felt like you switched it back over to the other, related topic. When I think I needed to talk about the other aspect. But then, I also wondered if it could potentially hit home for you. And so I wonder if I didn't push it more because of that? Though I'm also not sure how far we could have gotten with it in like the 10 remaining minutes anyway. I feel like I need to discuss it more, but is that what I should really discuss right before Christmas? I don't know. Then again, I'm only going to be missing Friday's session with you and will see you again Monday. So I think it would probably be OK to address that topic with you Wed.? (Knowing that I wouldn't be able to contact you before Monday.) I'll think about it...
Love,
LT

Merope · Dec 21, 2020 at 01:41 PM

Everything has been turned upside down in the last couple of days. Made a decision which broke my heart and made my family sad. Will now spend Christmas alone. I miss you and want to reach out but I'm going to respect the fact that you are on holiday. I'm kind of struggling right now. Everything hurts and i feel rough.

Lemoncake · Dec 21, 2020 at 01:44 PM

17 days without you already. It feels weird.

My youngest sister also dropped out of therapy after doing one session.

Salmon77 · Dec 21, 2020 at 01:51 PM

Between a death in the family and a Facebook pregnancy announcement from my supposed BFF, I am feeling pretty bummed out this week, and of course you're on vacation. Oh well.

Mountaindewed · Dec 21, 2020 at 01:55 PM

I’m making progress. It still sucks a bit not to see you. I’ve been typing out emails for you but not sending them. My case manager suggested I do that and I told her I already have been and that it’s been helpful. She said that I can keep them or get rid of them or bits of them as I go along. I told her that I like you because you know stuff about me that no one else knows and you are cool and nonjudgmental about these things and that I trust you.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Dec 17, 2020 at 11:38 AM #521 My mother told me: Possible trigger: That one of my aunts' is in ICU with covid. My doctor cousin is also ill and his father too. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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mugwort2 Poohbah Member Since Aug 2015 Location: Philadelphia PA. Posts: 1,291 8 28 hugs given	Dec 18, 2020 at 08:46 PM #525 I look forward to my session with you. I like how you listen to me . I feel you are very understanding of my self esteem issues.
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Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,161 6 1,834 hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 03:16 PM #527 Hey T. Miss you.
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 05:11 PM #528 Thanks for emailing me back. I... I don't know what I'm going to do without you.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,215 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,769 hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 05:38 PM #529 I’ve been listening to this song every night for a few weeks called Halls by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness. It makes me just feel this intense feeling that I can feel deep in my stomach. I miss you a lot and I’m trying not to let it bother my Christmas. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,149 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Dec 19, 2020 at 10:40 PM #530 Dear No. 3, I dreamt about emailing you last night, since Info’s not available and I would really like to talk to someone I know, i.e., not a new person. ATAT
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Dec 20, 2020 at 05:47 PM #533 I want to call you so badly.
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Dec 20, 2020 at 06:05 PM #534 Getting drunk now.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Dec 21, 2020 at 12:04 AM #535 thanks for squeezing me in your schedule for when you're working next week. I have no idea what I'm going to talk about, though.
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Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Dec 21, 2020 at 01:41 PM #537 Everything has been turned upside down in the last couple of days. Made a decision which broke my heart and made my family sad. Will now spend Christmas alone. I miss you and want to reach out but I'm going to respect the fact that you are on holiday. I'm kind of struggling right now. Everything hurts and i feel rough.
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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Dec 21, 2020 at 01:44 PM #538 17 days without you already. It feels weird. My youngest sister also dropped out of therapy after doing one session. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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Salmon77 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2014 Location: PNW Posts: 1,394 10 106 hugs given	Dec 21, 2020 at 01:51 PM #539 Between a death in the family and a Facebook pregnancy announcement from my supposed BFF, I am feeling pretty bummed out this week, and of course you're on vacation. Oh well.
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