Couch 220: Second To None!

Welp, Trouble has been taken down from the shelter site, so I assume he has been adopted. And I just called about Stella and she's been adopted, too.

I think the lesson learned is that I need to go immediately to the shelter if there's a dog I want.

I am happy for them, of course.

I don't mind repeating it. I did tell two of my support people about it on text. I am waiting for their response to see if they approve. Sometimes my T comes up with wacky things and I want to make sure this stays within the tenets of my religion. I think they will call me out on it if it doesn't. The ritual was sort of soothing.

I'm sure you are happy for them but you might be a little sad for you too. So hugs.

I really disagree with the rescues who require adopters to have a fenced in yard as a universal rule. That excludes so many people and there are never enough people to adopt to avoid euthanizing healthy, adoptable animals. A whopping 1.5 million pets are euthanized every year. I just don't think it's justifiable and it particularly bothers me with tiny dogs, like chihuahuas, because they are at risk of being attacked by predatory birds. Chihuahuas have been carried off and never seen again, or the bird tries to pick them up but miscalculates their weight and drops them - resulting in severe gashes and broken bones or even death. For this reason, I would not feel safe utilizing a fenced yard unless I was right there with him - in which case, I might as well just walk him or go to a dog park if he wants to run.

Someday, when I have my own house, I will have some sort of netting or something built so that he and my cat can enjoy a fenced in yard without being at risk. I think there are things that can be built for this - they are intended to protect chickens from hawks, but would serve my purposes.

Anyway, rant over.

Wow...

That had never crossed my mind. I suppose there aren't that many predatory birds in the UK, but there are hawks and buzzards. That's a really interesting thought.

I'm sorry you missed out on the opportunity to help these other dogs.

We have hawks in our neighborhood and one of them is really good-sized, so I only let Penelope outside in the (fenced) yard when I can watch her. Don't want them trying to carry her off! I'd like to build some kind of enclosure like that for all 3 of the cats to be in. Then I could let Penny be outside whenever she wants to and not have to watch her.

This morning at the beginning of session, T looked quite nervous and a bit awkward; I was afraid that something was seriously wrong. He eventually spat out that he wanted to write up my case for an academic journal, and wanted to know how I would feel about that. I said, “oh... sure, that’s fine.” He looked awkward again and said, “I asked you how you felt about it.” (I wonder if that’s because he doesn’t actually need my permission?) I explained that I felt good that our work could be used to help other people and that I really didn’t mind; that I was sure he’d change any identifying details. He looked relieved. He says he’s going to have me read it when he’s done to make sure I feel like my identity is sufficiently disguised. He warned me that the writing might feel a bit colder than some of the writing he’s done about other pts (eg in the book he wrote) because it’s for a different kind of audience; it’ll be interesting to see how I react to that.

Well my pastor's wife doesn't like the ritual that I came up with for the end of the bad habit/addiction and she doesn't think it is consistent with our faith practices. Crap. I can't really think of anything else that I could do for a ritual but I do think T is right that this is an important step. I'm like hmmm. Now what? I feel a little bummed too because it's like my idea got shot down. But maybe there is a better one being that I didn't have a big emotional response to that one. I wish T would have given me some ideas. We're similar in faith backgrounds. But she left it totally up to me. Which I understand too because I'm the one it has to work for. I'm the one that it needs to make a difference for.

We have some pretty big birds in my neighborhood but I don't think any of them could pick up a ten pound cat. At least I hope not. Amelia is by nature indoor/outdoor (I couldn't keep her indoor even though I tried really hard in the beginning but she is naturally curious and then she just loved being outdoors so how could I deprive her). I'm more worried that one of my idiot neighbors will shoot at her or something when she is prowling around the empty lot. I live in a kind of bad neighborhood with some questionable neighbors.

I mean no disrespect at all but am curious, why does the pastor's wife have to approve of the ritual? I hope you are able to find something that works for you.

L has suggested that I come up with rituals for different things as well, so I guess I'm interested because of that. I never know what to do either.

Also wondering this. Did she have any suggestions? Or is it just the fact that it's a "ritual" that's an issue, because that could, I think, be seen in itself as contradicting religious practices?

Artie, there is a product called raptor-shield that was developed by someone whose dog was severely injured by a bird trying to carry it off. It's for dogs, not cats, but you could look into it. It's basically a sort of vest that prevents birds from sinking their talons into the dog's back.

Whether the raptor can actually carry a dog or cat of a certain weight won't necessarily stop an attack and talon injuries can be life threatening.

There are hawks, owls, and eagles (which are quite large and could probably carry my 7 lb dog) in my state.

She doesn't *have to* approve of the ritual, though I would like her to because I respect her a lot as a great lady of faith. If I am doing something contrary to what I am supposed to believe, which she thinks I am, I knew she would tell me. She thinks having something that points to the finality of it all is a good thing but she doesn't like what I picked to communicate that.


She didn't have any suggestions. Which is kind of a bummer. But also I don't know how well versed in this kind of thing she is. I mean she has been a great help to me in order to get this far in giving it up which is amazing, but maybe she doesn't understand all the complexities of it.


I liked having something to "put onto" my arms since that was the main area that I was attacking. But since she is rather against it I'm not really sure what to do now. I might email my Pastor (who is also a T that I saw for a while) and see what he has to say. He might have some suggestions. I want something to work so I can feel like I'm done with this chapter (long chapter) of my life and can really move forward. I know that nine months isn't all that long (it will be nine months on Sunday) but it is also a pretty impressive, to me, amount of time. My Mom is making me a cake to celebrate it.


Any suggestions couchies, on what I could do for a ritual for ending it?

Anybody have any tips on giving a cat liquid medicine? I feel like most of it falls out of his mouth when I syringe it in.

With Esther, I force her jaw open, shove the syringe as far back into her mouth as I can, shoot the liquid in, and close her mouth and massage her throat for a few seconds. Then she opens her mouth to eat or whatever and none of the liquid comes out. Now pills......yeah, that's fun.

Also I tilt her head back.

Kit - 9 months is awesome!!! Great job!

Eta: One of my rituals for that is massaging lotion into those areas: showing myself love. You can incorporate a scripture that you read and maybe a prayer?

If you think your original idea would work why not try it for now and you could change it later if you need to.

9 months is a huge thing well done!

SK, my first thought re the ritual and the pastor's wife is that surely you are the expert on YOUR faith, not her. Just because the ritual isn't consistent with her beliefs or perception of your religion doesn't make it wrong or mean it must be inconsistent with YOUR beliefs and perception of how to practice your faith. I don't know why she should be given the authority to dictate such things. And iirc correctly, you've taught some sort of class on doctrine or something, so it's not like you are uninformed.

I'm sorry if I just don't get it - I am not religious and I get the impression that the church I grew up in was really different from yours.