Therapist View of Struggling During Pandemic

KLL85 · Oct 13, 2020 at 12:11 PM

So I have a really interesting conversation with a friend today who had spoken to her therapist about how much she was struggling during this whole virus situation.
I believe her therapist gave her some really invaluable things to think about and it has certainly resonated with me about why I may be struggling so much.
She said that a lot of those who have childhood trauma are finding it particularly difficult as this situation means they are living with being unconsciously triggered every day by the situation. The feelings of isolation and being alone, loss of control, that nowhere is safe and you are trapped, finding it difficult to know who to trust and what information to trust, all of this triggers similar feelings that were experienced in childhood and essentially at the moment we are living in a world that is just one big trigger for the past and it is retraumatising.
It all makes so much sense! I know for me that this is probably exactly what is happening, but I hadn’t really thought about it in that way.
Have any of your Ts said anything similar?

Lostislost · Oct 13, 2020 at 02:12 PM

My T hasn't said it, but I did say it to him...I know that's why I was struggling with everything at the beginning. As well as it being re-traumatising, it can also be an opportunity to heal from the childhood abuse we endured. Triggers can be useful because they show us where we are still wounded, and we can direct our attention there and heal..with proper support.

If my T hadn't seen me in person through all this, I have no idea how I would have managed.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 13, 2020 at 02:56 PM

Thank you for this! I've been trying to explain to L why it's so hard being away from her. I have only been able to explain that it's like an abandoned child finding it's mother. That you wouldn't just leave. And every time I have to say goodbye, it's retraumatizing to me.

Merope · Oct 14, 2020 at 12:27 AM

Thank you for this. It makes a lot of sense and makes me feel less strange about what’s happening inside my anxious brain.

nottrustin · Oct 14, 2020 at 05:18 AM

Yes, I have told T that it triggers my feelings of being all alone mb e and fears of abandonment. I fear the important people in my life will get use to their new way of living and no longer need me. I expressed my fears that she still enjoy working from home and not return to the office. She assured me that would not happen as she likes the separation between her work and home life.

Yesterday she told me some of her counts live teletherapy for convenience reasons. She had also found she enjoys working from home and not committing. So she will likely work from home some days and commute less. she will be in the office for those sho do not like online. Makes me a little nervous.

Taylor27 · Oct 14, 2020 at 02:19 PM

Thank you, this explains allot as to why im struggiling so much. I have told my t that this makes me feel so trapped and fearful. I think she understands and it's been helpful to talk to her about it. I am now again back to feeling the way I was last spring and this is helping me understand why I feel so sad and gloom. My therapist fully understands the emotions around this pandemice. I think it's been good just to feel supported and not judged by her like i would of if i was with my ex-t. I do not know what her view is but she has agreed with me on some important things like the impact of lock down, lack of help out there for mental health.

luvyrself · Oct 14, 2020 at 02:42 PM

I think this is a challenging time whether it brings up childhood fears or not. I couldnt even get the forums for awhile-phew, that was nasty! Thanks for being there, everyone!
My gym is closed, so I walk a mile with the pooch as many days as I can get moving, but its not as good a workout as my water aerobics and I knew people there. Had my only close friendship break down right before covid, and possibly should not restart it. I am slightly depressive now which for me means lethargy, but I am afraid to jack myself up too high by upping the wellbutrin. I am going to go to some seminars, keeping my mask on. That should help a lot. All of our community college classes are online, and that wont help the isolation. Im sure many of you are going through this. Hang in there!

zoiecat · Oct 14, 2020 at 03:32 PM

I always feel like the odd one out. I have DID and had a lot of childhood negelect and abuse but as an only child, I learned not to trust or rely on anyone but myself. I hate socializing and don't trust anyone so this forced isolation is actually making me happy. My T totally understands why. I love being alone and relying only on myself. The fact that I can't interact in society right now is wonderful. Sorry , I didn't want to ruin the thread but I did want to share in case there is anyone else out there like me.

zapatoes · Oct 14, 2020 at 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I always feel like the odd one out. I have DID and had a lot of childhood negelect and abuse but as an only child, I learned not to trust or rely on anyone but myself. I hate socializing and don't trust anyone so this forced isolation is actually making me happy. My T totally understands why. I love being alone and relying only on myself. The fact that I can't interact in society right now is wonderful. Sorry , I didn't want to ruin the thread but I did want to share in case there is anyone else out there like me.

Yes can relate in that I don’t usually care to get out and socialize much, so this isn’t too bad right now. It’s just that in the past pre-Covid19 occasionally went to a meetup event on a weekend once or twice per month and now there’s less opportunity to do that.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

KLL85 · Oct 15, 2020 at 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I always feel like the odd one out. I have DID and had a lot of childhood negelect and abuse but as an only child, I learned not to trust or rely on anyone but myself. I hate socializing and don't trust anyone so this forced isolation is actually making me happy. My T totally understands why. I love being alone and relying only on myself. The fact that I can't interact in society right now is wonderful. Sorry , I didn't want to ruin the thread but I did want to share in case there is anyone else out there like me.

You’re not ruining the thread at all, it’s good to share different experiences, hopefully that means nobody will feel so alone. I just wanted to post as it felt like a bit of a light bulb moment for me about why I am struggling so much. I can completely understand your point of view though and I’m sure there are many people out there who are feeling the exact same

luvyrself · Oct 16, 2020 at 06:21 AM

Ironically I remembered that my dad's business collapsed, he became an alcoholc and left a for a woman who had a few bucks when I was 14. But again, this was my network breaking down. My mom took the major brunt of this until I couldnt stand her despair and fixed her up with someone who later cut me out (I needed my mom because she was the only one in the family who had had and hence understood depression)and finally came close to doing me serious harm (not physically).
I am a loner too, but not to this degree. Those of you who like to be alone, who can jump in in emergencies? I am having two big surgeries this year, and trying to plan for approaching old age, and it's not smart to have no backup. I usually have one really close friend, but two of those have proved untrustworthy lately. I think it's really, really important to have a network for backup if not for company. Hugs, everyone. Things will improve.

susannahsays · Oct 16, 2020 at 01:59 PM

I relate to zoiecat in how I feel, yet I'm not sure that has translated to the social isolation being good for me. I think it has increased my dread of socializing or simply leaving my house because I've become so unused to doing so. I guess it's a bit similar to exercising. I do not enjoy exercising, and if I haven't been exercising, it is much harder to work myself up to doing so and to tolerate the things I don't like about it (like being hot, sweaty, hating my body, etc.). If I exercise regularly, I am more accustomed to those things and it feels less overwhelming.

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Therapist View of Struggling During Pandemic

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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,743 (SuperPoster!) 11 7,263 hugs given	Oct 13, 2020 at 02:56 PM #3 Thank you for this! I've been trying to explain to L why it's so hard being away from her. I have only been able to explain that it's like an abandoned child finding it's mother. That you wouldn't just leave. And every time I have to say goodbye, it's retraumatizing to me. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
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Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Oct 14, 2020 at 12:27 AM #4 Thank you for this. It makes a lot of sense and makes me feel less strange about what’s happening inside my anxious brain.
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