[MissCharlotte]

What if you didn't know how to go back? What if your abused inner child was afraid because of a transference/countertransference issue that has presented itself more than once.

What if you had to terminate in the midst of a lot of heavy work you and T were doing? What if this happened in the midst of a health crisis you were experiencing? How would you take care of yourself?

[ECHOES]

Oh (( sister and inner child ))

I would have to remind myself that, for me, I promised myself that this time I wouldn't quit no matter what.

Can you tell your inner child that you'll go with her and take care of her while she's there?

[MissCharlotte]

The pain is unbearable.

[sunrise]

sister

I would try to have my executive self insist to the inner child that we needed to go back, that we couldn't fully heal if we didn't, and that we would be repeating old, dysfunctional behavior patterns if we were to walk out on T and terminate. I would try to reassure and comfort the inner child that I would be there and look out for her. I would take her hand and walk to therapy with her. She could hide behind me if she needed to.

If I was in the middle of a health crisis, I would mobilize my support network of family and friends to help me during that time. I am having surgery in a week and will be laid up for while. My sister is going to help, my mom too, and my daughters. And a friend from work is going to help me out too. My sister is also good because she will talk to me about my feelings about the surgery, how I'm scared, etc. (My T didn't seem too interested in talking about my "health crisis" last time, so I don't see him as much of a support on this anyway.)

Could it be that your wanting to withdraw from the current heavy work in therapy right now is because you are overwhelmed and don't have enough resources to go around? You have the health crisis, which is requiring your energy, so maybe you don't have enough leftover for deep work in therapy right now? Could you go back to T and tell him you need to back off in therapy for a bit, keep it lighter, until you have managed the health crisis?

[(JD)]

I suggest that the inner child is still protecting you. Talk to the T (on phone if necessary) and share that perhaps you are going too fast in therapy, covering too much "heavy" material. Sometimes going slower, is faster. (((hugs)))

((((sister))))))

Just wanted you to know I care. Perhaps you can read some of the happy emails or posts you wrote about your T to help yourself get through.

[Perna]

I'd remind my inner child that she did not die the first time, with the "other" adults who hurt her, and that I would help take care of her this time. I'd ask her (did mine, many times :-) "Have I ever lied to you yet?" and, hopefully get the response "No" and ask her to be brave one more time and go along with me.

[Fuzzybear]

(((( Sister ))))

[tulips30]

Reading your post {{{{{sister}}}}} makes me want to send love and support. I can tell you are hurting so much. Please know there are people here to help and listen.

tulips

[MissCharlotte]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I suggest that the inner child is still protecting you.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sky, this is an interesting reversal with a positive spin--I never thought of it this way. Now, as others have suggested I need to turn the tables and protect her?

All, thanks for support.

I canceled my appointments for this week, during this past weekend when I was feeling vulnerable. I guess the only way out is through so I will call and see when I can come back.

omg. This is the hardest thing I have had to do yet in therapy. But right now I'm not even sure I have a T. I guess I'll find out today.

Peace

[drummergrl]

Oh my sister, what do you mean by not having your T anymore? Is he quitting you? That's sad! He's supposed to be there especially in times of crises for you. Generally T's can be really helpful in times like this. Can you try asking for help? Don't be afraid to get in too deep in your sessions. That's what he's there for, anyway. You are in control of that "little" girl inside you. You decide what and how far she can go.

Hope things get better for you. Good luck, feel better.

[MissCharlotte]

No he is not quitting & never said he was. I was considering not going back because of a transference situation that came up. It was related to past trauma.

I am trying to sort it out.

Thanks for the good wishes.

Peace

(((((Sister))))))),
I imagine this is very difficult for you! I know that you can go back and work this out with your T. I know it will be difficult, but you have the strength and resolve to do this! We all are here on the homefront supporting you! Just let us know what you need We love you!

[MissCharlotte]

I need a drink!

He just called and asked if I could come tonite instead because of a scheduling change he had to make.

OMG I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS IN THREE HOURS. HOLY MILKSHAKES BATMAN!!!!

[Perna]

Chocolate or Vanilla? Me, I prefer Coffee Fribbles at Friendly's? http://www.friendlys.com/menu/desser....aspx#fountain