[KLL85]

So today I discovered my T has his own podcast. Of course curiosity got the better off me and I decided to listen. Well I went in to complete shock when he began talking about his own sex life. It really wasn’t anything bad at all, but I just felt really uncomfortable and awkward hearing his voice talking about something so personally intimate. I think this is probably due to the paternal transference that I have towards him at times.
He also kept giggling and being silly when talking about sex and even admitted to being very immature about the topic which I find a little alarming when he is a therapist and I know this is something that is going to come up in conversation in our sessions at some point.
I also find it very odd that he would choose to divulge such personal information on a public podcast when he absolutely refuses to share any details about his life in session.
It hasn’t bothered me to the point of making want to not work with him, but I just find it all a little strange! Would anyone else find this a little odd?

[KLL85]

In addition to his sex life I discovered that he has teenage daughters and he was estranged from his Dad as a kid. He just came across like a completely different person to what I know. I think it’s just thrown me a little as it’s made me realise he is definitely not himself in sessions.

[Brown Owl 2]

I would find it odd too. I think that it’s a known thing that we clients tend to idealize our therapists. And, from what I’ve read on here, it seems that some are, in reality, very different to the person that we imagine and hope them to be. And maybe also who some pretend to be?

[KLL85]

It wasn’t that I didn’t like how he came across, he was actually amusing and enjoyable to listen to. If he wasn’t my T then it would be an enjoyable podcast. But it’s just the fact that because I know he is a T (he doesn’t talk about being a therapist on the podcast) I find some of what he said a bit odd and uncomfortable.
But it’s a good point about idealising as I know this is definitely something I am guilty of and need to work on. I guess I’m a little hurt that the person I meet isn’t necessarily the genuine person that he is.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I would definitely find it weird if I came across a podcast that my T had recorded about intimate details of her life. That said, perhaps not THAT odd, because she has shared some quite personal information in the context of my therapy. That's how we work as she's very open. I don't think anything would actually shock me about her. But with other therapists I'd have been horrified.

When you say that he isn't the genuine person that you meet, is that because he comes across so very different in the podcast or because he is holding that information back from you in sessions?

It's difficult because obviously a therapist isn't going to present every part of themselves to a client but there should be a sense that who you see is is true to who they are and they're not pretending to be someone they're not while with you.

I'm sorry you're left feeling like this. It's good you don't want to stop seeing him. I would say could you bring this up with him but I know I absolutely couldn't if it were me, at least not with a therapist who I was struggling with over the issue.

You're far from alone. I think hearing your therapist talking openly about sex in a podcast would shock most people, especially after holding so much back in session.

It would be TMI for me that could take up my therapy time to discuss. I'd prefer a heads up that it's out there.

IIt could be the case that your T is being geniune. It's just another part of him. Like the person your closests friends get to see could seem different than the person you work colleagues see. I imagine this has got to impact his practice though.

Some folks wouldn't care about this. I think what is most important is your thoughts about your therapists podcast

[KLL85]

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

I would definitely find it weird if I came across a podcast that my T had recorded about intimate details of her life. That said, perhaps not THAT odd, because she has shared some quite personal information in the context of my therapy. That's how we work as she's very open. I don't think anything would actually shock me about her. But with other therapists I'd have been horrified.

When you say that he isn't the genuine person that you meet, is that because he comes across so very different in the podcast or because he is holding that information back from you in sessions?

It's difficult because obviously a therapist isn't going to present every part of themselves to a client but there should be a sense that who you see is is true to who they are and they're not pretending to be someone they're not while with you.

I'm sorry you're left feeling like this. It's good you don't want to stop seeing him. I would say could you bring this up with him but I know I absolutely couldn't if it were me, at least not with a therapist who I was struggling with over the issue.

You're far from alone. I think hearing your therapist talking openly about sex in a podcast would shock most people, especially after holding so much back in session.

It’s not so much about him holding back information, I totally get that he is going to keep parts of his life from me, but he just came across completely differently. I didn’t really recognise anything familiar in him if that makes sense.
And I think it’s seems a really strange decision to be so open about intimate parts of his life on a podcast his clients can find when his boundaries in session are so firm.
Our relationship definitely isn’t at a point that I could bring this up with him. I would be mortified and I imagine he would be uncomfortable as well. And considering how school boy like he seemed to be around talking about sex then I’m not sure it will ever be a topic I’m going to want to raise with him now, especially as it’s a really sensitive and difficult topic for me due to CSA which I have not told him about yet.
I just didn’t particularly want to know anything about my therapist’s sex life, it just makes me feel icky. He can do what he wants in private, but don’t literally broadcast it to the world!!
Oh well, I guess I’ve learnt an important lesson, don’t let curiosity win in the future!

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Do you know if your T is relatively new to the profession or if he's more experienced? If he's more experienced I'd be REALLY surprised if he's never been in this situation before with a client finding out stuff about him online, unless of course he's never been internet savvy until now. I suppose some therapists might not be aware just how easy it is to find out all sorts of personal information from relatively little. Not that a podcast is that little! Maybe it just doesn't occur to him that clients could find this stuff.

I can totally imagine how strange and upsetting it is to experience T in a totally different way during the podcast. I would hate it and I'd definitely feel unable to mention it to him, especially if the trust wasn't there. I'm sorry that it makes it so much harder to talk about issues around sex but it makes total sense that it would. It's a really unpleasant situation and I hope you find a way to work with him despite it but hopefully there are other options if you really can't.

[KLL85]

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Do you know if your T is relatively new to the profession or if he's more experienced? If he's more experienced I'd be REALLY surprised if he's never been in this situation before with a client finding out stuff about him online, unless of course he's never been internet savvy until now. I suppose some therapists might not be aware just how easy it is to find out all sorts of personal information from relatively little. Not that a podcast is that little! Maybe it just doesn't occur to him that clients could find this stuff.

I can totally imagine how strange and upsetting it is to experience T in a totally different way during the podcast. I would hate it and I'd definitely feel unable to mention it to him, especially if the trust wasn't there. I'm sorry that it makes it so much harder to talk about issues around sex but it makes total sense that it would. It's a really unpleasant situation and I hope you find a way to work with him despite it but hopefully there are other options if you really can't.

He’s relatively new, only been practising for a year or so. I was a bit concerned that his lack of experience would lead to issues and I think you’re right in the sense that he doesn’t understand that clients can easily find out stuff about him online and will actively try and get information about him. I think he’s quite naive in that sense. Because he has professional social media maybe he thought that would keep his clients from finding his personal pages.
I’m going to try and just ignore what I heard and try and just carry on as normal. Hopefully the initial impact of hearing so much about his personal life will wear off and it won’t have too much affect on our relationship.

[*Beth*]

I would not be uncomfortable about the personal details. I would feel a little bit shaken if my T came across as a very different person than I know her to be. I mean, it wouldn't turn my world upside-down. I'd just have to make an adjustment.

[nottrustin]

The content of thr podcast would probably be a bit weird for me. My Ts decline is not something I care to know about. I know she is happily married and I know long term T moved in with her boyfriend...That was all I need to knoe.

[Rive.]

I wouldn't like to know about my therapist's sex life, thank you very much

[InnerPeace111]

I find his behavior highly unprofessional and disturbing.