Some very irrational fear about T

So since I knew about my T's pregnancy I have feared that if she ends up losing the baby. I have no idea why I have this year, I have never been pregnant before and I definitely never lose a child so it doesn't sound like it's something personal.

But weirdly because my T was like very very skinny prior and I even suspected she may have an ED and I'm just ruminating what might happen to her and the chances she miscarries.

Anyway I guess I'm a bit evil, part of me want it to happen, as then she won't take like months of maternity leave.

Anyway I don't know why on earth I'm these thoughts. Haven't told T as well. I guess I don't know how to tell her. she will probably think I'm a creep.

It sounds like you might be feeling a bit of rivalry with her baby, like the baby is taking her away from you. I think that is very natural and worth talking about with your T.

L isn't pregnant, but one day she hopes to be a mom. We've already talked about how I think I will feel. I told her I would feel jealous of her for having a baby, but moreso jealous of the baby for having her as a mom. She completely understood and wasn't offened or anything. She knows she's a mother-figure to me, so of course I would be jealous of the [future] baby.

I definitely think you should talk to your T.

Oh, my goodness, please don't be hard on yourself! Just about anyone would feel threatened by their T having a new baby and going on leave. Please talk with her about how you're feeling. I am quite sure she'll understand.