[retro_chic]

So my T is going on maternity leave in March next year and our final session will most likely be at the end of February. In my session this week, T asked me if I'd like to do something to mark our final session. I like the idea of this but I have no idea what this could involve? T said the idea just came to her then and wasn't really sure what it would look like either.

I was wondering if any of you have some ideas? Have you done something like this before? I tried googling it but all the suggestions were terrible lol.

[retro_chic]

Anyone? I'd like to know what other have done in their final sessions to make it special/memorable.

[Lostislost]

I have never had a 'good' final session with a T. I barely remember them if I'm honest. If it was with current T who I care about very much, it would be a massive deal. I'd probably want to take a picture, give him things, touch him...cry. I would be devastated so hard to think of what I would do. Hope you find something nice to do for your last session!

[LonesomeTonight]

Sorry, I can't help you here with any personal experience. With ex-T, I basically just blurted out at the end of session that I'd made an appointment with another T. I'd intended to come back for a termination session (or sessions), but never did. I talked to current T at one point about what clients tend to do in termination sessions, and he said how what I did, just announcing at the end that it would be the last session, is much more common than a formal "termination session." Or a client canceling an appointment and just never coming back.

I think I'd maybe want to talk over what progress I'd made, some of my successes, how far we'd come together. I'd likely tell him what he meant to me, though I'd be more likely to have written/typed that and handed it to him (or I'd be sobbing too much saying it). I'd probably also want to give him some sort of small gift, like maybe something I'd created (he's always tried to encourage my painting, so maybe something small that I'd painted)? I'd want a hug, even though my T doesn't give hugs (I'd hope perhaps he'd make an exception, but doubtful)--maybe just a longer handshake than usual (ugh, I miss in-person sessions so much...been virtual since March). Those could be examples of a more meaningful sort of session, wrapping up your relationship. Would she allow a selfie of the two of you?

Or might you want more of a fun, relaxed session? I know some posters have mentioned playing a board game with their T as a more relaxed session. Could you see doing something like that, where it's more of a fun session? Or, I don't know, make some sort of art together. Or ask her some things about herself, where she might be willing to share more than usual? Like, fun things (what her first kiss was like, how she met her partner, her favorite childhood memory).

You have a bit of time, so just try thinking about the sort of tone you might want. Also, is there a chance you could see her again after she returns from leave (if she plans to resume practice at some point)?

[nottrustin]

I have not had a final session since the ending with my T was very abrupt and totally unexpected. So we had a typical last session and said "see you next weekend hugged. Had we had a typical last session i imagine it would have been pretty low key discussing what we meant to each other, quickly going over the lessons we taught each other (she told me in writing once that I have taught her a lot but we never discussed what), I imagine there would be lots of tears and laughing. Since we hugged at the end of every session, I know we would have then too. I also suspect we would have discussed staying in email contact after our las session since our work would have likely ended when she retired (she was 68).

With current T I suspect the final session would look much the same (except she would likely not be retiring. I would probably as if we could go for a walk.

[emmaleemochizuki]

I ended with my current T once as I was going IP for ED treatment, I left it open, so she knew I would possibly contact her again when I have a discharge date.

We knew when our last session was, and nothing too out of ordinary, she said she would be comforted to hear some updates from me, and that was it, I sent her an email thanking her too. And I emailed her a few updates, and after about half a year, I emailed to say that I was out of hospital and I would like to start seeing her again.

I assume your T will come back to work after having her baby, so it will just be like a long break? My T is going on maternity leave too in March, and she said she will be off for like three months, and would start some online work, and she will start with just a few clients as first and I will be one of the few she will start seeing earlier than others.

I guess it depends what you would like, and where you are with your T in terms of therapy.

I had a final session with my first therapist. It was planned and there was no prospect of me returning. I gave him a card saying thank you and we drank tea together (something we had never done before). I don't remember what we spoke about, but I did not have any strong feelings about the relationship ending so it would not have been intense. I do remember he invited me into the staff kitchen to make the tea with him and I was very uncomfortable about it. So, yes, tea and a card and forgettable chat.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I had a final session with my first therapist. It was planned and there was no prospect of me returning. I gave him a card saying thank you and we drank tea together (something we had never done before). I don't remember what we spoke about, but I did not have any strong feelings about the relationship ending so it would not have been intense. I do remember he invited me into the staff kitchen to make the tea with him and I was very uncomfortable about it. So, yes, tea and a card and forgettable chat.

I love this post. It's totally honest.

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by retro_chic

I'd like to know what other have done in their final sessions to make it special/memorable.

after six years of working together, when i was ready to end (and knowing i was not going to be returning), we decided to have a 'celebratory final session'. my husband, who had also been attending my sessions for the last couple years of therapy also attended. hubby and i brought a special bottle of premium tequila to share with my T who had never tried that kind of tequila and T chose to bring some fancy chocolate that we could savour. so we ate chocolate and sipped tequila while reminiscing about the good and bad over all those years and also talked about the optimistic plans for my future. i gave T a hard cover version of a special book we had used earlier in my therapy with a personal written message in it. T gave hubby and me a small gift as well. there were many laughs and some tears shed between us. when it was time to part, i genuinely thanked T for all he had done and for sticking by my side and he wished me well. we gave each other a tight warm embrace and then i left.

i will always cherish that day as a celebration of the ending of one chapter of my life and the perfect segue into the next

[retro_chic]

Thanks all for the replies!

T is planning on returning after about 6 months of leave but I have difficulty believing her as I have two T's in the past who both said similar things but never returned after their maternity leave. I am also unsure if I will see another T during the time current T is on leave. I worry about becoming too attached to a new T and being conflicted about if I should stay or go back to old T when and if she returns.

Anyway, I definitely want to give her a thank you card/letter and I thought about buying coffee for us both to have together but T has been drinking less coffee since becoming pregnant so I don't know about that, I will obviously ask her first.

I've literally had three T's leave me (two on maternity leave) and this will be the fourth so yeah... starting to think I'm cursed. The longest I have seen the same T is 2 years and current T I've seen for about 1.5 years now but it might be a bit longer... I honestly don't remember but long enough for this to feel like a big deal.

[SlumberKitty]

With former T I spent the last session sobbing. We ended therapy because she got sick with MS and couldn't continue. I mailed her (because at that point she wasn't able to come into the office and I had her home address, she had given it to me it wasn't a creepy stalker thing or anything) a stuffed animal. It was the same stuffed animal that I had and had often brought to session and so we each have one. I told her when I miss her I could hug him and be reminded of her and when she missed me she could hug her stuffed animal and remember me. But yeah the last session was me sobbing and her talking. I don't even remember what she said because I was crying too much.

[Rive.]

My heart went out to you reading that, SlumberKitty

[mrxuneek]

Originally Posted by Lostislost

I have never had a 'good' final session with a T. I barely remember them if I'm honest. If it was with current T who I care about very much, it would be a massive deal. I'd probably want to take a picture, give him things, touch him...cry. I would be devastated so hard to think of what I would do. Hope you find something nice to do for your last session!

wow this is powerful. thank you

[satsuma]

I think I’d want to ask for T to write a letter so that I would have something to keep afterwards. Maybe it would talk about the process of therapy and all that had been achieved working together in therapy. Maybe even T could write it in the session donee could discuss together and then I could keep.
Maybe I’ll ask for this when it’s my final session! Haven’t quite got to that time yet. I hope that the session will go well for you OP. I think it’s nice that you and your T are thinking about it and planning it ahead of time.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I know it's not the same as a last session, but I'm giving L two gifts: one to mark our 2 year anniversary and another for coming back together after her vacation. The anniversary gift is a lantern with 3 of our quotes and a picture on each side. The project I'm working on is a scrapbook about our relationship: things about us, pictures of her office, things we both find beautiful, things I've learned from her, etc. Maybe you could give her a gift like that to "mark" the final session?

[ArtieTheSequal]

Originally Posted by satsuma

I think I’d want to ask for T to write a letter so that I would have something to keep afterwards. Maybe it would talk about the process of therapy and all that had been achieved working together in therapy. Maybe even T could write it in the session donee could discuss together and then I could keep.
Maybe I’ll ask for this when it’s my final session! Haven’t quite got to that time yet. I hope that the session will go well for you OP. I think it’s nice that you and your T are thinking about it and planning it ahead of time.

I like that idea, and I think I would really like something like this if/when L and I ever have an actual final session.